For much of my life I thought to win I had to go wire to wire. What does that mean? I used to play the horses quite a bit before giving up gambling, and it simply means a horse takes the lead out of the gate and never loses it, winning the race and never being behind. I’ve learned throughout life that things often work out a little different than I thought. Hanging in there can pay off!
It’s a long road, so hang in there
In our book Losing Big, Darci and I revisit our relationship and its ups and downs from the start. So many who know us were surprised to read our book, finding out just how close we were to getting a divorce.
“I never knew anything was ever wrong!” I hear that a lot. Or “I can’t believe you guys went through so much!” Well, we did, and we both hung in there – and it paid off. In the book, I remember a few times when I sensed problems before our marriage, and I almost called the wedding off. Darci remembered the emotional abuse she endured, so much so that she almost left me. We both remembered our addictions and how they were what ran our lives for a number of years, causing us both to almost throw in the towel on each other. But we didn’t. We may have lost a few battles, but we refused to lose the war. We were hanging in there. And it paid off.
We hung in there, and we did the impossible
Before the Revolutionary War, the British Army was the most revered in the world. There was absolutely no way we could possibly win our independence from Britain. Yet we did. General George Washington was a great man, but few know that he lost many more battles than he won. While I read His Excellency by Joseph Ellis, I learned so much about George Washington, and so much about the revolutionary war. There was much that was left to chance, but for those chances to come around, the American Army had to hang in there.
It was by hanging in there and not giving up that we had a chance to win the war. George Washington pondered the choices he had often, and one was an all or nothing battle with Britain. He opted against that, a choice that led to hanging in there long enough to be able to take advantage of a harsh winter the British weren’t used to. We hung in there long enough to use warfare learned from the Indians that help us defeat the greatest army on earth. And we hung in there long enough for the French to finally show up and help turn the tide of the war for good, insuring the creation of this great nation!
When the going gets tough, the tough hang in there!
My mantra during The Biggest Loser was “Lose Your Quit!” It just means never give up. Hang in there until the end. And that’s what I did.
When we went to the Biggest Loser Ranch, Rudy weighed in at 442 and I weighed in at 430 pounds. At the week 4 weigh-in Rudy, Rudy weighed 5 pounds less than I did. In the past, I might have given up, but I hung in there. Rudy was the rabbit, and I was the tortoise. I was hanging in there!
So many times before in my life, I ran the 99-yard dash. Yes, I said the 99-yard dash – quitting when things got hard or seemed impossible, when in fact victory was just around the corner! So many times if I’d kept going, I would have realized my dreams; but I would give up. Well, at 39 years old, I decided to hang in there – and I eventually beat Rudy to set my own records on The Biggest Loser!
Just hang in there – opportunity will come, so be ready!
In The Journey Training, I often see people come in looking ready to give up. Maybe it was tough times or an illness or maybe simple frustration. By the end of the training, as long as they hang in there and finish, they are ready to run that 100-yard dash for the first time in years – or perhaps the first time ever! I’ve heard it said that you get what you prepare for. But I’ve also found that if you just hang on – even when you lose a few battles – opportunity will rear its head. And when it does, those that are hanging in there will cross the goal line and score the winning touchdown! Trust me – I know!
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As a person with low vision and poor balance, I’ve heard my whole life, “Watch your step.” My family and friends don’t want me to trip on a curb, uneven step, or my own two feet! Even with the warning, I sometimes still fall. I pick myself up, collect anything that went flying, and move on. It was just a curb, no big deal; the knees are used to it.
On the occasion that I fall down the stairs, however, I’m not as quick to bounce back. I usually end up hobbling on a twisted ankle for days.
One step at a time
When using a GPS, we need to know the destination. While we may like to be aware of the next few steps, we can’t skip steps. When building a house, you can’t put up the walls until you lay the foundation.
Since taking the leap of faith to leave my job, I’ve had the privilege of networking with some incredible people. Each person I meet leads to another opportunity or lead. With each meeting comes quality conversation, new ideas, confirmations, convictions, and valuable relationships.
