Reasons are Relative

Reasons are Relative

Sometimes I don’t get it. Why would anyone like to live in Alaska? It’s cold for most of the year, with Grizzly and Polar bears that will eat you alive. I’ll bet the internet connections are troublesome, too. Yet, there are people who will move there. I wouldn’t ever want to move there.

There are also restaurants I can’t stand. I won’t name the restaurant, but it serves hamburgers. I think it’s just an overpriced burger that isn’t even that great! And yes, I have friends that will say, “Let’s meet at <that burger joint> and talk some things over!” I’m thinking anywhere but there! I hate that place! How can anyone like that place? The fact is, what you don’t know may be why.

Can’t give it back

Once I was at a Christmas Party, and we played Dirty Santa. This means we all brought a wrapped gift with no name and put them under the tree. We then drew numbers and drew from 1 to 45. Number 1 went first. He/she opened the gift. Then it was Number 2’s turn. They could either pick a wrapped present or “steal” an unwrapped one they wanted. I was number 2. I didn’t really want a DVD of a movie I had seen, so I opened a new gift. It was a squeegee; you know, it had a handle and you clean your windshield with it.

My thoughts immediately went to, “Great, I’m stuck with this!” I mean, who would want a squeegee at a Dirty Santa game? As the game went on, I say incredible presents that I would give anything to steal had it been my turn. Pretty soon, each time they called number, I stood and jumped up and down, yelling, “Squeegee! Squeegee! You know you want this squeegee!” Everyone would laugh and I’d sit back down when they’d say, “No way! You’re stuck with that!”

What’s not important to you may be important to others

They called another number, and there I was – jumping up and down – using every sales tactic in the book to get that squeegee out of my hands! And a man stood up and walked right up to me and said, “I’ll take that squeegee, thank you very much!”

The room erupted in laughter! I was thinking, “Is this guy an idiot? What is he thinking?!” Everyone was shocked that he actually took a squeegee! And as he walked away from me, he said, “I’m a truck driver, and my squeegee just broke! This is answered prayer!” The room erupted again, this time in applause!

Don’t judge too quickly

When someone reacts a way you cannot understand, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” When someone enjoys something you don’t enjoy, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” When someone wants something you don’t want, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” Their reasoning may differ from yours, but the reason may be a valid one too them.

I once facilitated a couple who told me a story. They were choosing a house and he wanted brick when she did not. She made up a story that he was just not wanting to give her what she wanted. She finally gave in and they got brick. She just asked herself a simple question: Does he love me and want the best for me? Her answer was yes, so she realized that there’s gotta be a reason for that. Now, 15 years later, she is so glad to have brick! It doesn’t need to be painted or maintained, and it give you better insulations and protection from the weather! When she told him she was now glad, he replied, “I was only trying to give you the best – to take care of our family the best way I could.” And she saw his reasoning – his perspective.

Reasons are relative

The next time someone treats you wrong, there is a reason for that. It’s probably because they were hurt, because hurt people hurt people. When someone cuts you off in traffic, take a breath and realize there’s a reason for that. Maybe it’s because they are rude, but maybe they are in a hurry to get somewhere, scared that if they’re late one more time they might lose their job. Both are possible reasons, but I find peace when I choose to believe the better one. Stress is relieved and I just a happier person.

In The Journey Training, we talk about how we “make up stories” and connect the dots – sometimes jumping to the wrong conclusion. We also talk about how every choice you make has an end result. By reminding yourself there’s gotta be a reason for that, you’ll diffuse arguments, lower your stress, and possibly see things from a different perspective. Our trainees are given dozens of tools like this to help them live a happier, more productive life – giving them the results they want! Why don’t you sign up and see what stories you’ve been making up in your life? You probably just made up a story while reading the last paragraph, too… And that is why you should sign up today!

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Facing The Right Way by Michele VanDusen

Facing The Right Way by Michele VanDusen

Do you ever feel like you are in the right place at the right time, yet you just don’t feel fulfilled? Has anyone ever told you that you are, “Looking at it all wrong?” Let me humor you with an account of my trip to the Grand Canyon and the lessons I learned on the way.

