Fear can be paralyzing and make us feel like there’s no way out. Annie Downs, a speaker and author of the book “Let’s All Be Brave”, recently delivered a message on fear. She posed this question in response to “What if?” questions of fear in our lives: “… And then what?” This really hit me because I HATE feeling STUCK and it helped remind me of so many things that I learned in The Journey Training.
I’m a planner, always have been – always will be. I remember making college plans from a young age. I thought I was destined for Harvard, Florida State, or Notre Dame. I always thought I knew what career I was going to choose – everything from Chairman of the Board or lawyer to an actress on Days of our Lives.
I pursued both medicine and nursing in college. In my mind, it didn’t matter that I’m legally blind with a left side weakened by a prenatal stroke. There were still plenty of things I could do in those fields! Well, those plans didn’t pan out. And I vividly remember when it occurred to me that I MIGHT not get an acting contract and marry one of the actors. I was devastated!
The day I got rejected from nursing school, my Dad drove up to my college to have dinner with me. He was expecting to have to pick me up off the floor. And then what? I made the choice to believe that I was going to be okay, that GOD HAD BETTER PLANS FOR ME.
I actually went to the University of Georgia for my Bachelor’s degree, the University of San Diego for my Master’s degree, and now I’m a Special Education teacher. There were a lot of steps in getting there, a lot of tears cried, and a lot of plans that changed.
Fears can stop us if we give up and let them – or we can choose to do something else instead.
Your boyfriend breaks up with you. And then what? You enjoy more time with your friends and you go meet new people.
You don’t get a job you wanted or you lose your job. And then what? You keep networking and applying for other jobs.
Your weight loss methods aren’t working as you hoped. And then what? You try something different.
We can’t completely stop fear from entering our lives, but life doesn’t have to stop when a fear is realized. We can choose to find an answer to the question, “And then what? It usually just takes one small step to begin working through the fear. I’m not saying it will be easy and we don’t have to do it alone.
No matter our circumstances, God doesn’t give up on us: “I’ve never quit loving you, and I never will. ” Jeremiah 31:3
Are you feeling stuck somewhere in your life? Do you feel like nothing is changing? Are you afraid to make a move because you don’t know what to do next? Consider enrolling in The Journey Training’s next class. There’s your first small step and to answer the question, “And then what?”
“In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” Romans 12:6 NLT
Is it better to have had and lost than to never have had at all? While you ponder that, allow me to share something that used to be a major pet peeve.
I used to get highly offended when someone would complain to me about their car being in the shop, or having to lend it to someone else. How could they possibly get around for a week with no car?
Why did this bother me? I have a visual impairment, so I can’t drive. I get around with the help of my family, friends, public transportation, and most recently, Uber. I have always had to figure out how to get from place to place, so from my perspective, a week with no car is minor. I confess that my thinking was judgmental. I have also come to respect the significance of the inconvenience. It comes down to potential.
Potential consists of latent (existing, but not developed) qualities that have the capacity to be developed. I’ve never been able to legally drive, so while the desire is within me, the capacity to do so (legally) never has existed. The potential is not there. However, the quality has been developed in those who do drive, and therefore, when a car is in the shop, they are not able to use their full mobility potential.
My potential, on the other hand, lies in the ability to get around extremely well despite my inability to drive! I am known for adventures like getting to a friend’s concert 100 miles away and back in 16 hours. I have potential to ask for help and creatively coordinate plans and rides…because it’s what I’ve always done! I have the potential to build amazing relationships from the car rides.
Are you tapping into your full potential? The Journey Training can provide you with tools to explore your potential and act on it! Don’t sit at home and mope because you don’t have a car. Drive (or ride) on over and sign up for the next class!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, help me understand that my potential is not defined by my circumstances.
Journal: What potential do I have that I am not using to the fullest?
Post/Tweet Today: Tap into your full potential! #limitless #triumph #thejourneytraining
When I am operating within my mission, it keeps me going.
How can I teach when I do not know?
Being stuck does not allow me to learn.
How can I inspire when I am stuck in a hole?
I need to keep pushing forward.
How can I serve when I am stuck?
Look at it this way; if you were a waiter, could you serve the table if you are sitting in your chair?
As a leader, it is my role to set the example for others; getting stuck is not what I choose to do. WAIT, unfortunately sometimes it does, so what do I do?
I surround myself with people that energize me.
