Getting from one point to another usually isn’t that hard. We usually make it hard. Most of the time it doesn’t look the same for everyone, with steps that can be very different. We are all at different places in our lives, and throwing a personal development training into our budget of finances and time can create a little chaos…if we allow it to. How are you getting from Point A to Point B?
When we have something that isn’t planned suddenly appear, our first reaction can be, “I can’t do it.” Why do we think that? I say it is the easy way to think; it’s our comfort zone – all warm and fuzzy – and we like it there. After all, the easiest way to deal with a problem is to forget about the problem, right?
If we look at it from an abundance mindset, or one of growth, we can begin to see it differently. If you went through Threshold, you can clearly see the impact the training has had on your life. And unlike other trainings, you’ll remember this one for years to come. You may ask, “How can we have our cake and eat it too?” Well, all of these are examples from true stories of people from The Journey Training and how they went from A to B. Use this as a guide – a template – to start the juices flowing for figuring out how to make this happen for you.
Have you ever had a situation where you were doing all the work while someone else was just sitting off to the side, not doing their fair share making you frustrated? I have. It is in our nature as humans to want to help others. At the same time, we don’t want to be taken advantage of. I know for me, when someone is in need of finances, and they are willing to make an effort to do something, I will jump in and want to help them. On the flip side, if they are not willing to make an effort, I can lose the desire to help. Here are some ideas that we’ve seen from people who got off their ask and made some efforts, and it served them well.
It snowed, and we walked the neighborhood asking if we could shovel their walk, for a donation so we could go to The Journey.
When it snowed, I used my suburban to pull people out of ditches, and they gave me money toward The Journey Training.
I posted on social media that I would be willing to babysit for anyone if they wanted to go on a date.
I offered to clean houses to make some money to go toward my next Journey class, and I achieved my goal! AND was able to do a little after that helped me supplement my income.
I sewed a quilt, and auctioned it off to TJT alumni.
I did a bike marathon, and set it up as a fundraiser, and I asked people to sponsor me per mile I rode the bike.
Went to Sam’s Club and bought some beef jerky and candy bars, then I sold it at work as a fundraiser to come back to The Journey.
We gave plasma. It gave us time together, and gave us some extra cash to make this happen. (I just got a message from someone that you can earn up to $400 your first month giving plasma by doing it 2x per week)
I Gave Blood.
I offered to mow anyone’s grass to make money to go to Crossroads, and I did it!
Once we had 2 girls in one class that were massage therapists. They had a dinner and everyone came over. They gave 30 min massages to everyone for donations.
I offered to do miscellaneous stuff, so I hung helped hang Christmas lights.
Sign up with Uber and become a Taxi in your spare time.
I had a fundraiser dinner, where I cooked all the food, and people from the alumni group paid to come have dinner.
People have sold Chick-fil-A calendars as a fundraiser. (This is an option from Aug-Dec only)
Selling miscellaneous things on EBay, Craigslist, or even to a Pawn Shop – DISCLOSURE: we are not telling you to go sell all your stuff to go thru TJT! We are encouraging you to think differently, with an open mind, on ways to raise funds if you need them.
Trainees have organized Garage Sales to raise money to go, or to help those in their class go.
Or perhaps you could make the difference by cutting back. (Oh my goodness, he said it.) We want what we want when we want it, right? Well sometimes hitting our goals makes things look a little different. Saying NO to something, even just for a little while, can be a healthy practice and a way to raise needed funds to get back to Crossroads. No does not have to mean no forever. Ask yourself, “Could I be spending money foolishly? Can I cut back on anything? Decrease my spending?” Here are some examples of cutting back:
“I would get Starbucks or a Chick-fil-A tea every day on my way to work. By cutting this out for a time, it saved me $60 per month that I could put towards my training.
“I called my cable provider. I asked them how I could lower my cost, and that if I didn’t, I’d have to stop using them altogether. Guess what? THEY CUT MY COST $19 A MONTH!”
“We cut back on our eating out, and with just 3 extra meals at home we saved $40 per month!”