My 3 month old and I were smushed into a van full of missionaries and after 20 hours of driving we arrived at our destination – The Grand Canyon. Ahh! We arrived just as the rain was stopping. I made it! Now what? If I only sit in the van, I am at the destination. But am I enjoying the full experience of being there? No. Is my purpose of being there simply to check in on Instagram? No. Obviously there has to be more as to why I struggled to get to this destination.

So I got out of the van and stretched in the drizzle soaked parking lot. As I breathed that glorious air, I listened to the birds singing, the leaves rustling in the wind, and people ooo-ing and ahh-ing. Now I have arrived. But is this all there is? All I could see were some trees, a pile of cement blocks that marked off some parking, and overflowing trash cans – some view! Really? This is why people come to the Grand Canyon? I was not impressed and I wanted to get back into that van and head home, unsatisfied and disappointed. Maybe I missed what I was supposed to be doing. There I was, standing in a cement jungle a thousand miles away from my husband holding a fussy baby. UGH! I wanted to go back home. That was me quitting and giving up on the reason I traveled this far.

My friend saw me standing next to the van and said, “Hey, you’re looking at it all wrong. Don’t stand here staring in the parking lot! Turn around and see the beauty of the Grand Canyon! Come on. Look this way!” Well, let me tell you, once I turned away from the parking lot and focused on the Grand Canyon, I saw it – and it WAS beautiful! It was much more than I expected, and it took my breath away. The sun caught the last of the rain clouds and the most magnificent rainbow appeared! It beamed over the Grand Canyon from one ridge filling the entire sky all the way to the other ridge, brightly proclaiming that God keeps His promise! Finally, I was standing at the Right Place, in the Right Moment, and Facing the Right Way.

Looking in the right direction gets your eyes off of your parking lot of problems which can leave you feeling frustrated, irritable, wanting to quit, and going nowhere. Looking in the right direction can bring you to see the vastness of God’s purpose and plan for your life. While standing in that position with my vision refocused, my purpose became crisp and clear. I would have missed the rainbow if I had continued staring at the parking lot. But someone helped me adjust my focus and I didn’t miss it!

What is your Right Place? It is the place where God has led you. It could be a place of employment, a place to eat, a place to serve, and even a place for entertainment. Don’t miss your Right Place by staying home. And don’t be afraid to make adjustments once you are in that place.

What is your Right Moment? In the book of Esther it says, “For such a time as this.” In Ecclesiastes it says, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Now is the time. You are in the right season, but are you facing the right way? Do things look blurry, unfocused and uncertain? Don’t be afraid to look around, turn around and see the bigger picture. There is a view that is much better than you can imagine by adjusting your focus.

I was in the right place at the right time facing the right way. You can be there, too.

Answer these questions: Am I in the right place? Is this the right moment? Am I looking at it from the right perspective? Do I need to change my focus?

If any of these answers were “YES,” consider attending The Journey Training to obtain the tools you need to refocus your vision. Like my friend who turned me around and changed my perspective, The Journey Training will come alongside you on your life’s journey to help you turn from a parking lot view to the Grand Canyon view. Come and see how your new vision of life can be beautiful and fulfilling. You just might find that you’ve been there all along…just not facing the right way!

 

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Can You Start a Fire?

Can You Start a Fire?

We all have something inside of us that we never knew was there. It is a force…an inner strength that is sleeping, just waiting to be wakened. You may not know it’s there, but it is. All you have to do is find that “why” and it will wake up!  Can you start a fire?

The Biggest Loser allowed me to find out things I never knew about my resolve.
It all happened when I found my “why.”