I am not looking for those who are in a pity party; otherwise I will end up in the pit with them. If you put a crab in a bucket and it can climb out of that bucket, it will climb out. But if you put two crabs in the bucket, when one of the crabs tries to climb out, the other will pull it back in. Neither will ever escape. It doesn’t matter that it’s possible to escape, the crabs will hold each other back from doing so, that’s why its important to choose driven and like-minded people to be in the bucket with you. Thrive15.com is an “edutainment” company created to help you succeed; I choose to be surrounded by mentors that help me stay driven. I enjoy being around those that encourage me to be a better version of me. The Journey Training allows me to be around people that encourage me to pause in my life and take action on things I may be putting off.
Listen to music that uplifts me.
There are certain kinds of music that uplifts our spirit, others that supports our misery. I choose uplifting. I also listen to soundtracks from movies. I think and you think of happy things, it changes your mood.
I go for a walk
When you exercise it releases endorphins, and it puts you in a better mood. I was recently on a walk, and irritated by my own decisions. I came across this HUGEMOUNGOUS, UGLY spider. It was eating its own web. I sat there for 30 minutes. No radio, no TV, no distractions other than the occasional bird, or dog barking, and watched it. It was almost like the spider was taking up the webbing that it had made, and put in the wrong place and was eating it. I read later that spiders do that to get back the energy and protein it needs. It helped me realize that some of the decisions I made may have been wrong, but I can learn from them, and they can make me stronger.
The solution here is when you get stuck, get moving! Take action! Hiding, going to bed, addictions, watching TV, all of these are easy ways to stay in your rut, in fact they are ways to continue to stay stuck.
When you are ready to make a change, you will take action. This is one of the many reasons I am a HUGE supporter of The Journey Training. You want to get unstuck, go thru this training. I will guarantee this will help you. Why? Because you are taking action, taking a step.
Being stuck is a just that – stuck! Want to be Unstuck? Get UNSTUCK!
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Prior to coming to The Journey Training I was irritable, controlling and severely discontented; I didn’t know what I wanted but I knew something needed to change. My life was steeped in fear coupled with the incessant need to please others; yet I remained empty with no direction or end in sight. As I mentioned previously, I needed something but I didn’t know what “it” was or how to achieve it, let alone discover it. Pretty hopeless, huh? Yes, I was.
When I entered the rooms of the Journey Training, I immediately saw beautiful and handsome faces to which I concluded “surely they wouldn’t be able to relate to an ex-convict and recovering drug and sex addict.” After all, they looked so pristine and trouble free I thought, but I was soon to discover that my terminal uniqueness was soon to be replaced with a sense of brotherhood and community I had longed for my entire life: the desire to be accepted and loved for who I was, not the illusory of what I assumed others wished or wanted me to be. I was in for a rude and revolutionary awakening. One that would ultimately provide me with a wealth of information and tools to help me discover my “it” in a real and meaning way which up to this point had been elusive.
In his book A New Pair of Glasses Chuck C. provides a very simple philosophy which is reminiscent of the Journey Training, consider now, “uncover, discover, and discard.” Unbeknownst to me I had no idea what I had gotten myself into because that is exactly what I experienced during that life changing weekend. So what does that look like, you might ask? Let’s consider them one at a time, shall we?
Uncover
This is a frightening prospect for a chronic people pleaser like myself, but if I was going to begin a journey of health, wholeness and emotional sobriety this was where “it” had to begin. Imagine being in a room filled with virtual strangers, not to perform but to uncover making one’s self vulnerable, naked and exposed with no figs to cover a lifetime of hidden shame and guilt. Through clenched fists, a churning stomach and tear filled eyes, I did something I had never done before: I trusted someone other than myself with the truth of who and what I had been and it was the turning point for my personal journey had begun! Light was beginning to shine in my darkened tunnel called my mind.
Discover
On a giant poster board was the known quote by Albert Einstein which read “insanity is doing the same things while expecting different results.” During my discovery process I have added a slight adaptation to the afore mentioned quote “insanity is doing the same thing knowing full well what the results WILL BE!” Before coming into the Journey Training, it is safe to assume that I was insane. Perhaps not in the clinical sense, but emotionally imbalanced nonetheless. Journey taught me that I could not conquer what I was unwilling to face regardless of how scary it appeared. Looking back, it wasn’t what I was unwilling to face per se as it was, what I would discover once the mask(s) were removed. You see, my pain, in spite of its darkness became a comfortable companion for I had learned to manipulate, maneuver and mask the truth which kept me enclosed within a mental prison of my own making. By discovering I had the right to be myself, while forgiving myself and ultimately loving myself was a radical prospect indeed. One that was greater than the pain of my past.
