Too many times in life, people focus on the HOW to get things done. Throughout the Bible, you see people questioning God about HOW they were going to accomplish something. Moses made excuses in Exodus 3 & 4 HOW he would overcome his shortcomings and the extremity of his situation. He could not fathom HOW he could go to Egypt and set the people free. He was focused on the wrong thing.
The next few articles will be focusing on the W’s, not the HOW! Yes, WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, and WHY. A friend of mine once told me, ‘When the intent (why) becomes clear, the mechanism (how) appears!” Until you decide to do something, and the decision to do something is bigger than the reasons not to do something, the HOW will stop you in your tracks!
Today, I start with an important question: What is your WHY?
During a recent SLI Bootcamp, I asked a trainee, “What is your WHY?” He didn’t know what I was talking about!
When I was 460 pounds, the reasons NOT to lose weight outweighed the reasons TO lose weight. I was stuck! What was the benefit I got from being 460 pounds you ask? Well, I got to eat anything I wanted! I never had to sweat and work hard! I got to take it easy and relax. Then one day, everything changed. My daughter walked in and said, “Daddy, you are my hero!” I felt great!
Then she said. “I want to be just like you when I grown up! I want a belly just like yours.” I was mortified! How could I sit on the couch eating food when my daughter’s very life was at stake! Not just mine, but my entire family! That was an awakening! That was the day I found my WHY.
I was angry. Yes, ANGRY! Anger is a God given emotion. It isn’t bad. What you do with it is what counts! Rage is a bad way to handle anger. Motivation is a great way to handle it. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “What is wrong with you? If she wanted to be like you, then you had better be what you want her to be!” I then saw the type of role model I was being to my family. Everything changed.
Did I immediately lose the weight? Nope. But I did begin the long process of dealing with my issues and finding my journey to lose weight! It could have been anything, but it was The Biggest Loser.
What is your WHY?
What has God called you to be, and what excuses are you making to not be it? With Moses, he was a sheep herder, not of eloquent speech, and they surely wouldn’t believe him! He was focused on HOW he was going to set them free. Not on WHO God had created him to be, and most of all, his WHY!
Step one: WHAT IS YOUR WHY?
We tend to find exactly what we are looking for. If we expect negativity, we tend to find it. If we are searching for a great experience, we often find that as well. Let me give you an example from my own life.
A long time ago I was convinced that a guy at the Chick-fil-A Home Office had it in for me. He would often call me and ask difficult questions about my store that I didn’t have answers for and then took days to return phone calls when I left messages. It all left me frustrated and I began to feel like he was trying to get rid of me. Once there was a former operator who came by my store to see me. The guy at the home office found out about this visit and grilled me about it. My frustration level grew to a whole new level and I told him that if he didn’t think I was up to being an Operator, he should come get my keys (not a wise thing to say on my part but, “Whew!” I am still here).
Here is a different way that I could have chosen to view the situation:
A long time ago there was this guy who worked at the Chick-fil-A Home Office who really cared about and looked out for me. He often called to ask me questions that would force me to stretch and grow in my thinking. It wasn’t always pleasant, but if you don’t know what you don’t know, then you can’t become better, right? Sometimes when I would call him back to get his perspective on something, he would take time to think it over before calling me back. That way he could give me the best possible feedback. On one occasion I had a former operator come to visit me and talk to me about the business. I told the guy at the home office about the visit and he warned me that even though the visit seemed like nothing, it might turn out to have negative consequences and that I might want to shy away from encounters like that. At first it made me threatened as a leader, but I later came to understand the heart behind his advice and chose to appreciate where he was coming from. I grew to be thankful for my corporate office ally.
Do you see the difference in these two stories?
The difference is me. The difference is in the way I chose to look for, in the way I chose to see the situation.
We cannot control everything that happens to us. But we CAN chose how we react to it. We CAN choose how we want to frame it and what we decide that it all means. These choices can literally change everything about the outcome, but it will ALWAYS change something within us.
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Here’s your homework for this week:
Make a conscious choice to look at every situation you encounter in the next week in a positive light. Then come back here and let us know how it went.
