I watch people. Not the creepy kind of watching – just people watching. Lately, I’ve noticed how people react to and contribute to their surroundings. It is amazing to see this universal truth: Those who lead lives that are filled with drama, chaos, and turmoil seem to attract those very things. Those who lead lives filled with peace, love, and acceptance also attract those things. So what does this mean?
Sowing is a popular subject!
There are tons of books written on this subject. Just do a Google search for positive energy or sowing and you’ll see a huge list of speakers, books, and blogs. It’s a universal truth that what you sow will come back at you in spades! So think about it; where are you sowing your energy? How do you spend your time? What are you looking at on the internet, choosing for music, or choosing to read? Is it positive and uplifting or negative and full of darkness? Does it bring you momentary happiness that fades or does it fill your life with happiness that lasts? The truth is in your focus – what you choose to sow.
Reaping your own bullet
Once I fell into a depression. It lasted about a year and the cause was gossip. You see, I had spread gossip about someone which in turn hurt someone else. My personality didn’t allow grace for these kinds of mistakes, and this was a huge mistake! I had damaged a relationship between two people, and they weren’t even the subject of my gossip.
I was raised to believe that if you had gossip on someone, you had power over them. My mistake almost cost me my life. You see, at that time my children were the only thing that kept me from wishing I was gone. I was prescribed medication and started digging my way out of the darkness, but it eventually took a change of perspective and atmosphere as well. I’m sure you can relate – I couldn’t forgive myself. And I didn’t know what grace was, so I never even considered that God could forgive me. In fact, I really didn’t know God at the time so I really didn’t care…
For a while, I wallowed in it and couldn’t see a way out! And I sure couldn’t see how to find happiness. I was stuck; all I could see was the mistake. I surrounded myself with things, habits, and people that supported my view of myself. These things all confirmed my belief that I was worthless, nobody wanted me, and I wasn’t welcome. But these were LIES! The enemy wants you to believe that those lies are your reality. He is the author of deception, and he wants you to see no hope.
Grace is free – and frees others
Later, I met a man named Nick who taught me something. During his teaching on God’s grace, I sat in the back silently crying. I had never been taught that Jesus came to give grace and forgiveness. Deep down I knew that acceptance and salvation had nothing to do with rules, even though rules were what I’d been taught as a child. I was taught that to be loved, you had to be good; that salvation was hard and full of rules, and if you messed up you were no longer worthy of salvation!
What I learned is that the truth is that grace itself proves that we are all loved, and that we are all different by design! God made each of us unique – warts and all! Grace gives us permission to be who He meant us to be. Salvation isn’t about judgement, but about relationships! And grace gives us freedom!
Change first what you sow
So what does this mean? If you are struggling with your emotions, think back over the last couple of days. Have you sung praises to God, or wallowed in deep despair? Have you surrounded yourself with people and actions that lift you up or tear you down? Are you proud of how far you have come or still looking at how far you have to go?
My suggestion is to focus on the positive things, and on the positive people. Be proactive and bring the positive into your life! Be willing to do things that are out of character – go dance in the rain, find your inner child and do something you haven’t done in years – something that used to bring you joy! Start a gratitude journal. Find things to be thankful for every day. And then twice a day, and then every hour! You’ll begin to see the world differently – as God sees it! Take a step toward your dreams. It doesn’t matter how large or small. Take the time to sit and watch a sunrise, or take a friend to see God’s painting in the sky. Take the time to listen to the rain and notice its peace. Take the opportunity to watch God’s perfect timing. Give yourself Grace, forgive yourself; God already has! Know that God uses all things for good, and even your mess has a purpose; once you escape it, you’ll have a story of survival that will help others!
If you are surrounded with negativity, maybe a look in the mirror is required – a really good look! What energies are you sending out? How do you react to the small things? Are you proud of your accomplishments or a defeatist in the fact that you didn’t do more? Did you achieve your dreams or complain about how tired, sore, or time crunched you are? Do you have a mentality of scarcity or one of abundance? If you can’t see the positive in your life, ask someone who exhibits the positive traits you desire. And listen to what they have to say – really listen. Then, you’ll be a step closer to attaining the freedom you want!