You may ask, “What is a ‘why?’”
It is that reason…that event when you finally decide to go the distance no matter what. It is when your priorities change and that hurdle that was blocking your way seems a lot shorter and easier to get over! We’ve all found it at one time or another. I found one of my first “why’s” at 15 years old. I didn’t have a girlfriend my sophomore year, but all of my friends did. I went home in May of my sophomore year and returned a Junior 75 pounds lighter! Ask any one of my high school buddies! I remember hearing “Is that Danny Cahill? Oh my gosh! Wow!” It was like finale of season 8 when I came bursting through the paper! I didn’t even look like the same person! A girlfriend was my “why!”

When you find your why, you then apply that force that awakens the fire within you to change!
Imagine two sticks. They just lie there on the ground. There is nothing too powerful about two sticks. But when you rub them together with great speed and force, you create fire. We are all sticks lying there waiting for that “why.” When we find our “why,” we can then tolerate the “how” of doing anything whether it is quitting smoking, saving a marriage, starting a business, and yes…losing weight.

Find your “WHY” today and apply that force that makes two inanimate sticks burn with the intensity to change the world!

Danny Cahill of the Biggest Loser Season 8
The Biggest Loser…EVER with 55.58% body weight lost!

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Would You Rather?  By: Alison Loyd

Would You Rather? By: Alison Loyd

 

         Would you rather have a cat or a dog? Be a race car or helicopter? Be in first grade or second grade? Be an animal or a fictional character? Give three reasons and examples, a good conclusion, check for capitalization and punctuation, and you have Writer’s Workshop in my 2nd Grade classroom the last couple of weeks.

As adults, our “Would You Rather?” questions are a bit harder and have more at stake. Would you rather rent or buy? Go back to school or get out of debt? Work outside the home or stay at home?

It’s all about priorities.

My biggest priorities right now are my health & fitness, my career & my finances. When faced with a “Would you rather?” moment, I weigh it in light of my priorities. Would I rather go on a day trip or save that money for a big trip later? Would I rather have that cake or see the scale go down? Go out to eat extra now or save the money and calories for this weekend? Sleep in or get to work early? On their own, I may want all of them. Putting them head to head, however, the higher priority is what should win out most of the time.

Instant Gratification vs. the Long Term Reward?

            In the moment, I would rather have that Mexican food, but afterwards I feel sick. In the long run, I want to lose weight. When a friend invites me somewhere, of course I want to go; I’m a quality time person after all! Laying in my bed is super comfortable…until I’m panicked because I’m running late.

Planning Ahead

As I began to look at my priorities, I was talking with a friend who is a Catholic Priest about his priorities. While all of his duties as a Priest are important, sometimes they can compete with each other. He has already pre-planned the order of his priorities, so when faced with a dilemma of two priorities, he can confidently choose based on his pre-set list of priorities.

Likewise, when I have my meals planned ahead, it is easier to put off the Mexican food until I’m with friends on the weekend. When faced with a socio-financial temptation, I’ve already decided that I’m saving for a trip in April, and I can offer up a cheaper activity that still involves quality time.

Last May, while not phrased as “Would you rather”, I was faced with a choice; resign from my job without a job lined up or commit to another year at a job where I was miserable. My priority to leave meant that I also had to choose financial planning and action steps to find a new job. Believe it or not, this was one of the most peaceful “Would you rather” decisions of my life!

What would you rather do? Take a look at your priorities, make some plans, and in turn, help yourself get what you really want!

I am Alison, and I am a graduate of The Journey Training program, in which participants are equipped with the tools to make life-choices that pay the highest dividends. Would you rather be stuck where you are or find freedom and achieve your dreams? Make YOU a priority and enroll in the next Threshold class!

Oh, and by the way…the answers to the introductory questions are as follows: dog (if I MUST choose), helicopter (would make life way easier), second grade, and fictional character (opposite a dashing and handsome leading man).

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The Wood Floor

The Wood Floor

Perspective: “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”

Almost two years ago, Lisa and I made the decision to move to Nashville Tennessee so that I could continue to grow a consulting firm located there and stop traveling so often from Dallas. We ended up choosing a new home that was under construction and we were able to still make most of the final design choices. It’s a beautiful home with most of things we have always wanted, including genuine hard wood floors.