Overcoming a misstep is a lot easier than overcoming a giant tumble.
Most of the time when I trip, I don’t know the step is there, or I don’t have time to process the warning. If I know I’m going to fall, I will be afraid and will question taking the step.
One of the interviews that was offered to me came with a whole stairway of questions in my mind. Is it feasible to start immediately? Will I move? When will I move? What about this obligation or that obligation? All of these issues were raised in a matter of moments of accepting the interview! I felt so overwhelmed, I fell UP the stairs! I had to stop, allow God to hold my hand, and just go to the interview. After all, that was the only guaranteed step.
“Be aware of your surroundings.”
Yet another phrase I’ve heard most of my life that holds a lot of truth: be aware of your surroundings. When a driver is courageous enough to let me navigate,
I have to pay extra close attention to where we are. Walking by myself or crossing a street requires my entire focus. I can’t get distracted…it never ends well. In the same way if all I think about in an interview is everything that is coming afterwards, I won’t interview well. I have to stay present and aware.
“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”
Like Neil Armstrong, The Journey Training likes to dream big! To make the giant leap to our dreams, we have to take small steps. If your dream is financial freedom, you have to start by writing down your income and expenses. If you want to lose 50 pounds, you can break it down into steps of a few pounds at a time. If you want an awesome job, you have to start with a search!
Where does your stairway lead? What’s your first step? You’re next step?
In the Journey Training, it is amazing what happens in each class. The people that end up in the room together always seem to offer exactly the perspective needed by the class to choose each of their next steps. Alison, and all the graduates of The Journey Training are proof of this. Through their very real struggles and life lessons, the rest of the class learns valuable perspectives of their own lives, allowing them to choose the next step for them with a little more insight. Watching your step can become a lot easier when you have a little perspective. Who knows? Maybe the very next threshold class is your next step!
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You may have seen a report recently about two climbers, Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson, who became the first to successfully free climb the “Dawn Wall” route of Yosemite’s El Capitan face. January 14, 2015 marked the end of a 19 day trek up the sheer rock face that placed them in the record books.
Seven years of planning and a lifetime of practice in completing other complex free climbs prepared this duo for achieving what many, including themselves, considered an impossible feat.
The climb took them up a path that traveled back and forth and even downward at times as they headed toward the summit. In preparation, they spent countless hours rappelling down the face of the rock to map even the smallest cracks or ledges that they could utilize to make their way to the summit. Each successful foothold or handhold represented movement toward their ultimate goal.
Aided only by safety ropes should they slip and fall, which they did multiple times (Jorgeson fell 11 times on just one section of the climb), they successfully completed each of the 32 sections or pitches before moving to the next.
At the end of each days climbing, they rested on a “portaledge,” a temporary horizontal surface with a rainfly, and suspended themselves from the face of the wall in order to get some much needed rest from the physical demands of free climbing. Every few days, supplies were delivered to the climbers by their friends on the ground who were acting as their support team.
How can you apply their achievement to your life? Are you wanting to reach a goal, quit a bad habit, or overcome an addiction?
Look at the lessons below and apply them to your situation:
Size up your challenge and plan appropriately. Lack of planning in a free climb may spell death. Fortunately, lack of planning to reach your goal or make a life change is rarely life threatening, however it can certainly result in setbacks in your attempt at change. Minimize your potential for setbacks with planning that is appropriate in complexity to the challenge at hand.
Imagine your own rock wall you need to traverse. The bottom represents where you are today, the summit – where you want to be, and the wall between the bottom and the summit are the challenges, behaviors, temptations, and old habits you’ll have to overcome to reach your goal.
• Between you and success are potential opportunities to fail or succeed.
You’ve studied your behavior patterns and have identified the potential areas that you might sabotage yourself or just make a mistake and experience temporary failure.
• Every forward step matters, even if it is a small one.