Hundreds of people have found freedom through The Journey Training by letting themselves off the hook. Perhaps The Journey Training can help you begin a path of grace for yourself – and in turn set you on a course towards your dreams!
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“Well son, it was a little bit of hell, a little bit of fun, a little bit of excitement, a little boring at times; it was a little of everything – just like life.”
This answer sticks with us to this day, because our lives turned out to be one battle after another. We had to learn how to fight and keep on fighting, how to win, how to rejoice and be thankful – and then how to do it all over again. (From the opening of Losing Big, by Danny & Darci Cahill)
Remembering is important
Memories are powerful tools. They can help us avoid pain, allow us to succeed at tasks, and keep us on track. They also have another purpose: remembering the sacrifice of others. On this Memorial Day, I reflected about what might have happened had the greatest generation not sacrificed so greatly.
I didn’t have much of a relationship with my Grandpa Charlie. He suffered from alcoholism and I rarely saw him. Because of this, many memories of him aren’t great. But I remember one Christmas when he was there. I was looking at the Nazi bayonet he’d brought back from World War II and asked him, “Grandpa, what was the war like?” And I got a great gift in his answer. However, it took me years to understand it.
Now on Memorial Day I remember what my grandpa did during World War II. I choose to remember him as a hero and not for the mistakes he made. Perhaps we should choose to do that more with the people in our lives – especially ourselves.
Monuments of Memorial
When our son David was eight, he was hospitalized with Stevens-Johnson syndrome. If you don’t know what that is, I pray you never have to find out. In late stages the death rate is high. We were unsure of his future, and also unsure of what he’d face if he survived. He was misdiagnosed until an infectious disease specialist walked in, looked at him, and immediately knew what it was. He had recently treated the only other known case in Tulsa a year before. David wasn’t out of the woods, but with that diagnosis he had a chance! Today he is perfectly normal! When I need to know that we’ll make it through, I remember what God did for David – He’s a monument of memorial.
A Marriage Monument
Sometimes it can seem all is lost when we find ourselves in seemingly hopeless situations. When Darci and I wrote Losing Big, we weren’t sure what to expect, but the process of reliving those pain and victories in our past became a memorial of what God has done in our lives. We are still fighting that war called life. And in those moments of hopelessness, we need to remember how God rescued us and helped us overcome.
In Losing Big, Darci and I tell the story of our marriage, 6-months in. When we were ready to give up, God intervened. It happened the morning after a horrible night. While lying in bed, we were staring at the ceiling feeling hopeless when I said, “Something’s got to change.”
Darci paused. Then she replied, “I want to go back to church.”
Darci threw in the towel – not for our marriage – but for trying to do it alone. She knew in her heart that although it seemed impossible, with God all things are possible! (Matt 19:26) With that single decision, our marriage was set on a course for success. Was it easy? No. But we had a solid foundation to place everything on. Even when we didn’t trust each other at times, we could choose to trust God. And that was enough. We slowly began to see each other how God saw us – fearfully and wonderfully made.
Build a Monument of Memorial so you won’t forget
In Joshua 3, God stopped the flow of the Jordan River to allow the nation of Israel to cross. He then instructed them to bring 12 stones from its bottom to the shore. Here’s what happened next: (Joshua 4:6-7) “We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ Then you can tell them, ‘They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant went across.’ These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.”
So that we don’t forget, we celebrate Memorial Day each year to honor the fallen of our country. It is because of their sacrifice that we live in the greatest nation on earth. Everyday life can make us forget, so we need a Memorial Day to remember.
Make yourself a Monument of Memorial
In typical The Journey Training fashion, I’d like to ask you to do something. Take a piece of paper and write a few incredible things God has done for you in your life. Then find something to represent and memorialize those events. I use a polished stone for David, a 1944 Dime for my grandpa, and a list of 10 beautiful things I keep on my phone for Darci. When I need hope, I pull them out. The stone for my son – that God will make all things work together for our good. The dime for my grandpa, that there is a calling on our life no matter what mistakes we make. And the list for my wife – that God has given me the perfect wife, even when shallow vision may think otherwise.
