As a Boy Scout leader, one of the funnest games we would play is something called “Tell it like it isn’t.” I would get all the boys, put them in a circle, tell them a story. I would intentionally make up a funny or creative story (Surprising right?). The boys would tell each other the story, they could not repeat it or ask for explanation. all along the way, you could visibly see the story getting more and more odd based on the expressions of the boys who were hearing the story from their friend, almost like, “Did they really say that?” By the time it got to the end of the line, you generally would not get anything close to the same story. Too often we hear things or read emails and we are confused by it, but we don’t want to ask for clarification because of a number of reasons. What if what I think they said is true? What if they think I am stupid? What if they get mad I had them repeat it? Do any of these ring true?
If you are to communicate completely with other people, when you are not positive what you heard is true, it is important to ask them to clarify.
This actually happened today. A friend from out of town was staying with us overnight because she wanted to come early to volunteer for the Journey Training, so we had her sleep over. At dinner the next night, she made comment about Noell and I engaging in extracurricular activities at 6am this morning. (Technically termed Coitus) I asked “What are you talking about?” She told me, “I heard Noell say ‘O Arthur, O Arthur’ early this morning.”
I was horrified, “What?” There is no way that happened, and I would know. (Now if you have a smokin’ hot wife like Noell, you would know that I have no problem with that activity, I was just horrified that a guest would hear that)
I immediately got with Noell, and we started really thinking about this morning. Then I remembered what had happened last night. I remembered, that I had a meeting with Thrive15 at 6:30 this morning, and I was asked to deliver some Chicken Minis from Chick-fil-A. (I have heard them called our yummy Crack laced Breakfast Chicken) Well I thought I would go above, make it huge, and pick up some special donuts. Noell was supposed to order them for me. Sadly, they give us the frequent flyer discount at the donut store, and have a personal ring tone for my wife. I got up at 5:30, got ready, and at 6:05 I kissed my wife goodbye and asked her if she ordered the donuts. She snapped out of bed, and flung the covers off, and shouted “O ARTHUR, O ARTHUR,” (then quieter said) “I am so sorry.”
Meanwhile our friend all day carried around the thought of a very awkward moment of what she heard. All she heard was coming out of my room, Noell yelling, while being compassionate, “O Arthur,” with a sense of sorrow in her voice due to what she forgot.
Was either one wrong? Not necessarily. She connected some dots based on what she heard. This is actually something that our brain does naturally.
Can you think of a time that you heard the wrong thing, and then went the wrong direction with it?
I have done it sadly, multiple times.
Its quite natural, but it’s what you do with it afterwords that will make the difference.
My dad always told me, “Never buy a brand new car! As soon as you drive it off the lot, it’s worth thousands less than when you signed the papers!” I always wondered why that was true, but it is. Just try it! Buy a $20,000 car and drive it home. Then put it up for sale. It might only have 10 miles on the odometer, but you won’t get anyone to buy it for what you paid.
The value of a dollar is exactly that: a dollar! Then why does a car depreciate? One reason is because it becomes “used.” A car usually lasts a certain number of miles, and the longer it is driven, generally the less it is worth. My old truck, which my daughter’s friends call “The Hobo Truck”, has well over 220,000 miles on it, rust on the sides and scratches all over it! I even wrecked that old GMC, and my friend fixed it with a Chevy front end! It’s such a rag-tag truck, but I love it. It has taken me to all kinds of places; to see my kids perform, to my job, to the tryout of The Biggest Loser, and to so many great places creating so many great memories – but I doubt anyone else would find the kind of value in it that I do. To them, it’s just a junky old truck.
What about you? What are you worth?
So often we have let others determine our value by their thoughts and actions. When we were young, the opinion of others meant little to us. When we began to learn to walk, we fell down again and again – and people laughed! But we didn’t care. We got up and tried again and we eventually succeeded, but not before a thousand laughs and chuckles. Yet we didn’t let it bother us one bit.
Somewhere along the way, we began to care about what others think about us – perhaps just a little too much. The “you’ll never amount to anything” that a teacher said, or the “You’re ugly” or “You’re stupid” that a person said when we were young became so imprinted on our hearts that it caused us to depreciate in value. When we failed at something in front of others and were laughed at, we felt like a failure instead of an explorer that simply hit a bump in the road. And when we were picked on or hurt and abused by someone, it caused us to question our value and worth. Well, I am going to tell you something: You are worth the same, if not more, than the day you were born.
Remember that dollar? No matter how old it becomes or how many hands it passes through to become used and abused, torn, tattered and neglected – it’s still worth a dollar. Yet I see so many people who think they’re worth so little – just because they’ve been used, abused, torn, tattered and neglected. They feel small. They think, “Who am I to think I can do that?” or maybe “Who would want me as a friend?” I see it every day, and it breaks my heart. I still feel depreciated at times. Why will we will hold a dollar in our hand and no matter what, we know is worth the same as any other dollar! In fact, the older it gets, it can actually appreciate! An old dollar bill can be worth thousands of times its original value! Then I ask: why can’t you?
