You are standing at a fork in the road for the first time in your life.
On one side you see a road that you have taken a thousand times,
That leads you to your safe place or your comfort zone,
The only thing that you are used to.
But deep down, you know, that this road is not good enough for you.
This road has holes, debris and misfortune and it has always felt so wrong.
You have always dreamed to take another road, but you never had the guts.
Because that first road has a hold of you, and pieces of your heart lay there in its ruts.
You have tried so long to get away,
But the fear of the unknown keeps you afraid.
Even though the first road is eating at your soul,
There is something greater for you and this is all you know.
But you never felt worth it, to just get up and go.
You stand here at a fork in the road, you finally see another way.
Take a breath and just start walking, the choice is yours today.
Never let yourself go back to that old life
Forget your hurt and all the strife.
Leave it in the ashes, it’s not yours to carry again.
Take a step and fight for yourself, you are in it for the win.
Now, you are looking at your new path, remembering how much you have overcome.
Don’t’ forget you’re not alone, and never walk, but run.
Because, you see you’re with a God who in your battle has ALREADY won.
So, what are you waiting for?
This right here is what you have dreamed of, to be and have more.
Your crossroads will be ending; your new life will begin.
The old me, I used to be, I no longer will defend.
It’s almost time to say goodbye,
You are now a champion who left your enemy here to die.
As we go our separate ways,
My love and pride for you always stays.
Because we killed our fears together,
There is no storm that we cannot weather.
Standing at a fork in the road,
It’s your choice where to go.
Accept that you are worth it, that I truly know.
I see the gifts within you, don’t be afraid to let them show.
When you truly value you,
I promise that your dreams are soon to follow through.
Tomorrow is your destiny; don’t let it go to waste.
The victory is already yours, you can feel it, smell and taste.
You are loved and you are free.
Know your worth, and lead the way to the child of God you have been waiting to be.
Take care of you first, fill the shoes of the one that you were specifically created to be.
From the ashes, you are a Phoenix, reborn and set free.
Spread those wings and you will see,
That a life of purpose is waiting for you, after the first step of your new Journey.
It’s been 5 years since winning The Biggest Loser. I’m not perfect, but I’m still 200 pounds down from my heaviest. To sustain a 200 pound weight loss for over 5 years hasn’t been easy; in fact, it’s been a lot harder than losing it in the first place! The true battle began once I stepped off the scale as the World Champion of Weight Loss back in December of 2009.
Life can hand you challenges, and those challenges can become distractions. I’ve been handed many in the last 5 years, and at times I have failed those challenges and backslid into some old, bad habits. In fact, 2 years ago I had to make some decisions to get the train back on the right track and begin to make progress again. Will Rogers once said, “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” So how do you face those challenges and distractions, and keep yourself moving forward? It begins by managing you.
I have found that you spend the most time with one person: YOU. And that being the case, accountability begins with you! Managing yourself takes discipline and self-control, but simpler than that is it just takes a plan.
Make Some Deadlines, Create Some Expectations
For years, I managed Land Surveying crews. If I wanted something done, I’d give them a deadline. Without a deadline, we can tend to have the “there’s no rush” attitude. But when we have a deadline on something, things tend to get done! Deadlines in your life begin with goal setting. In The Journey Training, I teach goal setting by setting time specific goals. If you just set a goal without a deadline, there’s no urgency to get it done! So whatever you need to do in your life, whether it’s lose weight, find employment, sell things, or save for retirement, take the end result and break them up into smaller goals. Let’s use weight-loss as an example.
If I want to lose 50 pounds, the first thing I need to do is set a time frame. So my goal becomes lose 50 pounds in 6 months. Then I break that up into even smaller goals. My long term goal is 50 pounds in 6 months, and I now set a short term goal of losing 10 pounds in 1 month. And even further than that, I want to set a weekly goal of lose 3 pounds in 1 week. So now I have a deadline. Get on the scale in 7 days and be down 3 pounds. Without that deadline you can set for yourself, 50 pounds seems impossible. How big does 3 pounds sound? To me, it sounds do-able!
Just as you’d manage others, you’ve got to manage yourself. Set a deadline for yourself and put it out there. Tell others of your deadline. Ask them to check on you when it comes and see how you did. Do what a manager would do for his team – set a deadline and create an expectation.