These memorials help me through those tough times – those times when it seems there is no hope. And with them I remember that there is always hope.
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In the days leading up to Easter we often hear about what people are giving up for Lent, but when Holy Week is over, we tend to fall back into our old lives. Often these things end up being somewhat superficial. What if rather than thinking about giving things up, we started looking for things we can give away? This type of thinking involves our hearts, and giving from our hearts always leads somewhere good. If we can somehow separate ourselves from the busyness and distractions of our messy and complicated lives, we often discover things of far greater value.
Giving from the heart helps us do just that.
Many of us may be living with purpose, but are we purposely living? Each week that goes by, I learn more about what this really means. Probably the biggest principle I’ve learned lately is that the more my heart loves to give, the more opportunities I will have to receive. Let that sink in…
The more my heart loves to give, the more opportunities I will have to receive.
I am a mentor for Thrive15.com, the world’s premier online education platform that helps entrepreneurs, aspiring entrepreneurs, and “in-trepreneurs” (entrepreneurial-minded people who work within an organization). Thrive15.com created “1 for 1 HandUp Movement.” With every new Thrive15 membership given away, they give a free subscription to a U.S. Veteran or active-duty service member and their spouse. That’s what I call, “giving from the heart.”
When a farmer plants a lot of good seed, he gets a good harvest in return. When giving from the heart becomes part of our daily thinking, we will be on the lookout for opportunities to give. Chances to give may include simple things like:
Opening the door for someone.
Letting a car in front of you in traffic – and smiling.
Saying “thank you” to your children’s teachers (especially when the kids are older and we don’t know the teachers quite as well).
Connecting with a friend or co-worker that may need assistance or help, mentoring.
If a farmer plants cheap vegetable seeds, he gets cheap vegetables. If he plants premium seeds, he gets premium vegetables.If you want to take giving from the heart a step further, try including a small amount of money. The opportunities to bless others financially are endless. Here are just a few:
Get some $2 bills and give them to a homeless person or the person in front of you in line at Walmart.
Pay for the person behind you in a drive-thru.
Pick up a tray of cookies from Chick-fil-A and take them to work.
I can guarantee when you look back, you will have gained far more than you invested. Giving from the heart changes the giver as well as the receiver. What can you do this week to give to others?
At the time of this post, the video below has had over 9 million views. That’s 9 million people it may have inspired to give from the heart. What does it inspire you to do?
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I’ve had some big moments since I attended The Journey Training weekend. Big wins, accomplishments – champion moments as I refer to them now.
Maybe they aren’t “big” in the literal since, but they are those moments when you are in the battle and you have that “ah-ha!” go off in your head. This is the “Ah-ha” that you didn’t know before and the realization that things are different now. You see the situation from a different perspective and are able to walk through it, and knowing the result is going to be good for everyone involved.
Say it out loud right now: “Ah-ha!”
“Ah-ha” is the realization that you have the answer you’ve been looking for!
Say it aloud again: “Ah-ha!” It feels good, doesn’t it? Because the feeling is right and things are aligned.
Rather than share some of the champion moments – my “Ah-ha’s” if you will – I have experienced since the beginning of my journey, I’d like to share my daily attitude and approach that has allowed me to say that beautiful expression.
I am calm because I know I am confident. I take the opportunity to listen to others and sincerely engage because they ARE important and they ARE as deserving of my time as I am theirs. I’m now more transparent because I have nothing to hide from others any longer. I know I do not walk alone anymore because my Journey people walk with me. I live knowing I have a loving group of people that know where I’ve been and what I’ve done – and they don’t judge me for it; they love me regardless and the love is reciprocated through truth.
I observe the people around me and think, “The strengths in you I see are……” as I look at them. I see their strengths as they should too – dedicated, free, passionate, loyal, fierce, honest, a fighter, an advocate and some are shiny pieces of soul candy (or spicy pieces of eye candy, however you take your medicine). When I am around others I don’t let the bad apple be my perception any longer. I love them regardless – because I just “Ah-ha’d” all over them!!
