WHEW! You made it through Christmas! You know what comes next. That’s right – it’s time for New Year’s resolutions! That wonderful motivational time of year when we make all kinds of commitments to new goals. In order for us to achieve these new goals we must make some sort of change in the way we are living today. Our heart says we can do it and for a brief period of time, our head agrees. And then something happens and we resist the changes we need to make even though we know, deep down, it’s what we really want. Resistance to change can expose itself in many ways, from foot-dragging, to self-sabotage, to even outright rebellion. Studying universal sources of resistance gives us the ability to see when we may be resistant to change. Here are several warning signs to watch out for:
Excessive Uncertainty: To some, change can feel like walking off a cliff blindfolded. This anxiety can cause us to push back from anything we view as “change.” We all naturally seek self-preservation and safety, so it is common for people to choose to remain where they are to avoid the uncertainty of change. As the saying goes, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”
Everything seems different: Change naturally brings new things into our lives. But we are creatures of habit. Since we are often lulled into daily routines, change often jolts us into consciousness, often in uncomfortable ways. We can resist change if it shines a spotlight on things we’d rather have stay the same.
Loss of face: Change is a departure from the past. We can perceive change as admitting that we have done something wrong that requires a change. If we buy into that thought process, we often resist change to save our ego and perceived reputation.
Concerns about competence: If change means that our current skills become obsolete, we often resist change so that we don’t have to learn new skill sets. If things would only stay the same, we would not have to feel like we are not up to the new task.
More work: Change is indeed more work. Those closest to change are often overloaded and resist it in an effort to reduce the load.
Past resentment: The ghosts of the past are always lying in wait to haunt us. Old wounds can be reopened in times of change.
Ripple effects: Change can create ripples and affect others around you. These ripples can lead to disruptions in routines, workflow, and even in the way we think. Sometimes the people around us do not want us to change.
Have you already found yourself resisting change to something you really want to do? Do any of the examples listed above sound all too familiar? Are you ready to make a change that sticks?
Come join us at The Journey Training in January. You will learn tools and methods that you can immediately apply in your life and make changes that last and bring you the things you say that you want most in your life. Don’t resist this opportunity – I promise you won’t regret it!
When my husband and I were still dating, he asked me to make him deviled eggs because he was feeling homesick and it was one of the things his family always had at holidays. That turned into a discussion about how different deviled eggs were between my family and his family. His family made them sweet, which was odd to me because my family made them spicy. So I told him that I would boil the eggs for him, but he would have to prepare the filling for them because I didn’t know what ingredients were in the recipe he was craving.
He then proceeded to tell me how difficult it is to peel boiled eggs. I never had an issue with peeling hard boiled eggs before, so when he said that I just kind of smiled and nodded, not knowing what he was talking about. He went into an explanation of the thermodynamics of an egg and how it would shrink away from its shell when it went from cold to hot, which is why he learned to boil the water and then drop the eggs in. This is the very same method I had always used, so I really didn’t have anything to add.
I filled up the pot with water, started it to boil, lowered the eggs in and let them cook. When it was time to drain the eggs, I was wondering why he thought it was difficult. And guess what? Peeling the eggs was hard! I let his assessment of the difficulty of the task get in my head and that doubt caused me to have difficulty as well.
I recently went through a class in The Journey Training called Launch. This class showed me just how much I was letting other people’s perceptions color my own. I was able to let go of that self-limiting belief and do things I always wanted to do, but felt I couldn’t. I stayed present in each moment and focused only on what I was doing while I was doing it. I didn’t let anyone else’s struggles define my own. I climbed to the top of a 50-foot pole, when no one else did, and jumped off and grabbed a trapeze. I didn’t let the fact that no one else had been able to do it hold me back from giving it my 100%.
I learned that each of us have different capabilities and no one gets to define them but ourselves. Since going through The Journey Training and Launch especially, I feel empowered and ready to take on the challenges in my life. I have found my inner strength and the voices of doubt have lost their hold on me. I am a powerful, worthy and precious diamond!
If you have ever questioned your abilities or wonder what else life has to offer, I really encourage you to go through The Journey Training. It’s a choice you won’t regret!
