It was 5 days before Christmas. I decided to brave TJ Maxx HomeGoods for the last of my shopping. Two hours later, I’m in the rather long checkout line. Ten registers, one queue line, an aisle of impulse buys behind that, and the line was beginning to pour over into another new line. A few spots behind me, there was a man holding a rather large box. The ladies directly behind me offered to get him a buggy. What’s a buggy you ask? It’s that thing you push that many people call a cart. The man declined the buggy and continued to wait and hold his box. A few minutes later I looked back and he was gone. I don’t know his story or why he left, but I know that before I went through The Journey Training, I also often held onto too much stuff when I should’ve gotten a buggy.
I’ve always had a hard time accepting help. Just because I had a prenatal stroke which weakened my left side and also made me legally blind, I didn’t want to be perceived as weak. I was bullied enough as a child that I told myself stories that everyone thought I was weak. In my mind, I should carry the same bulky and heavy boxes anyone else does and be trusted with the same amount of fragile material…despite all of my falls. I had to accept that other people have to drive me, but I’m perfectly capable of carrying a week’s worth of groceries in and out of the car by myself.
When I attended my first Journey Training class, I began to see areas of my life that were weighing me down. The Threshold weekend showed me how much I needed to put in a buggy. The next weekend, Crossroads, helped me grab a buggy and actually use it. I felt lighter than ever before! The third class, Launch, showed me how important the buggy is to fulfilling my life’s purpose.
If you’re weighed down, maybe The Journey Training is your buggy! The next class is just around the corner! Grab a buggy and lighten your load!
“My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:30
Today I was at a breakfast potluck and there were doughnuts and they looked amazing. Because of a food allergy, I wasn’t able to eat one but my friend was so excited to get hers. She talked about it a lot. Granted she’s been on allergy elimination diets for a while and she hadn’t had a doughnut in months but she was making it a big deal. Taking pictures of the doughnut, sending said pictures to other people, taking pictures of the leftover sprinkles, mmm-ing and ahh-ing. Basically, she was making me jealous.
So what do I do? I go home and pull a doughnut that is safe for my food allergies out of the freezer. But no, that’s not good enough. I make homemade frosting to put on it. Still not good enough. I didn’t have sprinkles, so I put decorator sugar on top. And now, I am feeling like I overdid it.
How often does this play out in our lives? We see something someone else has and we start to compare. We can’t just keep it simple, we have to outdo the other people in our lives. The “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality. If our neighbor gets a 60-inch television, we want 70-inch television. Bigger, better, newer!
What does all that get us? NOTHING!
During the recent Christmas season, it’s so easy to get caught up in the giving and getting of gifts that we forget to appreciate all the blessings we already have. The busyness of the holiday can often detract from the true reasons for the season. Between shopping, wrapping, sending, cooking, decorating, and visiting, on top of the regular to do lists that are already so long, we don’t have a minute to pause and reflect on what we already have and the greatest gift of all.
So please remember that your doughnut does not have to be as spectacular as your friend’s. The sprinkles don’t have to be perfectly arranged, and the frosting can be lopsided. The King of Kings has already deemed it, and you, priceless.
If we are constantly reaching for more, we will never appreciate what we already have. The secret is wanting what you have, not getting what you want. The attitude of gratitude is the key to living a balanced life. Slow down, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about the things you are grateful for.
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Take some time in this new year to really think and do something different. Enroll now in The Journey Training. The first class for this year is just days away!
“Letting go” seems to be a topic that we frequently hear but rarely grasp. At least that was the case for me, until I had no other options than to completely surrender my life. I was always the kid that had big dreams, big plans and big ideas. I refused to let anyone or anything stand in the way of them. I held on so tightly to the life that I “thought” I wanted, that I was unable to allow what God wanted to flow freely into my existence. In a very short period of a year and a half, every possible thing that I could imagine, went wrong. In that period of time I had 8 close friends pass away, I went through the worst break up of my life, I suffered from severe panic attacks, I had $2,800.00 dollars stolen from me, I had my family completely fall apart, I was abandoned and betrayed by the people closest to me, and I had extreme health complications where I genuinely did not know that I was going to survive. This all came to a head while I was working a six month contract at Disney World… the happiest place on earth right? HA!
For the first time in my life I was completely speechless and alone… or so I thought. There was a day in time while in Orlando when I was driving down the highway and I had a complete mental and emotional breakdown. As this was happening, on the regular, secular radio, a song began to play, entitled “It Is Well” by Bethel Music. I had never heard this song before in my life. In this moment in time, it was as if the hand of God reached down into my car and spoke this song to my soul. This moment and this song, forever changed my life. The bridge of the song says “Let go my soul and trust in him, the waves and wind still know his name.” That phrase “Let go my soul” stuck with me, and began to be a theme of my life. When I would get depressed or lonely, instead of sitting in my self-pity, I would journal, read books and pray for the first time in my life. I embraced the act of surrender. Sometimes your house has to fall apart in order for you to rebuild it with a better foundation. I came to the place in my life where I had no choice other than to let go.