I know other’s time is precious, as is our own. Maybe we go into the bank and spend two minutes with the bank teller, or when we are standing in line at the grocery store we spend two minutes with the other person in line with us. As we carry ourselves through each day, each two minutes add up to a lot of moments; brief moments – maybe a missed champion moment as we now know it to be. Maybe that moment can influence or change the course of that person’s day – or even our own. I know that each champion moment is easy to obtain, whether it be a smile with a, “Hi, how are you doing today?” at the bank, or the gesture of fellowship with a stranger in line, those champion moments awaits us.
The “good” is there within all of us. I’m challenged to remind or show others that they have that “good” in them too. I am flowing with champion moments all day now! Kindness, love, compassion, caring, sincerity, empathy, rationality, confidence, freedom, joyfulness, understanding, thoughtfulness, interjecting, charismatic, empowered, supportive, humble, tenderness, and I’m alive and on fire because of the “Ah-ha!” and my realization that I have the answer! I am the answer, and I say loud and proud, “James lives!”
And with Him and through Him, all things are possible.
Imagine the two minutes as a sip of lemonade, a 20 ounce “Keith’s Ice Cold Beverages Premium Lemonade” preferably, and know that sip is really good, every time. There are a lot of sips in that bottle.
I ask you to stop for two minutes and offer someone a sip. They deserve it. Be sincere and spend those two minutes with that someone that you may or may not ever see again. You may change their life.
All of my Journey people changed mine.
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Earl was an elephant. He loved the fruit from the trees! He would spend much of his time looking for and reaching up to get the best fruit he could see. But there were fruits that were too high for Earl to reach.
Earl would watch the monkeys screaming and playing in the trees. They would eat the fruits that were high up in the trees. Earl wished his trunk was long enough to reach those fruits, but it was only long enough to reach the low hanging fruits. Earl would eat those low hanging fruits, but in his heart he longed for the fruits up high in the tree. They looked bigger and more colorful, and he could imagine the sweet, sweet taste that was just out of his reach.
One day, Earl called to the monkeys, “Hey! I want some fruit! Can you drop one to me please?”
Mindi the monkey replied, “Why? You have fruit right in front of you. Just reach up and grab it!”
Earl shouted back, “But I want the high fruit! I’m sure it tastes much better than the fruit I can reach!”
Mindi shrugged her shoulders and said, “Okay Earl. Here you go!” And she dropped a fruit to Earl.
Finally! Earl had what he had longed for! He looked at the fruit and thought of all the times he ate that low hanging fruit while dreaming of the high fruit! Now he was going to taste the good fruit and finally see what he had been missing out on.
He took a bite and the fruit hit his tongue. He closed his eyes and tasted the sweetness. He chewed and ate the fruit.
Earl was confused. “This fruit isn’t any sweeter than the fruit I’ve been eating! I was so sure it would be better, but it’s exactly the same!”
Mindi climbed down the tree and looked at Earl. “I was wondering why you so wanted the high fruit!”
Earl asked, “Why do you eat the high fruit Mindi? Why do you climb so high to get them when there are fruits that are low?”
Mindi replied, “The high fruit is easiest for me to get, because I live high in the trees. Why would I travel so far to get the low hanging fruit when I can simply reach out and eat the fruit that is within my reach?”
Earl thought about all the time he had wasted dreaming of the high fruit and not enjoying the fruit he had right within the reach of his trunk!
“Never again will I long for something without enjoying what I have. I will dream, but not at the cost of the moment. I’m going to enjoy the fruit I can eat – the low hanging fruit – and truly savor what I have within the reach of my own trunk!”
In your life, what are you dreaming of? Dreams are great, but if you are only able to see the dream, what are you doing with the moment – with right now? Don’t spend your life running so fast toward your goal that you pass by the life you have now. Sometimes the greatest joy can come from the low hanging fruit, so look for that first – and enjoy it – and keep reaching high for the stars as you do! If you are a steward with what you have, more will surely follow!
‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.’ (Matthew 25:21 NIV)
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