No matter what they say, you are beautiful. No matter what they think, you are awesome. No matter how they treat you, you are worthy. Still don’t believe me? Then do me a favor: take out a dollar bill, crumple it up, throw it down, stomp on it, and cover it with dirt. Then pick it up, shake it off and take it to the store and ask for change. I’ll bet you they give you a dollar’s worth!
Graduates of The Journey Training consistently say they feel more valuable in most areas of their lives after completing our courses. Do you want to get back the explorer in you that’s not afraid to try again – no matter what they say? Sign up for the next Journey Threshold class and see where it leads you. It led me to become the Biggest Loser in the history of the show!
You have the ability to set the tone for the day – but not just for you. The influence you have is much, MUCH more powerful than you realize. You set the tone with all kinds of people in all kinds of places! Let’s take a look at just a few people you affect:
- Yourself
- Your kids
- Your pets (not people, but you still affect them)
- Your co-workers
- Your guests/clients
- Even people you interact with at the grocery store
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!
As many of you may know, we have been actively involved in Keith’s Ice Cold Lemonade in Tulsa. A few weeks ago I went out of town on business while the Lemonade Stands were selling lemonade. The forecast called for 90% chance of rain, so they asked me what to do. I told them I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as a 10% chance of no rain, so they should go for it! My assistant posted on Facebook that we were going full steam ahead and soon I saw comments by others saying things like, “Great outlook!” and “Way to see the bright side!”
The next day started out misting and ended up raining all day, but instead of being down about it, the volunteers had a blast!
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When life gives you lemons you make lemonade, when summer gives you rain, you have a blast. You set the tone!
The definition of Beginning is as follows: “The point in time or space at which something starts.” Many of us see our lives as a dash – that dash on our headstone between when we were born and when we die. Although our dash is our entire life, I believe our life is like an investment: past results do not guarantee future performance. If you look at the fine print in the top mutual funds they will all have contain disclaimer. Why? Because the future is unwritten, and that’s a good thing!
We all fall down. The stock market rises, and it corrects – and sometimes even crashes! It’s a part of life. Our crash doesn’t define us or determine our future. How we respond to our crash defines us and determines our future. If you’re in a crash or have experienced one in your past, and don’t like where you are now, the good news is you can begin again.
I doubt anyone reading this has never felt hopeless at some point; hopeless in your finances, marriage, faith, health, weight, or maybe your job. That’s one thing we all have in common. Hopelessness is a direct negative result of the feeling pain. The good thing about pain is that it can also have a positive result: healing and growth. Healing and growth happens when we look at our pain – our crash – and we learn from it. If past performance guaranteed future results, we’d be finished. Thank God we can begin again! So, the million-dollar question is: How do we begin again? Well, I can tell you how I did it – by losing my regrets.
One day on The Biggest Loser, I made a terrible choice. I played a game that resulted in me having to eat a 780 calorie cupcake – and that’s not good when you’re in a weight-loss competition! I made a mistake! I crashed. I immediately began beating myself up about my bad decision. Coach Mo noticed this, came up to me and gently said, “Someday you’re going to have to be okay with your choices.” Later that day, Jillian Michaels, my trainer on NBC’s The Biggest Loser, had me on the treadmill and was killing me when she asked, “Danny, what’s wrong? Something’s bothering you.”
I got off the treadmill, sat down, and told her, “Jillian, I am so stupid. I played the game, ate the cupcake, and now I’m in trouble. I had to eat 780 calories more than the others and I may go home. I am so stupid!”
She replied, “So you’re going home, huh?”
“I could!”
Jillian said, “Well, that depends on you, not your stupid decision.” She went on to explain to me that holding on to regrets – the decisions that made you crash – will be your downfall, not the decisions themselves! You take your good decisions and run with them! You take your bad decisions and learn from them – use them to fuel your next step. That will determine your future.
That day, I grew – The pain and regret I felt began to cause hopelessness, but I worked through it and found healing & growth. I decided to begin again, right then and there! I laid down my regrets and worked harder that week than ever before – and I set a record on The Biggest Loser by losing the most weeks in a row of double digits, 7 weeks, beginning that very week! I dealt with my past, lost my regrets, and I was able to begin again.
What have you carrying from your past? Are there things you need to lay down and begin again? The Journey Training can help. I began losing my regrets in my training, and you can begin again with the next Journey Threshold class! Just make a new decision; a decision to lay down your regrets and begin again!