Just like the climbers, a minute ledge or foothold may be all you need to keep moving toward your goal. You may feel like some of the steps you take don’t matter, but you’d be wrong. Every step in the right direction takes you toward your new goals, so celebrate each and every one of them!
What is one small step you can take toward overcoming your old ways?
• The path usually isn’t straight and it’s not going to be easy.
Remember the saying, “the shortest path between two point is a straight line?” That may be mathematically accurate, but it is rarely the case when making life changes or achieving a goal. Just like Jorgeson and Caldwell, the path for your success will undoubtedly take you sideways and possibly backwards at times. Mapping your path ahead of time helps you keep your focus and not lose heart when you don’t “feel” like you are making progress or it appears to others that you are losing ground.
Keep in mind, even when Jorgeson or Caldwell fell, they didn’t fall all the way back to the starting point. Slipping when you reach for a crack to hold onto or when you place your foot on a small ledge doesn’t mean you’ve failed with a capital “F”, it merely means you’ve experienced a momentary setback and have an opportunity to learn how to better identify your next small step and try again for success. Successful people know that they learn as much or more from their “failures” as they do from their successes. As Arthur Greeno, a Journey Training facilitator states, “Failure is always an option. But so is Success.”
What “failures” have you experienced in the past? Did you learn from them or treat them with a capital “F” and give up? What lessons can you learn from your past setbacks that can empower and energize you toward future successes?
• Have an accountability partner and support team.
Any task that we can reach by ourselves probably isn’t stretching us much and causes us to live in comfortable mediocrity. Reach for a larger goal or develop better lifestyle choices that require you to enlist the help of others. The help may come in the form of a mentor, coach, or accountability partner. The key to remember here is that you can’t achieve great things in life alone. Everyone needs support in some form or fashion.
Even Jorgeson and Caldwell had each other and a National Geographic Camera crew for accountability and encouragement. Add to that, their family and friends were there to provide assistance and supplies when needed.
Who are your accountability partners to help keep you keep on track? Who do you have around you to provide encouragement? Who do you have to help sustain you during long treks in your journey?
It is worth it.
So why endure all of the planning, frustration, setbacks, vulnerability, and reliance on others? Because it’s worth it! You are worth it! It’s worth all of this for you to become a better you and to help you in your pursuit in overcoming “impossible” obstacles. When you become a better you, then you can help others better themselves.
For more information on Kevin Jorgeson and Tommy Caldwell’s climb of the “Dawn Wall” of Yosemite National Park’s El Capitan rock, see the links below.
I recently performed at the finale show for Tom McCloud’s “Lose It for the Kids.” Tom lost 95 pounds in 10 months while working out with me this year, but that’s not the amazing thing! Yes, losing 95 pound in 10 months without surgery, diet pills, or some extreme plan is amazing in itself, but there’s much more to the story.
I knew Tom from a few years before when he interviewed me after winning The Biggest Loser for his magazine Community Spirit. One morning last year I was working out at Fitness Together Jenks/Riverside with Michael Watkins when Tom showed up to take some pictures of me for a monthly column that I write. When I saw him, I gently asked, “Tom, why don’t you get in here and hook up with Michael and lose some weight with me?” His answer: “Well Danny, I broke my neck a few years back and I don’t think I could.” I replied with, “Tom, that will stop you as long as you let it stop you. We can work around that.” It took a while, but he finally got inspired and gave me a call. This is where it gets exciting.
You see, Tom devised a plan. He thought, “If I’m going to do this, why not make it something BIG!” He asked me to be his workout partner, and devised “Lose It for the Kids,” so his weight-loss journey could benefit someone in need. He made a website and asked people to pledge money per pound he lost for Contact Missions, a ministry of Tulsa Neighborhood Network who recently began a campaign for outreach to kids in West Tulsa who are underserved. They tutor, mentor, and coach them, providing school programs and expanding their subsidized summer-long camps focused on building both faith and character. He began to see how his losing weight could also benefit those kids – which is a product of THINKING BIG! He raised over $50,000 for the kids, and lost almost 100 pounds to boot! Now that’s a WIN-WIN!
