As a child, Ryan’s Steakhouse was a regular weekend dinner. That was buffet heaven! I could eat anything and as much as I wanted. Unlike when I ordered, I didn’t have to answer for my choices until it was already on the table. The best part – The dessert bar! Frozen yogurt with all the toppings! It just didn’t get any better than that!
As a recovering food addict, there came a point when buffets stopped being my friend. In fact, in bondage to guilt and shame, my dining experiences were often ruined. I would walk up to the buffet and the foods in front of me looked so good, but there was a voice that said, “I’m beckoning you. Don’t you want me?” That voice competed with one that said, “You shouldn’t eat ANY of this.” Buffet foods CALL MY NAME by the sight of them and often my choice becomes either overindulge or deprive myself.
When I order my food, on the other hand, I have more control over the decision. I can see what it is I really want without being distracted by the sight of all the other food. For instance, my favorite meal right now is asparagus fries and a salmon salad from Marlow’s Tavern. Delish! I crave this meal. Something INSIDE of me desires it!
In her book, Women Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, tells stories of women and then gives an analysis of the symbolism in those stories. In one of them, she compares the spectrum of our cravings to a smorgasbord (a buffet). Sometimes, we can look and see what we are hungry for. Other times, we have to look deeper at our cravings. It’s a metaphor for intuition and instinct.
Intuition is defined as “knowing something by a feeling rather than by facts.”
Instinct is defined as “something deep inside of you that feels so familiar you have to listen to it.”
I don’t have great eyesight, but I have a lot of intuition and instinct. There are things that I just know. They don’t come from my eyes. They come from inside of me.
Problems come into my life when I allow myself to get so distracted by what is going on around me or the number of choices I could make that I forget the truth that is inside of me. I allow myself to be overwhelmed by the buffet of the moment, just like I used to at Ryan’s Steakhouse, and I make choices that aren’t the best for me and others.
At The Journey Training, I learned tools to sort through the distractions – the buffets of the moment. I was reminded that everything I need to get what I want in life and to be who I was created to be is inside of me! I learned how to slow down my mind, to pause, to quiet the voices, to focus on the truth.
“Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.”
The buffets of life are always going to be calling your name. If you’re overwhelmed by all the voices calling your name, how do you choose what is best? Go with your intuition and instinct. Enroll in the next Threshold class!
Each morning when I come to work I check my email for any overnight issues and then I head out to walk the floor in the data center and then move across to the main building to make sure everything looks okay. This morning while I was in the data center I noticed a young man pushing a small box along the conveyor. The box was not quite heavy enough to take advantage of the moving wheels that could have taken it all the way to the truck for shipment. The box had a destination or purpose if you will.
Watching the box struggle and the young man pushing it periodically reminded me of our own lives at times. We may know our destination or purpose but sometimes we struggle to get there. I have a great wife and some great friends and when they see me struggling they come along side me and become my Barnabas – my encourager.
Do you know someone that could use a Barnabas? Do you need a Barnabas? Last night I spoke to a friend, someone that I admire very much for his wisdom and insight. I was sharing with him my purpose, passion, and desire to become a Life Coach. I shared the steps I had already taken and what I planned to do next. Everything he spoke to me just became more and more of an encouragement.
We often get stuck in ruts and are afraid to ask for help or encouragement. We start thinking to ourselves, “If I am struggling, it must not be for me.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Depending on your spiritual beliefs, that kind of statement could be exactly what your enemy wants you to believe so you will not even try, let alone succeed. How many times do we give up because we can’t seem to figure something out on our own?
As an aspiring life coach, I’ve learned that it’s important to reach out and ask for help, especially if I believe in my heart this is my purpose and passion. Just like that box that was on the road to its destination, we all need encouragement at many times alone our own path. I used to just wait for opportunity to come to me… Not anymore! If I need a Barnabas, I will reach out. How about you?
Have you ever seen a big puddle, but stepped in it before you could stop yourself? Or worse – dog poop? As someone who is legally blind, people are always warning me of these kinds of things. Sometimes I process the warning and avoid it in time. Sometimes I step in it anyway.
Several months ago, I REALLY stepped in it. No one was there to warn me not to, but the signs were all there. I made a political post on Facebook. I wasn’t aligning with one side or the other. I was merely posting a question. I knew who’d I hear from and what side they would take. There were also some surprise contributors. Despite my genuine intentions, it got out of control quickly, with more arguing than I would have ever wanted. It led to one friend completely backing out of the post, out of respect to me, but unwilling to continue engaging in the debate. I was frazzled and no one’s mind was changed by all of the back and forth comments.
One of the “takeaways” from The Journey Training is that it goes beyond the training weekends. You are equipped with tools for living what you’ve learned. One of the tools I received was the PAUSE button. Basically, STOP, THINK IT THROUGH, THEN ACT. Unfortunately, I didn’t remember what I had learned!
I should’ve paused to think it through before I commented. I should’ve paused to think about the consequences. If I had hit the PAUSE button, my intuition would have predicted the ramifications of my post.
After the fallout from that post, I took time for reflection and received some wonderful feedback to help me learn from what happened. I didn’t just remember what I had learned or remind myself to pause, I created action steps that define what PAUSING means for me.
ACTION STEP #1 – I was challenged to NOT be the first to comment on any posts or statuses. Not only does it keep me from saying the first thing I think, but it also gives others the chance to share and shine.
ACTION STEP #2 – Facebook fasts. Just like food, sometimes we need a break from social media to cleanse ourselves and change a habit. Fasting removes the overwhelming “input” out there. Plus, I can’t impulsively comment on something I’m not seeing!