Every one of us has Talents and Gifts that God intends us to use. What are yours? Is there anything you can offer to people to raise funds.
People have made T-Shirts with Journey things on it for their class and other alumni to buy.
People have made wall hanging art – one said “Life is better on the Boat!” – and sold it to alumni
People have made stained glass items and sold them to people.
People have sold custom-made cookies for events.
People have prepared pans of Lasagna for alumni to buy so they’d have a pre-made dinner for their family.
Someone created Hair Bows and sold them to people.
Someone created custom coasters for people using pictures for fundraising.
Someone did a phot shoot for funds for their next training.
When we are making efforts to hit our goals, others can be encouraged by this. They may even want to jump in to help! Unfortunately, there are those who don’t make the effort and end up not reaching their goals – which is going victim to their circumstances. Look at all these ideas. Maybe it’s time to set your pride aside, and think about what you can do to invest in yourself!
And if you’ve already finished your trainings, there is a Class 3 called LAUNCH that is about to begin, so maybe you need to save up for that! And maybe you’d save someone’s life by doing these things again and sponsoring someone you love to fill your seat in The Journey Training.
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It’s the beginning of the year, and most people are eyeing new goals – or the ones they never got around to finishing last year. For me it’s different this year. I’m addressing one I created a need for in 2015. I gained 30 pounds.
It’s been a tough year
This year in October, the cast of Season 8 of The Biggest Loser met at the National Institute of Health (NIH) in Bethesda, MD. We were excited to hug each other and talk over memories, but we were called there for a reason. During the trip, I learned some important things. We all have struggled with our weight after the show – some more than others – but everyone has struggled.
We went to NIH to get our metabolism tested again. You see, during my season on The Biggest Loser, the government tested our metabolisms before we began, in the middle of the process, at the final weigh-in, and 2 years after the show. They found that our metabolisms slowed despite retaining most of our muscle mass. They had speculated that if we kept the muscle, our metabolisms wouldn’t slow as much. They were wrong.
After the show, my resting metabolic rate (RMR) was 1500. Two years later it was 1650, and now it is 1800. When I began it was over 3000! They expected it to slow, but 6-years after I am at 79% of a normal man’s RMR, which puts me behind the 8-ball! Your RMR is the amount of calories you burn resting – doing nothing – and I’m at a 450 calorie disadvantage. They suspect it is because of our rapid weight loss paired with our rapid energy expenditure. I burned about 8000 calories per day while only eating about 15% as much. Our RMR’s haven’t bounced back like they thought it would. Our bodies have changed – despite packing on some additional muscle and our weight increasing.
All of that said, I gained 30 pounds this year, and I cannot become a victim to my circumstance! So what do I do now? I set a goal.
Success begins with a goal
When you set a goal, it should be attainable with real measuring points to hit along the way, whether the goal is financial, physical, spiritual, or relational.
First, you should come up with a precise goal statement. It should contain what you want in measurable form, a time frame in achieving it, and it must be realistic. To simply say “I want to lose weight” isn’t enough. We want to be specific.
Here are my goals for 2016
I want to lose 30 pounds in 3 months. I have an amount to lose, a time frame to achieve it, and it is achievable.
For financial, you might say I want to pay off $5,000 in credit card debt in 2016. It is measured in amount and time, and that could be done.
Maybe I want to spend 15 minutes a day reading the bible in 2016. Yes! If I’d said 1 hour a day, I’d ask if it were realistic to spend over 6% of my waking hours reading. I’d say no – but less than 2%? Okay!
Write your goal statement and put it everywhere – on your refrigerator, mirror, desk, phone – everywhere!
Taking steps
Next you should set 3 goal action steps. Getting started begins with taking steps. Make them specific. Not “work out 1 hour every day.” 7-days a week is too high, setting you up to fail.
My action steps look like this:
1. I will eat lunch in the office four days a week.
2. I will work out three times a week in the gym, including an additional two hours of cardio.
3. I will weigh-in once per week and measure my achievements. Those three steps I can handle!
Each step, you may need to break down even further. If your first step is join a gym, you might break that down to
1. Visit three gyms this week
2. Choose one and sign up
3. Set up an auto-draft payment.
So, create your specific and measurable goal statement for 2016, and create 3 attainable action steps to get you moving. Now you just have to start moving – step by step! And if you need help, reach out to me! I have an online coaching group that can help you set and achieve your 2016 goals! You can email me at danny@thedannycahill.com.