Discard
King David once penned “Be still and know that I am God. (see Psalms 40:10a)” In a word “to be still” requires one to “let go” or “discard” former false systems of beliefs or perceptions. In Journey I was given a “contract” which is equivalent to receiving a new identity and purpose. Before I was dispassionate, fearful and weighed down by the guilt of my past and previous convictions. When asked how I perceived myself, I could only respond sheepishly “a jailbird.” Although I was walking in the land of the free, I was still imprisoned albeit the prison was a mental one instead of a physical one. However, by the end of the training I was smiling (genuinely) declaring: “I am a passionate free bird.” I gave myself permission to discard those old tapes which kept me defeated, discouraged and imprisoned. I was free to soar above my self-limiting perceptions.
It has been stated a journey of a thousand steps begins with one. This is not to suggest that it will be easy especially when you battle between your ears. But there is one thing that I can assure you and it is this: since that glorious weekend of uncovering, discovering and discarding, I have begun to walk in my “it,” I am a semester from receiving my college degree at 50. My marriage which at one time was on life support has begun to heal itself as I rigorously apply the tools learned in the Journey Training. The wounded boy who lived in fear has been integrated with his core self and is now living a life once previously believed impossible. And the results I lived to repeat have been traded in for the wonder of tomorrow. I am a liberated and passionate free bird. Now it’s time for you to discover your “it.”
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Starting with Chick-fil-A in 1988 as a team member at Woodland Hills Mall and owning a franchise was not something I had aspirations to do at that time. I was an art major with no business skills other than a desire to succeed. After 25 years with Chick-fil-A, one of the most valuable lessons I teach young entrepreneurs is the art of having a mentor. I speak to thousands of people per year and I always ask the question, “Who is your mentor, who is your Yoda?”
Why do we need a mentor? As a father of six and employer of over 100 employees at Chick-fil-A, I see mentorship opportunities daily. Whether it’s someone who wants to move up within my company or with aspirations to start their own business, a mentor will help guide them in the right direction and give invaluable advice. I still look to my mentors daily for guidance on running my business or advice on being a husband and father.
What does a mentor look like?
Depending on where you are in your journey, it could look a number of different ways.
For me, one of my first mentors was a gardener at an apartment complex who I met when I was growing up. As a kid, life was hard for me. I grew up with extreme scoliosis, my mother was an alcoholic and, due to a complicated divorce, my father was out of my life when I was 13 years old. He invested time in me. He took us on hikes into waterfalls spent time with us when my parents did not have the time, or they were too drunk to take us out.
When I started as a cashier at Chick-fil-A, I was not savvy in business and had no clue how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be. I shared some of my concerns with someone I respected and he suggested that I read “Dressing for Success” written in 1975 by John Malloy. I read this book and it literally changed my outlook overnight. By simply implementing the action steps found within this book, I found myself overflowing with the confidence that comes with looking your best.
I even have mentors in my life, they probably don’t even realize their mentors. I watch them from afar, admire how they do business, and move forward similar to how they do it. They would know me well enough to greet me when I walk up, but not necessarily someone that I hang out with on a regular basis. Of those, Mart Green of Hobby Lobby and Chet Cadieux of QuikTrip, and Dr. Z (Dr. Robert Zoellner) are at the top of my list.
What kind of mentor do people need in their life?
We all need a mentor who has actually achieved success in the area of life in which we are seeking wisdom. Stay away from obese trainers and disheveled-looking style consultants. Just take a moment to ask yourself, “Who is currently doing what I am wanting to do?” or “Who has already achieved what I want to achieve?”
How do I find a mentor?
It’s not as hard as you would think. A successful mentor’s time is extremely valuable; so do not waste their time. I am a true believer that if you share your dreams, opportunities will show themselves. My system for connecting with mentors is fairly simple.
Try to connect with someone and tell them you are available to meet any time, anywhere
Ask for a meeting and make sure that you are focused on creating a sustainable and mutually beneficial “win-win” relationship with your mentor.
Maybe you do need a mentor or coach. You may feel like an accountability partner will help. Clients take bigger actions, set bigger goals and think bigger when they work with a professional coach or accountability partner and The Journey Training can help you start that process.
“Who will be your Yoda?”
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Discover How To Find More Passion and Purpose In Your Life!