I feel I am what I would call a master of getting stuff done. Creating multiple guinness world records, writing a book, writing blogs, 6 kids, 1 wife, and 2 busy restaurants, Operator consultant for 2 licensed locations (like a Mini Chick-fil-A), board member on multiple boards, and on the Chick-fil-A Operator Innovations team, these things do not happen by accident. Here is one of the ways I look at productivity if your looking to get more done in the day:
I have figured this out for myself, but it might be useful question to ask: What do your opportunities look like? I have found that when I plan out my choices, it makes the consequences much more productive. Plan out my choices? What in the world does that mean?
Map out on a piece of paper what your typical day looks like. Here is how mine would look:
Most of us, generally do the same things over and over, same routine. It may even include some choices we make through the day that could be better planned. For example, I know that there are some days that when I am running the kids around town for band, for school, etc. that I end up spending a lot of time in the car. I will routinely pull out my phone and check on what is going on in my friends’ lives via FB. Most of it is just nonsense or quotes, but it is entertaining.
If you are not paying attention, how many 5 minute opportunities did you use through the day?
What if I planned for some of my down time? What if I brought some reports with me to go over so I can be prepared for my next meeting? What if I brought that book with me that I need to complete? You know, the one you made a commitment to read 6 months ago that you have not finished because you “don’t have the time.”
If you are being real, how many opportunities do you come across each day? I will use my day as example.
- When I am waiting on the Dr for an appointment I had.
- When I am waiting for my son to get out of school
- When I am ready to go, and I am waiting on my wife to finish getting ready.
Ok… maybe you don’t have downtimes like I do, but EVERYBODY poops!!
According to research done in the United Kingdom, a man spends an average of an hour and 45 min per week on the toilet, where a woman spends an hour and 20 min. On another note, the average person can read 48 pages per hour…… This means that potentially a man could read about 84 pages per week, or possibly a 300 page book per month.
When you create a plan of what to do when you come across moments of opportunity, you will find that the things you plan for will happen.
What do your opportunities look like?
I recently performed at the finale show for Tom McCloud’s “Lose It for the Kids.” Tom lost 95 pounds in 10 months while working out with me this year, but that’s not the amazing thing! Yes, losing 95 pound in 10 months without surgery, diet pills, or some extreme plan is amazing in itself, but there’s much more to the story.
I knew Tom from a few years before when he interviewed me after winning The Biggest Loser for his magazine Community Spirit. One morning last year I was working out at Fitness Together Jenks/Riverside with Michael Watkins when Tom showed up to take some pictures of me for a monthly column that I write. When I saw him, I gently asked, “Tom, why don’t you get in here and hook up with Michael and lose some weight with me?” His answer: “Well Danny, I broke my neck a few years back and I don’t think I could.” I replied with, “Tom, that will stop you as long as you let it stop you. We can work around that.” It took a while, but he finally got inspired and gave me a call. This is where it gets exciting.
You see, Tom devised a plan. He thought, “If I’m going to do this, why not make it something BIG!” He asked me to be his workout partner, and devised “Lose It for the Kids,” so his weight-loss journey could benefit someone in need. He made a website and asked people to pledge money per pound he lost for Contact Missions, a ministry of Tulsa Neighborhood Network who recently began a campaign for outreach to kids in West Tulsa who are underserved. They tutor, mentor, and coach them, providing school programs and expanding their subsidized summer-long camps focused on building both faith and character. He began to see how his losing weight could also benefit those kids – which is a product of THINKING BIG! He raised over $50,000 for the kids, and lost almost 100 pounds to boot! Now that’s a WIN-WIN!
You see, thinking small might be just thinking of him. Why think small when you can THINK BIG? What have you got to give? Some may have money, while others may have time. Some may bring a gift like music, while others bring the gift of love and service. What do you have that can benefit others? Whatever you have, you can use it for contribution to someone else while it also accomplishes what you set out to do.
Winning The Biggest Loser has provided me with a platform I never thought I would have. I get to speak all over the world (7 countries & 45 states) to help motivate and inspire others to reach for their dreams. I am blessed to be able to pay it forward and help others in my Bootcamp here in Tulsa, where Christy C. has lost 70 pounds in 4 months and Jeff S. has lost 80 pounds. I have taken what I have and given it to others.
My friend Arthur Greeno once told me, “People want to be a part of something BIG.” I urge you to THINK BIG. What is it you can do for others while you achieve the success you have been striving for? Arthur is a part of Keith’s Ice Cold Lemonade Stand, where this summer he helped a young man named Keith, who has Cerebral Palsy, raise over $120,000 for The Little Lighthouse – simply by selling lemonade. Yes, Keith’s could have been a single lemonade stand, but Arthur chose to THINK BIG, get sponsors and volunteers, and make a BIG difference for others.
The facilitator’s of The Journey Training found freedom we could never imagine, causing our vision and lives to become MUCH BIGGER than we ever thought possible. We decided to pay if forward and create The Journey Training in Tulsa, Oklahoma. If you want to THINK BIG, why don’t you sign up for the next Threshold class at www.thejourneytraining.com? What have you got to lose – except the small thinking!