Everyone has heard the phrase “risks and rewards,” and most of the time people associate it with money and riches. Please don’t get me wrong, though; it does have its place with money and riches, but that is not always the case.
Every day we have to take risks to get rewards. Some of us think “I am not a risk taker,” but that is not really accurate. Think about what your average day looks like, how many risks do you take each day to get simple rewards.
Most of the time it does not stop us, is fact most of the time we don’t think about it.
- Odds of getting hemorrhoids – 25 to 1… but we don’t stop using that part of our anatomy do we?
- Odds of getting in an transportation accident – 69 to 1, but we don’t stop driving.
- Odds of slipping in the shower – 1 in 2232, and please, PLEASE don’t stop showering.
- Odds of having an accident using fireworks – 1 in 19,556, but it does not stop most of us from blowing stuff up.
- Odds of getting hurt in an amusement park ride – 1 in 257,000, and we still do it.
Every time we step out of our house we have risk. But, we also have reward.
Everything in life has some kind of risk vs reward.
The question is, how many opportunities do we have in our lives that we choose not to step out a take a risk to achieve. Many of us live in fear, and we may not realize it, but we let it control us.
Here are 5 tips to moving forward despite risks:
- Stop and breathe. According to an article at www.livestrong.com “Why Does Deep Breathing Slow You Down?”
Deep breathing relieves stress and anxiety due to its physiological effect on the nervous system. Breathing slowly and mindfully activates the hypothalamus, connected to the pituitary gland in the brain, to send out neurohormones that inhibit stress-producing hormones and trigger a relaxation response in the body. The hypothalamus links the nervous system to the endocrine system, which secretes the hormones that regulate all activities throughout the body.
- Look at the options. Weigh out all the risks. Much of the time when we slow down and look at the options, some of the risks really are not as scary as we think.
- Write it down. Look at the reason this is a concern. Even making a positive or negative list may work. Just sit down and write it.
I once read a University of Chicago study that shows that writing down our negative thoughts or worries about an upcoming important event has a calming effect on us. The actual act of writing our thoughts down forces us to give coherence to stressful thoughts, which not only lessens the intensity of these thoughts but can even negate them. The study has shown that pressure-filled situations can deplete a part of our brain’s working memory and make us less effective to remain calm and think clearly.
- DON’T over analyze it. We can get very caught up in the “what ifs”, but if the “what ifs” take over, then you will never launch. That’s why the 1st three points are crucial. If you are over analyzing, go back and do one of 1, 2, or 3 again.
- Pull the trigger. If you have ever fired a gun, you know that when you have a gun all lined up, there is a point where you say “I’m pulling the trigger now,” and your brain releases chemicals that rush through us, and now you feel yourself pulling that trigger. This “rush” happens the second you make a solid decision to make a move.
What reward are you looking for today that you need to evaluate the risk on?
I recently performed at the finale show for Tom McCloud’s “Lose It for the Kids.” Tom lost 95 pounds in 10 months while working out with me this year, but that’s not the amazing thing! Yes, losing 95 pound in 10 months without surgery, diet pills, or some extreme plan is amazing in itself, but there’s much more to the story.
I knew Tom from a few years before when he interviewed me after winning The Biggest Loser for his magazine Community Spirit. One morning last year I was working out at Fitness Together Jenks/Riverside with Michael Watkins when Tom showed up to take some pictures of me for a monthly column that I write. When I saw him, I gently asked, “Tom, why don’t you get in here and hook up with Michael and lose some weight with me?” His answer: “Well Danny, I broke my neck a few years back and I don’t think I could.” I replied with, “Tom, that will stop you as long as you let it stop you. We can work around that.” It took a while, but he finally got inspired and gave me a call. This is where it gets exciting.
You see, Tom devised a plan. He thought, “If I’m going to do this, why not make it something BIG!” He asked me to be his workout partner, and devised “Lose It for the Kids,” so his weight-loss journey could benefit someone in need. He made a website and asked people to pledge money per pound he lost for Contact Missions, a ministry of Tulsa Neighborhood Network who recently began a campaign for outreach to kids in West Tulsa who are underserved. They tutor, mentor, and coach them, providing school programs and expanding their subsidized summer-long camps focused on building both faith and character. He began to see how his losing weight could also benefit those kids – which is a product of THINKING BIG! He raised over $50,000 for the kids, and lost almost 100 pounds to boot! Now that’s a WIN-WIN!