Maybe you can relate to this experience. If you can, I hope you find some value in these steps and possibly put them into action yourself.
The other great lesson I learned from this experience was the importance of surrounding myself with wise counsel. The Book of Proverbs in the Bible is filled with wisdom! For instance, Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another.” Surround yourself with people that will be honest with you and care about making you better. Ask for and accept their feedback!
The Journey Training is a group of people that help sharpen one another. They offer unique perspectives that help with all of the trials and triumphs we face in life. Best of all, they do it without judgement! If you’re looking for some tools to stop “stepping in it”, or you’re looking for some iron to sharpen you, consider enrolling in the next class!
Have you ever seen the movie “Titanic”? I remember the first cruise I ever took. Shortly after the cruise had started everyone had to go on deck to their muster station to watch a demo about the lifeboats. I just kept seeing that movie replaying in my mind.
In one of the scenes in the movie, as the ship is going down, the lifeboats are about to fill up and people are starting to make decisions about who should get on the life boat. Everyone starts giving their reasons for why they should or should not be on the lifeboat.
I remember thinking, “What would I do in that situation?” I knew the answer immediately. I would give up my seat. I had lived my whole life doing for others, choosing to give up my seat for someone else and never thinking of saving a seat for myself. I always put myself last because I thought that was how it was supposed to be. As a Christian I felt it was my place to always be last.
When I attended The Journey Training, I was at the lowest point in my life. I felt like I was stuck with no place to go. My gas tank was completely empty. I felt like I was lost and just wandering around with no particular place to go or anyone to turn to for help. In fact, I thought asking for help would be a sign of weakness. That was my state of mind – saving everyone else and sacrificing my life as if it was what God expected me to do. That was my story and I stuck to it.
Before The Journey Training, the thought never entered my mind that I was valuable, that I am was worth saving, and that I needed to start seeing value in my life. Now I know who I am and I realize that God has a much greater plan for me! I will never forget what I’ve learned and I’ve shared these revelations with several people to include my 18-year-old grandson. My new story says that I am just as important as the next person, that we all matter and have value. My mantra now…”Harry lives!!!”
Are you stuck? Are you tired and out of gas? Do you need a new perspective or challenge? Do you need a life boat? Do you want direction or need to ask for some help? If your answer to any of these questions is “yes”, please consider joining us for the next Journey Training class called “Threshold” March 3 – 5, 2017. You won’t regret it!
Fear, shame, anger, and heartbreak…all emotions I felt in one week. By Friday, I was exhausted. By Saturday, I was aware of how much better I was for them.
The fear arose from a health scare of someone on the favorite person list. The shame came from negative perceptions of myself. The anger and heartbreak built up from letting things boil slowly over a month’s time until I was cooked…like a frog.
If you don’t know the metaphor of the boiling frog, it is said that if a frog jumps into a pot of boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is in a pot of cold water, as the water heats up and begins to boil, it will not perceive that it is being cooked and will boil to death.
I didn’t stay in the pot…
I know that as some of my friends and family read this, they will worry about me, either that I had to endure those feelings or that they didn’t. Take heart in knowing this: I didn’t live there. I didn’t die.
Each of those feelings DROVE ME SOMEWHERE.
The fear of my friend’s health scare drove me to the reminder of what really matters. I could feel what the fear felt like and it reminded me of the bigger picture.
The shame drove me to lose the lies, reach in and reach out for wise counsel. It drove me to taking action.
The anger was enough to force my friend and I to deal with all the little issues I’d let slide. In the past, I boiled so fast that I literally exploded and when the fuse blew I created scenes that I felt horrible about. This time, I knew that I couldn’t deal with the issue in that moment. As soon as I identified the anger, I told the other person that I was too angry to deal with it right then, so we tabled the conversation until a calmer moment…and we are better for it. Our friendship is stronger for it.
The heartbreak drove me straight to worship. In my brokenness, God was there, ministering to me and loving me through it.
These feelings were not fun. The moments surrounding them were painful. The Journey Training taught me how to accept my feelings, take responsibility for them, and also how to RESPOND to them.
“We fix our eyes on what is seen, not what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18.
It was 5 days before Christmas. I decided to brave TJ Maxx HomeGoods for the last of my shopping. Two hours later, I’m in the rather long checkout line. Ten registers, one queue line, an aisle of impulse buys behind that, and the line was beginning to pour over into another new line. A few spots behind me, there was a man holding a rather large box. The ladies directly behind me offered to get him a buggy. What’s a buggy you ask? It’s that thing you push that many people call a cart. The man declined the buggy and continued to wait and hold his box. A few minutes later I looked back and he was gone. I don’t know his story or why he left, but I know that before I went through The Journey Training, I also often held onto too much stuff when I should’ve gotten a buggy.
I’ve always had a hard time accepting help. Just because I had a prenatal stroke which weakened my left side and also made me legally blind, I didn’t want to be perceived as weak. I was bullied enough as a child that I told myself stories that everyone thought I was weak. In my mind, I should carry the same bulky and heavy boxes anyone else does and be trusted with the same amount of fragile material…despite all of my falls. I had to accept that other people have to drive me, but I’m perfectly capable of carrying a week’s worth of groceries in and out of the car by myself.
When I attended my first Journey Training class, I began to see areas of my life that were weighing me down. The Threshold weekend showed me how much I needed to put in a buggy. The next weekend, Crossroads, helped me grab a buggy and actually use it. I felt lighter than ever before! The third class, Launch, showed me how important the buggy is to fulfilling my life’s purpose.
If you’re weighed down, maybe The Journey Training is your buggy! The next class is just around the corner! Grab a buggy and lighten your load!
“My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:30