If you’ve had real hard wood floors, you know they take some work to keep them looking nice. Last weekend I had the opportunity to clean and mop all of the wood. As I was working I became focused on the scratches that Duke, our 2 year old – 90 pound black lab, has created. There are lots of scratches and some are very deep. I began to get very angry about what he has done to our beautiful new floors. I also got mad at the builder for not doing a better job or using more durable materials. Let’s just say that I really started to scrub the floor! Can you relate to this story?

REMEMBERING WHY!

Suddenly, I was overcome with a new feeling and thoughts that stopped me and moved me to tears. I believe I was overcome by the Holy Spirit, and God was using this moment to show me a new perspective. In that moment, I really looked at the scratches and was reminded of the reason we got Duke in the first place.

Almost three years ago, we lost Boomer, our faithful friend of 14 years. Boomer was a 14 year old chocolate lab  and he had been our daughter’s best friend since she was four years old. Amanda loved him more than anything and she was heartbroken and somewhat lost without him. It had been about 8 months and Amanda desperately wanted a new puppy as we were about to make the move to Nashville. Lisa and I wanted to wait, but we knew that we had to help Amanda through this transition. We found Duke when he has 9 weeks old and he moved to Nashville with us.

A NEW PERSPECTIVE

In that moment, I was able to look at those scratches from a whole new perspective. It’s not the builder’s fault that we have scratches in our floors. It wasn’t a stupid or bad choice that we made to get Duke as a puppy and move with him into a brand new house.

It was the RIGHT CHOICE made for the RIGHT REASONS! We chose him because our daughter needed him. And because we love our daughter more than anything on this earth – more than those bona fide hard wood floors. Duke is a part of our family because we made a choice based in love!

The scratches aren’t bad. The scratches are BEAUTIFUL! They are reminders of the love we have for our daughter and the love we share in our home.

1 Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Since the cleaning, I see Duke and the things he does differently now. Does this mean that he will never make me mad again? No, I’m sure it doesn’t. After all, I’m not perfect and he is still a puppy whose body is way bigger than he realizes. I’m sure he’s going to damage something else in his lifetime.

But I do realize that I get to choose how I see him and remember why I love him. I can choose to stop focusing on the negative things, like the scratches. I can choose a different perspective before anger, guilt, shame or fear ruin a good and beautiful thing. That’s what I can control – my perspective.

What about you? Is there something in your life that you might need to see from a different perspective? In The Journey Training, we give you the opportunity to do just that. Come join us for the next class, Threshold.

A NEW DEFINITION

Perspective: “a simple word that can change everything.”

 

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Getting from Point A to Point B

Getting from Point A to Point B

Getting from one point to another usually isn’t that hard. We usually make it hard.  Most of the time it doesn’t look the same for everyone, with steps that can be very different. We are all at different places in our lives, and throwing a personal development training into our budget of finances and time can create a little chaos…if we allow it to.  How are you getting from Point A to Point B?

When we have something that isn’t planned suddenly appear, our first reaction can be, “I can’t do it.” Why do we think that? I say it is the easy way to think; it’s our comfort zone – all warm and fuzzy – and we like it there. After all, the easiest way to deal with a problem is to forget about the problem, right?

If we look at it from an abundance mindset, or one of growth, we can begin to see it differently.  If you went through Threshold, you can clearly see the impact the training has had on your life. And unlike other trainings, you’ll remember this one for years to come. You may ask, “How can we have our cake and eat it too?” Well, all of these are examples from true stories of people from The Journey Training and how they went from A to B. Use this as a guide – a template – to start the juices flowing for figuring out how to make this happen for you.
Have you ever had a situation where you were doing all the work while someone else was just sitting off to the side, not doing their fair share making you frustrated?  I have.  It is in our nature as humans to want to help others. At the same time, we don’t want to be taken advantage of.  I know for me, when someone is in need of finances, and they are willing to make an effort to do something, I will jump in and want to help them. On the flip side, if they are not willing to make an effort, I can lose the desire to help.  Here are some ideas that we’ve seen from people who got off their ask and made some efforts, and it served them well.