Fear can be paralyzing and make us feel like there’s no way out. Annie Downs, a speaker and author of the book “Let’s All Be Brave”, recently delivered a message on fear. She posed this question in response to “What if?” questions of fear in our lives: “… And then what?” This really hit me because I HATE feeling STUCK and it helped remind me of so many things that I learned in The Journey Training.
I’m a planner, always have been – always will be. I remember making college plans from a young age. I thought I was destined for Harvard, Florida State, or Notre Dame. I always thought I knew what career I was going to choose – everything from Chairman of the Board or lawyer to an actress on Days of our Lives.
I pursued both medicine and nursing in college. In my mind, it didn’t matter that I’m legally blind with a left side weakened by a prenatal stroke. There were still plenty of things I could do in those fields! Well, those plans didn’t pan out. And I vividly remember when it occurred to me that I MIGHT not get an acting contract and marry one of the actors. I was devastated!
The day I got rejected from nursing school, my Dad drove up to my college to have dinner with me. He was expecting to have to pick me up off the floor. And then what? I made the choice to believe that I was going to be okay, that GOD HAD BETTER PLANS FOR ME.
I actually went to the University of Georgia for my Bachelor’s degree, the University of San Diego for my Master’s degree, and now I’m a Special Education teacher. There were a lot of steps in getting there, a lot of tears cried, and a lot of plans that changed.
Fears can stop us if we give up and let them – or we can choose to do something else instead.
Your boyfriend breaks up with you. And then what? You enjoy more time with your friends and you go meet new people.
You don’t get a job you wanted or you lose your job. And then what? You keep networking and applying for other jobs.
Your weight loss methods aren’t working as you hoped. And then what? You try something different.
We can’t completely stop fear from entering our lives, but life doesn’t have to stop when a fear is realized. We can choose to find an answer to the question, “And then what? It usually just takes one small step to begin working through the fear. I’m not saying it will be easy and we don’t have to do it alone.
No matter our circumstances, God doesn’t give up on us: “I’ve never quit loving you, and I never will. ” Jeremiah 31:3
Are you feeling stuck somewhere in your life? Do you feel like nothing is changing? Are you afraid to make a move because you don’t know what to do next? Consider enrolling in The Journey Training’s next class. There’s your first small step and to answer the question, “And then what?”
“Letting go” seems to be a topic that we frequently hear but rarely grasp. At least that was the case for me, until I had no other options than to completely surrender my life. I was always the kid that had big dreams, big plans and big ideas. I refused to let anyone or anything stand in the way of them. I held on so tightly to the life that I “thought” I wanted, that I was unable to allow what God wanted to flow freely into my existence. In a very short period of a year and a half, every possible thing that I could imagine, went wrong. In that period of time I had 8 close friends pass away, I went through the worst break up of my life, I suffered from severe panic attacks, I had $2,800.00 dollars stolen from me, I had my family completely fall apart, I was abandoned and betrayed by the people closest to me, and I had extreme health complications where I genuinely did not know that I was going to survive. This all came to a head while I was working a six month contract at Disney World… the happiest place on earth right? HA!
For the first time in my life I was completely speechless and alone… or so I thought. There was a day in time while in Orlando when I was driving down the highway and I had a complete mental and emotional breakdown. As this was happening, on the regular, secular radio, a song began to play, entitled “It Is Well” by Bethel Music. I had never heard this song before in my life. In this moment in time, it was as if the hand of God reached down into my car and spoke this song to my soul. This moment and this song, forever changed my life. The bridge of the song says “Let go my soul and trust in him, the waves and wind still know his name.” That phrase “Let go my soul” stuck with me, and began to be a theme of my life. When I would get depressed or lonely, instead of sitting in my self-pity, I would journal, read books and pray for the first time in my life. I embraced the act of surrender. Sometimes your house has to fall apart in order for you to rebuild it with a better foundation. I came to the place in my life where I had no choice other than to let go.
Learning to let go and trust that even the waves and wind in your life know the name of God is a powerful, freeing experience. We so often get locked on what our expectations or plans are. In doing so, we are unable to allow a better, more beautiful life to flow freely to us. This theme has not only continued in my life but opened up opportunities and dreams that I never imagined. Learning to surrender has become a part of my purpose. Letting go and finding your purpose through surrender has become something that I am so passionate about that I even wrote an entire book on the same subject, with the same title as the Spoken Word below. For a young man who dealt with severe control issues, codependency, addiction and self-destructive tendencies, it is ironic and sentimental to see how quickly your life can take a new better direction, when you let go of your expectations of self and others and place your trust simply in the creator of the universe.