You see, thinking small might be just thinking of him. Why think small when you can THINK BIG? What have you got to give? Some may have money, while others may have time. Some may bring a gift like music, while others bring the gift of love and service. What do you have that can benefit others? Whatever you have, you can use it for contribution to someone else while it also accomplishes what you set out to do.
Winning The Biggest Loser has provided me with a platform I never thought I would have. I get to speak all over the world (7 countries & 45 states) to help motivate and inspire others to reach for their dreams. I am blessed to be able to pay it forward and help others in my Bootcamp here in Tulsa, where Christy C. has lost 70 pounds in 4 months and Jeff S. has lost 80 pounds. I have taken what I have and given it to others.
My friend Arthur Greeno once told me, “People want to be a part of something BIG.” I urge you to THINK BIG. What is it you can do for others while you achieve the success you have been striving for? Arthur is a part of Keith’s Ice Cold Lemonade Stand, where this summer he helped a young man named Keith, who has Cerebral Palsy, raise over $120,000 for The Little Lighthouse – simply by selling lemonade. Yes, Keith’s could have been a single lemonade stand, but Arthur chose to THINK BIG, get sponsors and volunteers, and make a BIG difference for others.
The facilitator’s of The Journey Training found freedom we could never imagine, causing our vision and lives to become MUCH BIGGER than we ever thought possible. We decided to pay if forward and create The Journey Training in Tulsa, Oklahoma. If you want to THINK BIG, why don’t you sign up for the next Threshold class at www.thejourneytraining.com? What have you got to lose – except the small thinking!
“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” ~ Zig Ziglar
I’ve learned by traveling the world as a motivational speaker that you have to know where you’re going before you can get there. When I left for The Biggest Loser in 2009, I knew two things: God gave me this opportunity, and it was my responsibility to act on it.
180 pounds was my destination – quite a long road from 430 pounds! But if I never set the destination, how I would I ever get there? There are two things you must know to navigate to your destination: Where you are and where you are going. The first step is to acknowledge where you are. If you don’t know where you are, how can you know where you want to go? You cannot heal or change what you don’t acknowledge. The second step is defining where you want to be. These destinations could be health, finance, relationship, career, any number of things. Only when you know where you are and where you are going can you then “map” a road to success. In my case, once I knew where I was going, and I had less than 7 months to get there, so I had to devise a plan for success.
Plan For Success in Health
I learned that 3,500 calories equaled a pound. I made a goal of losing of 1½ pounds per day – a 5,250 calorie deficit. If I ate 2,000 calories, I would need to burn 7,250 calories per day to reach my goal. This gave me a mark to hit – a target! Some days I would fail, some days I would succeed, and other days I would exceed the mark. The show’s nutritionist Cheryl Forberg and Trainer Jillian Michaels taught me what to eat, and Bob Harper and Jillian taught me how to burn calories – SWEAT! Then I hit GO on my GPS.
Plan For Success in Finances
This principle has helped me in areas other than losing weight. Finances are also an important area in which to plan for success. When you are in debt it can seem overwhelming. The reason I know this is because at one time Darci and I owed $62,700 of unsecured debt. Darci and I paid off that debt in just a few years – WITH A PLAN! On my YouTube channel you can see the video of Darci and me seen on Joyce Meyer describing our journey. It took a plan and self discipline to get there.
In marriage, it is wise to counsel with your fiancé and learn each other’s goals BEFORE saying I do! Then you can know where you both presently are and where you both want to go – and you can agree on plan for success in your marriage.
In whatever area you are looking to change – health, finances, marriage, parenting, any area – you must devise a plan. I urge you to find wisdom from good people who can help you such as your pastor, a counselor, or a trusted friend or support group. Those who have gone through The Journey Training have buddies and small groups to help when they need encouragement or ideas. Then you can follow a plan to focus on the future you want, not the future you just might happen upon! As Benjamin Franklin said, “If you fail to plan you are planning to fail.”