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“The only limits I have are the ones I place on myself.” Danny Cahill wrote those words in his song, “Reach for it”. Those who know me may be thinking, “Alison & limits? Those two words don’t go together.” And they may be right in many ways.
I had a prenatal stroke, which would limit most people. But now I am doing side planks and star pushups, I’m the most mobile non-driver you’ll ever meet, and I can get to other states and back in a day’s time. I do have limits though.
The weight I still need to lose comes from limits. The feeling of “stuck” I have felt at various times in the last two years has been partially out of my control, but not all of it. Some of it has come from me limiting my own choices. Who do you honor by committing?
I have had the opportunity in the last several months to look at my commitments, as well as my attitudes toward them. When it comes to honoring commitments, I historically honor commitments to everyone else, and only then do I MAYBE honor the commitments to myself. I’ll help someone with their personal or professional pursuits, and in the process I leave my own hanging – usually by talking on the phone with them when I had originally committed to exercise.
Competing Commitments
Danny has been working with us in his Simply Lose It coaching group on identifying, and then challenging our competing commitments. When we have something we really want (such as losing weight, getting out of debt, growing spiritually, etc.), but other hidden agendas consistently come against it through actions we are doing or not doing, the trend is a competition to our commitment. What we really want gets trumped by our competing commitment. Here’s an example of what it might look like:
I’m committed to losing x pounds in 6 months.
Things I’m doing that keep me from losing the weight:
I justify cheating based on social needs or how well I’m doing, I eat out too much, I drink sweet tea, and I allow one cheat to turn into 2 or 3
Things I’m not doing that keep me from losing the weight:
I am not getting workouts in, I am not eating the meal plan, and I am not staying consistent
Why do I or don’t I take the above actions? Time management, excuses, losing my resolve, impatience
My competing commitments are:
I am more committed to excuses and stress management than losing weight.
I am more committed to eating out and cheating than eating the meal plan and losing weight
I am more committed to drinking sweet tea than losing weight
I am more committed to sporadically dodging workouts for various reasons than working out to lose weight
What are you most committed to achieving? What other commitments are competing with that commitment? To achieve what you most want, you have to move it above all of those other commitments, and act on it accordingly. Saying you are MOST COMMITED TO something doesn’t make it happen. If your results are that your competing commitment are winning, then you are truly most committed to your competing commitments. So how do we challenge these competing commitments?
Challenge It!
With all of these Do’s, I can write an “I don’t”, such as I do cheat too much –I don’t stay consistent enough to meet my goal.
After identifying my competing commitments, I need to take action to challenge them. I am shortening my commitment into smaller commitment times, making it easier to chalk up a win.
Struggling with too many cheats in a week, I am shortening my goal time to 3 and a half days from a week. Since I want to challenge credit card debt, I’m committing to not using credit cards for at least a month. Finding something you CAN DO to resist the competition arms yourself for the battle!
Competing with God
As I’ve marinated on this idea of competing commitments, I’ve also seen how it translates in my life spiritually. In the Bible, Jesus says in John 10:10, “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy – I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly.” Satan has been competing with God from the beginning. Think about the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. I read a meme this week that said, “Satan tries to limit your praying because he knows your praying will limit him.” The Name of Jesus will always challenge Satan. Nothing formed against us shall stand. Competing commitments have come, are coming, and will come. So let’s challenge them accordingly to overcome them and, in turn, get what we truly want!
Danny’s song “Reach for it” also says, “Just when I think my limit is found, I will go searching for more fertile ground.” Where will you search for the fertile ground? The Journey Training offered me fertile ground in my class, and a continual fertile ground each month! Participants have the opportunity to evaluate their commitments and break through their limits. Are you ready to find your fertile ground? The first thing you can do to challenge your competing commitments is to sign up for the very next Threshold class today! It has helped me, and I promise it can help you!