 

  • It snowed, and we walked the neighborhood asking if we could shovel their walk, for a donation so we could go to The Journey.
  • When it snowed, I used my suburban to pull people out of ditches, and they gave me money toward The Journey Training.
  • I posted on social media that I would be willing to babysit for anyone if they wanted to go on a date.
  • I offered to clean houses to make some money to go toward my next Journey class, and I achieved my goal! AND was able to do a little after that helped me supplement my income.
  • I sewed a quilt, and auctioned it off to TJT alumni.
  • I did a bike marathon, and set it up as a fundraiser, and I asked people to sponsor me per mile I rode the bike.
  • Went to Sam’s Club and bought some beef jerky and candy bars, then I sold it at work as a fundraiser to come back to The Journey.
  • We gave plasma. It gave us time together, and gave us some extra cash to make this happen. (I just got a message from someone that you can earn up to $400 your first month giving plasma by doing it 2x per week)
  • I Gave Blood.
  • I offered to mow anyone’s grass to make money to go to Crossroads, and I did it!
  • Once we had 2 girls in one class that were massage therapists. They had a dinner and everyone came over. They gave 30 min massages to everyone for donations.
  • I offered to do miscellaneous stuff, so I hung helped hang Christmas lights.
  • Sign up with Uber and become a Taxi in your spare time.
  • I had a fundraiser dinner, where I cooked all the food, and people from the alumni group paid to come have dinner.
  • People have sold Chick-fil-A calendars as a fundraiser.  (This is an option from Aug-Dec only)
  • Selling miscellaneous things on EBay, Craigslist, or even to a Pawn Shop – DISCLOSURE: we are not telling you to go sell all your stuff to go thru TJT! We are encouraging you to think differently, with an open mind, on ways to raise funds if you need them.
  • Trainees have organized Garage Sales to raise money to go, or to help those in their class go.

 

Or perhaps you could make the difference by cutting back. (Oh my goodness, he said it.)  We want what we want when we want it, right?  Well sometimes hitting our goals makes things look a little different.  Saying NO to something, even just for a little while, can be a healthy practice and a way to raise needed funds to get back to Crossroads. No does not have to mean no forever. Ask yourself, “Could I be spending money foolishly?  Can I cut back on anything? Decrease my spending?” Here are some examples of cutting back:

 

  • “I would get Starbucks or a Chick-fil-A tea every day on my way to work. By cutting this out for a time, it saved me $60 per month that I could put towards my training.
  • “I called my cable provider. I asked them how I could lower my cost, and that if I didn’t, I’d have to stop using them altogether. Guess what? THEY CUT MY COST $19 A MONTH!”
  • “We cut back on our eating out, and with just 3 extra meals at home we saved $40 per month!”

 

Every one of us has Talents and Gifts that God intends us to use.  What are yours? Is there anything you can offer to people to raise funds.

 

  • People have made T-Shirts with Journey things on it for their class and other alumni to buy.
  • People have made wall hanging art – one said “Life is better on the Boat!” – and sold it to alumni
  • People have made stained glass items and sold them to people.
  • People have sold custom-made cookies for events.
  • People have prepared pans of Lasagna for alumni to buy so they’d have a pre-made dinner for their family.
  • Someone created Hair Bows and sold them to people.
  • Someone created custom coasters for people using pictures for fundraising.
  • Someone did a phot shoot for funds for their next training.

 

When we are making efforts to hit our goals, others can be encouraged by this. They may even want to jump in to help!  Unfortunately, there are those who don’t make the effort and end up not reaching their goals – which is going victim to their circumstances. Look at all these ideas. Maybe it’s time to set your pride aside, and think about what you can do to invest in yourself!

 

And if you’ve already finished your trainings, there is a Class 3 called LAUNCH that is about to begin, so maybe you need to save up for that! And maybe you’d save someone’s life by doing these things again and sponsoring someone you love to fill your seat in The Journey Training.

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