“It’s like I’m speaking dog.”
~Keith Boyd
Do you ever feel like you are just sitting still?
Do you feel like you NEVER get the opportunities you want? Or that things always happen for other people but not for you?
Right now I am working on a project. I am working with Keith Boyd. You see, Keith wanted to have the biggest lemonade stand in Tulsa, and for the last 2 summers he has run a lemonade stand, giving a portion of the money to The Little Light House. Instead of sitting there and watching the world go by, he took action. He knew what he wanted and he took steps to get it. And he didn’t give up when he hit roadblocks. At first, his idea to raise money was for his family to put on a play. Keith envisioned renting out the Bank of Oklahoma Center for hundreds of people coming to see the fundraiser show. Although Keith’s dreams for the fundraiser were big, he was told he needed to figure out a different way. So he did. He didn’t give up.
He went back to the drawing board and settled on a lemonade stand.
There are some fascinating statistics on this:
- 44% of people give up after one “no”
- 22% give up after two “nos”
- 14% give up after three “nos”
- 12% give up after four “nos”
Keith performed better than 44% of most people.
Two years later Keith joined with me to create the largest stand in Tulsa. Actually, it is 10 separate stands and we certainly move the most lemonade through it. Keith reached his goal.
Keith worked hard, didn’t quit, and out-performed 44% of people. That on its own is impressive, but let me tell you a little more about Keith.
Keith is 10 years old.
Keith has cerebral palsy.
Keith cannot use his hands.
Keith cannot use his feet.
Keith cannot speak.
He uses his eyes to communicate. He told me once when he is communicating without his computer, it takes him about 10 times on average to communicate the message he wants to get out. He says “It’s like I am speaking dog, and they do not speak dog! But its ok, I know it’s frustrating to them as well.”
If you want to reach your dreams in life, don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to try again when you hit a roadblock. If you try it 5 times or more, you will be in the top 8% of achievers. Don’t give up! Keep on going! Dreams are yours to reach out and grab. And when you’re feeling discouraged and tempted to quit, just look at Keith.
To learn more about Keith and what he is doing click here.
I’ve heard people say, “Where is my ministry?” or “I don’t understand why God doesn’t use me more.” Many people try to build a platform to minister from and become frustrated. Maybe they’re missing it. Let me explain.
This is simply a perspective moment.
In The Journey Training we talk about seeing a different perspective of your situation. You may have a blind spot that is keeping you stuck.
Matthew 25:23 says, “You have been faithful with few things; I will put you in charge of many things.” Are you meant to pastor a church? Maybe. Where do you start? You start exactly where you are; you simply take a step and, in turn, take responsibility.
I needed to pay a house payment and had no work. I was worried. I thought, “How will I make this payment?” Then and idea came to me. People had often asked me if I trained people. I guess when you lose 239 pounds and keep it off, other people want that, too. I decided to begin a bootcamp here in town. I called it “Simply Lose It”, which is the name of a health program I am releasing this year on QVC. Twelve people signed up, and I was able to make that payment! In turn, I had a responsibility – to those twelve people.
Simply Lose it is in its fourth session, and I see something happening. I am caring for people; helping them progress physically, and also spiritually. I speak encouragement to them! I am seeing them succeed. Let me share a message from one of my participants just two weeks in: “Thanks for sharing the talk at the end; I cannot express my appreciation enough for you doing this bootcamp. You have changed my life probably more than you will ever know. I will never go back to the fat, lazy, unhappy person I was just a few weeks ago. THANK YOU SO MUCH!”
You see, God has given me my Bootcamp, and the people in it. I have changed my perspective to see it is a ministry. Not a church. Not a lucrative business. (YET!) But God has entrusted me with a few dozen very special people, and I will be as faithful to them as I can.
Maybe you need to change your perspective and see that your ministry is exactly where you are.
It’s where you work, where you play, in your home, and it’s the next person you meet. If you are “faithful with few things,” you’ll end up stepping into many. You’ll find the answer to “Where is my ministry?” And you won’t be trying so hard to build that platform. It will just kind of build itself!