For a free copy of Danny’s song “Reach for it”, email him and ask for it at Danny@TheDannyCahill.com and he’ll send you an MP3!
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I see it every day – parents sheltering their kids from experiencing the world as they were meant to – by being involved wholly! We did it for a while, too. I remember when David was young, we never let him watch anything scary on television. It was Blue’s Clues and Elmo – which to me can be pretty scary – and that pretty much wrapped it up. We were doing him a favor, right?
Well, we thought we were, but let’s take a closer look. We took him to Disney on Ice one year, and when the “villains” came skating out, David began sinking down in his chair and closed his eyes. He was terrified! This behavior confused Darci and she didn’t know what was wrong with him! I knew what was wrong – he hadn’t eaten any dirt.
Dirt can be good for you
My mom always said, “Go outside and get dirty!” As a young boy, I was all about that! And getting dirty has its positives. Did you know exposing yourself to germs actually builds up your immune system? So a person who never gets exposed to certain things can be in danger of getting sick!
When you travel to foreign lands, you can be susceptible to germs you’ve never been exposed to, causing a danger of getting sick. You have little or no immunity to some diseases where you’ve never tread. Once you’re exposed to something, you may get sick, but then your immune system builds up antibodies that can fight off the disease the next time you come into contact with it. In fact, when you are vaccinated for something such as smallpox, they actually inject a dose of that very disease that cannot reproduce into your body. Your body fights off the disease and is programmed to make you immune.
When we saw David freaking out over the villains, we knew at that point we needed to stop being overprotective. He needs to be exposed to the world. Otherwise, he will be in for a shock in other areas of his life. We all need to be exposed to the real world. Otherwise, we’re all in for a big surprise!
Dirt is experience
I look at experience like eating some dirt. If you want to conquer something, get some experience! I remember when I first began teaching David to throw a ball. He looked hilarious! Then, as he tried again and again, he got better. Soon he was one of the best ball throwers on the team! It was awesome to watch, but without the practice and experience, he’d have never been able to throw a ball.
When I was on The Biggest Loser, I was thankful. I was thankful that I had played sports and gone through two-a-days in football. I was thankful that I “cut mud” on my Uncle Goddard’s paving crew and wore myself slick! I was thankful I wrestled – probably the hardest 5 minutes you’ll ever spend in your life. My dad exposed me to these things. Some dad’s didn’t. I saw some others on the show that never experienced the tough work I had. I think that helped me to do well on the show – that I had eaten some dirt before that time.
Get dirty to get successful
Most people want success to fall in their laps. Others try something, and at the first sign of adversity they give up. I’ve seen people (and I myself have) run the 99 yard dash over and over again. What is the 99 yard dash? It’s quitting when success could have been yours had you just kept going a little longer. I learned on my journey on The Biggest Loser that I had to Lose My Quit to win at anything in life. Success often takes time.
Huey Lewis and the News suddenly hit it big in the 1980’s, and people called them an overnight success. The truth was they had been a band for 20 years at that point! They had been playing the same style of music together for a long time before hitting it big. It’s just that people often see success and don’t see all of the work that goes into it. Huey Lewis and the News got out there for 20 years and ate some dirt – over and over again – until the time was right for their move into the big show.
Winning is a dirty business
When you fail, look at it from the perspective that you ate a little dirt. The germs you ingested made you stronger for the next time you come upon an opportunity. You’ll fail a little better next time, and eventually success will be yours! You just have to get up, brush yourself off, and start all over again.
So the next time you try to avoid failure, you just might be avoiding success! Don’t let your fear of failure steer you around the experience you need to succeed. Just get out there and eat a little dirt – you’ll eventually have everything you need to win!
Each month in The Journey Training, we see people realize that they’ve been avoiding the things that they need to experience to get what they truly want. Often, what you want is just beyond what you fear most. Why not enroll in the next Threshold class and find out just how successful you can be! I promise you, literally eating dirt won’t be a part of the weekend!