You see, thinking small might be just thinking of him. Why think small when you can THINK BIG? What have you got to give? Some may have money, while others may have time. Some may bring a gift like music, while others bring the gift of love and service. What do you have that can benefit others? Whatever you have, you can use it for contribution to someone else while it also accomplishes what you set out to do.
Winning The Biggest Loser has provided me with a platform I never thought I would have. I get to speak all over the world (7 countries & 45 states) to help motivate and inspire others to reach for their dreams. I am blessed to be able to pay it forward and help others in my Bootcamp here in Tulsa, where Christy C. has lost 70 pounds in 4 months and Jeff S. has lost 80 pounds. I have taken what I have and given it to others.
My friend Arthur Greeno once told me, “People want to be a part of something BIG.” I urge you to THINK BIG. What is it you can do for others while you achieve the success you have been striving for? Arthur is a part of Keith’s Ice Cold Lemonade Stand, where this summer he helped a young man named Keith, who has Cerebral Palsy, raise over $120,000 for The Little Lighthouse – simply by selling lemonade. Yes, Keith’s could have been a single lemonade stand, but Arthur chose to THINK BIG, get sponsors and volunteers, and make a BIG difference for others.
The facilitator’s of The Journey Training found freedom we could never imagine, causing our vision and lives to become MUCH BIGGER than we ever thought possible. We decided to pay if forward and create The Journey Training in Tulsa, Oklahoma. If you want to THINK BIG, why don’t you sign up for the next Threshold class at www.thejourneytraining.com? What have you got to lose – except the small thinking!
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In review, we’ve talked about your WHY, your WHO, and your WHAT. I want you to grasp tightly to the reasons WHY you are doing something. If you have a WHY, then the work isn’t just work – it has purpose! Also, you can’t be all you can be alone – you need some WHO’s in your life to teach you, support you, and help you! Also, you need to know exactly WHAT it is you want or you will just be chasing the wind!
Today, let’s talk about your WHEN. I often hear people say, “When we have enough money, we’ll get married.” I’ve got news for them – that hardly ever happens! Why would you let your net-worth affect the date you begin spending your life with the one you love? I also hear, “I’ll start my diet on Monday – after I eat this cheeseburger.” Tomorrow never comes and you’re just wasting time. If you could get exactly what you want, why would you put it off? You’re robbing yourself of time with what you want!
Your WHEN happens when you decide to take the first step. It’s not when you stand on the scale and hit your goal weight! It’s when you make a decision to change. It’s not when you pay the last debt payment! It’s when you cut up the cards and start paying more than the minimum payment. The length of the journey is not what is important – it’s the journey itself. The size of the step isn’t important, either. It’s simply taking one – one single step that begins a new direction, bringing you closer to where you eventually want to be! This can be with any goal; diet, business, relationship, or spiritual goal!
Too many times we are waiting for the right time, or the right place, or the right economy, or something else to begin our journey. Does what you want depend on external situations? If so, change your mind about that! Here are a few facts for you to consider:
Proctor & Gamble was started during the Panic of 1837, the greatest economic decline since the birth of the country! Proctor & Gamble’s revenue in 2013 was $84.17 Billion.
The three founding companies that merged in 1911 to form IBM, all were founded during the Long Depression of 1873-1896.
General Electric was born during the Panic of 1873 which shut down the NYSE for days! The Panic didn’t stop the company who in 2013 had revenues of $146 Billion Dollars. Not bad, huh?
General Motors was founded after the Panic of 1907, which caused major runs in which many financial institutions did not survive.
FedEx was founded during the Oil Crisis of 1973. Really? A delivery company founded during a fuel crisis? Whoulda thunk?
My point is to stop making excuses and start taking steps. Your WHEN is today! You don’t have to know the whole plan! You don’t even have to know half the plan. You just need to know the dream or goal in your heart, and then find the next right thing to do. Your Journey begins with a single step.
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