I wrote this spoken word originally in my personal journal. During that time I never expected to share it with anyone. Often times God’s “plans” are a little different than ours, right? My book “Let Go My Soul” should be released sometime in 2017. That is a completely unexpected dream that fell into my life, which never would have happened if not for the blessing of my trials.
I went through The Journey Training before that season of my life even took place. Although I still had a lot of growing to do between me and God; the growth, acceptance and awareness that I gained at The Journey Training pointed me in the right direction to handle this season of life and to learn what “taking care of myself first” actually looked like.
I hope you all gain something from knowing a little bit about my story. I pray that through this Spoken Word you are inspired, refreshed and find some freedom through the act of letting go. A great way to begin fighting for your freedom is through The Journey Training. In that training, lives are changed, connections are made, awareness is activated and purpose is redeemed, all through a simple choice to play hard and trust the process.
God bless and go be a light to the world!
I am a courageous and inspirational leader, and man after God’s own heart. My purpose is to inspire the hopeless to find purpose in their struggles, through my story.
In my Simply Lose It Society Coaching Group’s last phone call, we explored some important things. We envisioned what our perfect year would look like next year. When we read our paragraphs to each other on the call, I noticed a huge theme. We all wanted more stability in our lives.
For one is was stability in emotions, for another it was stability in family relationships. There were finances, food, and weight. After sharing, I prompted us all to share what our biggest struggle at the current time is. Sometimes, overcoming our greatest struggle of the moment can start an avalanche that gets us moving to that vision – that perfect year.
Stabilizing the situations
I looked up the definition of “Stabilize” and this is what it said: to make or become unlikely to give way or overturn; make or become unlikely to change, fail or decline
We all wanted to be more “steady” and not so quick to go off the rails! I’ve experienced this in my diet, finances, anger, and many things, as I am sure you have, too. Well, one member said their biggest struggle was uncontrollable eating.
Well, being me, I looked up the definition of control and this is what it said: the power to influence or direct behavior or the course of events; to command.
WOW! Who, in their diet, wouldn’t love to be able to direct their behaviors? How about finances, relationships, or responses to events in our lives? I told her, “What I hear you saying is the pendulum swings way to fast.” This led to my next Google.
How do you slow down your pendulum?
I went right to cuckoo clock repair. What do they do if the clock runs too fast, and the cuckoo show up too much? In my life, my cuckoo shows up way too much, and way to quickly! Well, it said that the longer the pendulum, the slower is swings.
So we just need longer pendulums, or more patience. How can we create a longer pendulum in our lives? I began thinking of how I’d done this before, and this is what I came up with.
If I think I am hungry, I usually head straight for a snack or meal. But sometimes if I get distracted, I forget that I’m hungry. Well, I don’t forget that I’m hungry. I actually realized that I really wasn’t hungry, but I mistook an emotion for being hungry. So this is what I’m going to do: when I feel hungry, I’m going to set a 10-minute timer. In that 10 minutes, I’m going to get busy doing something. When it goes off, if I truly am hungry, I’ll still be hungry. I just created some patience, or a longer pendulum, in my life.
Try it before you buy it
You can do this in many areas of your life! How many impulse shoppers do we have reading this? Well, set that timer for when you want to buy something. You might just figure out you can actually live without it, or you really didn’t want it anyway.
Or how about with your anger? In The Journey Training, we teach that many times we are “making up a story” causing us to get mad. In other words, we connect the dots and come to our own conclusions about someone’s actions. Usually, their intention wasn’t what we first thought it to be. We teach trainees to process their emotions before jumping off the cliff. Many times, we can come to the conclusion that we made up a story, and are able to forgive and move on. That is the equivalent of creating a longer pendulum in your feelings before reacting.
What else can you create a longer pendulum for? Where else in our lives would creating opportunities to be patient would help us?
Most people plan more for their yearly vacation than they do their lives. Why not pause, take a weekend off and create a longer pendulum in your own life, too. One way you could do this is to enroll in the very next Threshold class. You never know what you’ve been missing until you stop to smell the roses. I challenge you to find some areas in your life and create a longer pendulum today!