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According to the dictionary, here is the definition of handicap:
Handicap [han-dee-kap] noun 1. the disadvantage or advantage itself. 2. any disadvantage that makes success more difficult: The main handicap of our business is lack of capital. 3. Sometimes Offensive. a physical or mental disability making participation in certain of the usual activities of daily living more difficult.
The picture is of my back – my actual back. No funny business, very real.
Life can throw you a curve ball
When I was 11 years old, I was told I had scoliosis. That meant nothing to me at the time. In my book Dysfunctional Inspiration, I wrote “While my life had been getting better, that scoliosis that I mentioned a while back had been getting worse. My mother took me to the doctor before school started, and he decided that the curvature in my spine needed to be dealt with ASAP. That meant I would need to wear a metal brace for the next two years—which were also my last two years of high school.
You’ve gotta be kidding! After everything I’d been through already, after all the hard work I’d put in, this was happening? What girl would ever consider going out with me? It would be like dating the tin man. How was I supposed to enjoy my last high school years? It was all too much. Sitting there in the doctor’s office, I started to cry. Not the feel-sorry-for-yourself kind, but actually more like the really, really mad kind. The kind where the tears stream off your face before they hit your chin kind. I was MAD! Partially at God. It was like, “Hey! I am doing every freaking thing I can, why can’t I get a break!?”
Not that it made a difference. My spine was curving into an “S,” which was not the proper shape for a spine. And it would only get worse. So I was fitted for what’s called a Milwaukee Brace; a contraption that kind of resembles a medieval torture device. It extended from my pelvis all the way up to my chin, and was made up of steel rods, fiberglass, and seat belt straps to hold it in place, and it would latch on the side, to hold my curve in place to keep the scoliosis from getting worse.
And yes – it was every bit as uncomfortable as it sounds. Sitting in a car was almost impossible—the seat pushed up on the brace until it would push up on my chin. I couldn’t even ride in certain cars—if they were too small, they couldn’t accommodate me. At school, sitting at my desk was also a challenge—I had to sit on the very edge of my seat with my legs tucked under the seat just to fit under the desk. Some desks had small openings that would tear my shirts getting in and out.
Of course, physical discomfort was only the tip of this particular iceberg. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you went to high school. In which case, I don’t need to tell you how cruel kids can be. And the sight of me clanging through the halls in my metal cage…well, I guess I was too tempting a target to ignore. They called me R2D2… they called me Robo-Boy…it was not a lot of fun. And it was certainly not the junior year I had envisioned for myself.
But something inside me wouldn’t let me fall apart this time. I had come so far—I had survived my mother’s drinking, my parents’ fighting and moves all over the country. I had found God, improved my grades and turned my life around. Maybe the old me would have given up and decided it was all too hard. But now I understood. I knew I had a choice. And I chose to live my life the best way I could.
Even today, I still have some physical limitations. I have endured many hours of back pain as my body and I wrestle to figure out just what those limitations are. Looking back, if I had to do it over again, and we had the means, I would have treated my scoliosis with surgery. Those muscles still grew, and grew wrapped around the bone, which makes certain things really painful, even today. However, I have adapted, and today I can almost always tell when I am about to have a muscle issue—so I go and rest so I can fight another day.”
Your ability (or disability) doesn’t define your worth
You have total control of your self-worth. When you look at a $100 bill, you don’t question how good it is based on how crumpled, messed up, torn or dirty it is. Its value is its value. One of the places I serve at is The Little Light House . There’s a quote there that I love. It says “our kids don’t have disabilities, they have different abilities.”
Test the limits, know your boundaries
Every one of us has limits. Even though as a teenager we behave like we don’t, we do have limits. (I wish I’d known this when I jumped off that 2nd story balcony with a bedsheet. I was trying to prove you could actually use it as a parachute!) Even though we do, it is important to test them. You need to know where your boundaries are. I know what I can do, and how much I can push it.
My wife hates it when I do stuff like this, but I know if I do something like this I will be fine to a point, then I need to rest. I know exactly what I can and can’t do. I can do this, but if I go golfing, then I am down for a week.
So my handicap doesn’t limit me; it just helps me view things from a different perspective.
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