Learning to let go and trust that even the waves and wind in your life know the name of God is a powerful, freeing experience. We so often get locked on what our expectations or plans are. In doing so, we are unable to allow a better, more beautiful life to flow freely to us. This theme has not only continued in my life but opened up opportunities and dreams that I never imagined. Learning to surrender has become a part of my purpose. Letting go and finding your purpose through surrender has become something that I am so passionate about that I even wrote an entire book on the same subject, with the same title as the Spoken Word below. For a young man who dealt with severe control issues, codependency, addiction and self-destructive tendencies, it is ironic and sentimental to see how quickly your life can take a new better direction, when you let go of your expectations of self and others and place your trust simply in the creator of the universe.
I wrote this spoken word originally in my personal journal. During that time I never expected to share it with anyone. Often times God’s “plans” are a little different than ours, right? My book “Let Go My Soul” should be released sometime in 2017. That is a completely unexpected dream that fell into my life, which never would have happened if not for the blessing of my trials.
I went through The Journey Training before that season of my life even took place. Although I still had a lot of growing to do between me and God; the growth, acceptance and awareness that I gained at The Journey Training pointed me in the right direction to handle this season of life and to learn what “taking care of myself first” actually looked like.
I hope you all gain something from knowing a little bit about my story. I pray that through this Spoken Word you are inspired, refreshed and find some freedom through the act of letting go. A great way to begin fighting for your freedom is through The Journey Training. In that training, lives are changed, connections are made, awareness is activated and purpose is redeemed, all through a simple choice to play hard and trust the process.
God bless and go be a light to the world!
I am a courageous and inspirational leader, and man after God’s own heart. My purpose is to inspire the hopeless to find purpose in their struggles, through my story.
People all over the country debate politics, religion, and morality. My friends? We debate over the location of a bathroom.
Four years ago, two friends and I were at the Rose and Crown Tavern when one asked the other where the bathroom was. The other friend said, “It’s in the back corner.” The one came back from the bathroom and insisted that the bathroom was NOT in the corner. This was debated for the rest of the meal.
Four years to the day later (thanks to Facebook’s on this day feature), the three of us returned to the Rose and Crown, or as we know it, the place where the bathroom is or is not in the corner. We were seated at a table with a straight view to the bathroom. Perfect!
Despite the noise of a tavern, on a Thursday night with Karaoke, the debate produced a healthy discourse. One of my friends said something that I thought was “being right is your perspective.” What she actually said was, “reality is your perspective.” Either way, WOW! Now the bathroom issue is getting somewhere.
Much of our reality, how we experience the world, is viewed only from our own personal perspective. One person may go to a corner bathroom. Another person may go to that same bathroom, but see the hallway that’s 6 feet from the corner as a part of the bathroom, and therefore, it’s not in the corner.
I’m going to go THERE and bring up politics – a very relevant experience of perspective.
You and I could watch the same channel playing the same speech, but our convictions, views, and experiences lead us to very different perspectives. Our reality of that speech can be very different.
“Being right is about your perspective.” Part of what made the bathroom debate last 4 years is the need to be right. Sometimes, we feel like we just have to be right about something and we just can’t allow ourselves to believe that what the other person is saying can possibly be right. We turn simple discussions into competitions where there has to be a winner. That means someone also has to be a loser. Is that really what we want?
In The Journey Training, participants learn to change their “I’m right!” perspective to “I acknowledge your position. This is my position…” This language and perspective change fosters healthy communication with active listening.
What was my position on the bathroom issue you ask? I see BOTH perspectives. The restroom hallway is not in the corner, but the door to the ladies room is in the corner! Just call me Switzerland!
Listen patiently. Listen attentively. There’s nothing frustrating like having a thought or ideas and having the listener ignore you or maybe not quite “connected.” Listen to what they have to say. Don’t be in a hurry to make excuses. Listen first. This sets the stage for turning the conversation more productive. Frustration can also be on your end later. How many times have you been frustrated at not getting all the information and realize, you were the one that didn’t effectively listen to all the facts? Listen patiently. Listen attentively.
Apologize.
Apologize for what happened. Don’t take it personally. It’s not likely something you did directly, but apologize anyway. More often than not, the listener needs to hear you recognizing what happened and to take responsibility. “I am so sorry!”
Solve.
The next step is to actually solve the problem. That’s the least we can do. Create a systematic solution in a creative and loving way. Did you offend the listener? What could you do differently in future conversations? How can you make the interaction better and create a better understanding for the next time you need to have a crucial conversation? Most of the time the listener wants… wait for it… to be heard and apologized to (“Listen” and “Apologize.) No excuses. Listen. Apologize. Then solve the problem, going the extra mile whenever possible.
Thank.
Thank them? Absolutely. Many times a listener will not say anything further to us, but if they bring something negative to our attention, that is an opportunity for us to get better at serving them. Yes, I said serving.
Proverbs 15: 31-33
“If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Fear of the Lord teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor.”
We should always be serving others with understanding. That alone deserves a “thank you!” That heartfelt gratitude on our part may be all it takes to turn them from frustration to acceptance and appreciation.
My wife, Noell, says a phrase all the time: “Would you rather be right or happy, because you can’t always be both!” We even have an exercise at The Journey Training about being right or happy.