Simply Lose It Bootcamp is run by Danny Cahill.
- When: Monday – Thursday & Saturday (Generally 5 weekly sessions)
- Cost: $99 per month for up to 3 weekly sessions, or $119 for unlimited
- Where: Fitness Together 97th & Riverside, Fitness Together Downtown Tulsa, Outside at several different Broken Arrow, Tulsa, and Bixby parks.
- Info: Email Danny@TheDannyCahill.com
“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” ~ Zig Ziglar
I’ve learned by traveling the world as a motivational speaker that you have to know where you’re going before you can get there. When I left for The Biggest Loser in 2009, I knew two things: God gave me this opportunity, and it was my responsibility to act on it.
180 pounds was my destination – quite a long road from 430 pounds! But if I never set the destination, how I would I ever get there? There are two things you must know to navigate to your destination: Where you are and where you are going. The first step is to acknowledge where you are. If you don’t know where you are, how can you know where you want to go? You cannot heal or change what you don’t acknowledge. The second step is defining where you want to be. These destinations could be health, finance, relationship, career, any number of things. Only when you know where you are and where you are going can you then “map” a road to success. In my case, once I knew where I was going, and I had less than 7 months to get there, so I had to devise a plan for success.
Plan For Success in Health
I learned that 3,500 calories equaled a pound. I made a goal of losing of 1½ pounds per day – a 5,250 calorie deficit. If I ate 2,000 calories, I would need to burn 7,250 calories per day to reach my goal. This gave me a mark to hit – a target! Some days I would fail, some days I would succeed, and other days I would exceed the mark. The show’s nutritionist Cheryl Forberg and Trainer Jillian Michaels taught me what to eat, and Bob Harper and Jillian taught me how to burn calories – SWEAT! Then I hit GO on my GPS.
Plan For Success in Finances
This principle has helped me in areas other than losing weight. Finances are also an important area in which to plan for success. When you are in debt it can seem overwhelming. The reason I know this is because at one time Darci and I owed $62,700 of unsecured debt. Darci and I paid off that debt in just a few years – WITH A PLAN! On my YouTube channel you can see the video of Darci and me seen on Joyce Meyer describing our journey. It took a plan and self discipline to get there.
In marriage, it is wise to counsel with your fiancé and learn each other’s goals BEFORE saying I do! Then you can know where you both presently are and where you both want to go – and you can agree on plan for success in your marriage.
In whatever area you are looking to change – health, finances, marriage, parenting, any area – you must devise a plan. I urge you to find wisdom from good people who can help you such as your pastor, a counselor, or a trusted friend or support group. Those who have gone through The Journey Training have buddies and small groups to help when they need encouragement or ideas. Then you can follow a plan to focus on the future you want, not the future you just might happen upon! As Benjamin Franklin said, “If you fail to plan you are planning to fail.”
When I was growing up, I made a decision to change my life, to live for God and try to live as a Christian did. I started watching who I hung around with, and what I let influence my life. When I was in my mid 20s I started playing paintball. There is something thrilling about running around in the forest with guys shooting at you! This was something I did on a regular basis, and eventually I wanted to play tournaments. I wanted to win, so I joined a team that was really, really good.
Why Did I Say That?
But on this team, my teammates and I did not hold the same values. I started to notice over time that the words I chose to use were more and more colorful. I was not using them because I was mad and it was an “accident.” I was using them because they were convenient and familiar. I used these words because the people around me used them. I never once stopped to ask myself, “Why did I say that?” My wife noticed this growing habit as well. She told me once, “In the heat of battle you seem to be cussing a lot.”
Eventually, my wife’s words convicted me and I apologized to her. I then had to make the tough decision to find a new team that better reflected my beliefs and character. This new team did not win as many games, but it was far better for my both my character and my soul.
If you ever find yourself asking “Why did I say that?”, take a look at the people you spend time with. If so, it may be time for you to make some changes as well.
By the way, my new team and I eventually got better, and actually ended up beating my original team.
