Reasons are Relative

Reasons are Relative

Sometimes I don’t get it. Why would anyone like to live in Alaska? It’s cold for most of the year, with Grizzly and Polar bears that will eat you alive. I’ll bet the internet connections are troublesome, too. Yet, there are people who will move there. I wouldn’t ever want to move there.

There are also restaurants I can’t stand. I won’t name the restaurant, but it serves hamburgers. I think it’s just an overpriced burger that isn’t even that great! And yes, I have friends that will say, “Let’s meet at <that burger joint> and talk some things over!” I’m thinking anywhere but there! I hate that place! How can anyone like that place? The fact is, what you don’t know may be why.

Can’t give it back

Once I was at a Christmas Party, and we played Dirty Santa. This means we all brought a wrapped gift with no name and put them under the tree. We then drew numbers and drew from 1 to 45. Number 1 went first. He/she opened the gift. Then it was Number 2’s turn. They could either pick a wrapped present or “steal” an unwrapped one they wanted. I was number 2. I didn’t really want a DVD of a movie I had seen, so I opened a new gift. It was a squeegee; you know, it had a handle and you clean your windshield with it.

My thoughts immediately went to, “Great, I’m stuck with this!” I mean, who would want a squeegee at a Dirty Santa game? As the game went on, I say incredible presents that I would give anything to steal had it been my turn. Pretty soon, each time they called number, I stood and jumped up and down, yelling, “Squeegee! Squeegee! You know you want this squeegee!” Everyone would laugh and I’d sit back down when they’d say, “No way! You’re stuck with that!”

What’s not important to you may be important to others

They called another number, and there I was – jumping up and down – using every sales tactic in the book to get that squeegee out of my hands! And a man stood up and walked right up to me and said, “I’ll take that squeegee, thank you very much!”

The room erupted in laughter! I was thinking, “Is this guy an idiot? What is he thinking?!” Everyone was shocked that he actually took a squeegee! And as he walked away from me, he said, “I’m a truck driver, and my squeegee just broke! This is answered prayer!” The room erupted again, this time in applause!

Don’t judge too quickly

When someone reacts a way you cannot understand, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” When someone enjoys something you don’t enjoy, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” When someone wants something you don’t want, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” Their reasoning may differ from yours, but the reason may be a valid one too them.

I once facilitated a couple who told me a story. They were choosing a house and he wanted brick when she did not. She made up a story that he was just not wanting to give her what she wanted. She finally gave in and they got brick. She just asked herself a simple question: Does he love me and want the best for me? Her answer was yes, so she realized that there’s gotta be a reason for that. Now, 15 years later, she is so glad to have brick! It doesn’t need to be painted or maintained, and it give you better insulations and protection from the weather! When she told him she was now glad, he replied, “I was only trying to give you the best – to take care of our family the best way I could.” And she saw his reasoning – his perspective.

Reasons are relative

The next time someone treats you wrong, there is a reason for that. It’s probably because they were hurt, because hurt people hurt people. When someone cuts you off in traffic, take a breath and realize there’s a reason for that. Maybe it’s because they are rude, but maybe they are in a hurry to get somewhere, scared that if they’re late one more time they might lose their job. Both are possible reasons, but I find peace when I choose to believe the better one. Stress is relieved and I just a happier person.

In The Journey Training, we talk about how we “make up stories” and connect the dots – sometimes jumping to the wrong conclusion. We also talk about how every choice you make has an end result. By reminding yourself there’s gotta be a reason for that, you’ll diffuse arguments, lower your stress, and possibly see things from a different perspective. Our trainees are given dozens of tools like this to help them live a happier, more productive life – giving them the results they want! Why don’t you sign up and see what stories you’ve been making up in your life? You probably just made up a story while reading the last paragraph, too… And that is why you should sign up today!

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The Difference

The Difference


The difference between good and bad are morals.

The difference between light and darkness are lumens.

The difference between black and white is reflection.

The difference between care and abuse is nurturing.

The difference between certainty and confusion is knowledge.

The difference between love and hate is acceptance.

The difference between the truth and a lie is honesty.

The difference between trust and doubt is a choice.

The difference between commitment and rejection is honor.

The difference between helping and hurting is contribution.

The difference between love and hate is compassion.

The difference between beauty and ugliness is perspective.

The difference between a promise and a breach is commitment.

The difference between being happy and being right is pride.

The difference between thriving and want is abundance.

The difference between courage and fear is boldness.

The difference between power and victim mentality is responsibility.

The difference between giving and taking is contribution.

The difference between success and failure is focus.

The difference between reality and acting is authenticity.

The difference between forgiveness and unforgiveness is grace.


Very little separates one thing from another, but the difference between all of them are you and me.



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Here are some interesting facts about time:

  • We all get the same amount per day
  • How we use our time is a choice
  • Once time passes, we can’t get it back

If we each get exactly the same amount of time per day, why can some people do more with it than others? Why are some wildly successful in their careers, family life, and passions while others seem struggle to just get basic things done? I believe the answers can be found in the second fact – how we use the time we are given is a choice.

I sometimes hear people say, “Everything comes easy for him” or “I’d be successful, too, if I’d been given the chance.” I even said, “He got his college paid for and his career handed to him” about one of my friends. And I’ve had people tell me, “Of course you lost the weight. If I had The Biggest Loser, I’d lose the weight, too!” Unfortunately this is all too common. We tend to make excuses of why we don’t have what we really want when it’s really more about how we use the time we are given.

Every person I have talked to who is successful in a business, their family, or their skill tells me the same thing – they’ve put the time in. They were handed a choice of what to do with their time – whether to watch TV or spend some time with their kids. Maybe to play golf on Saturday or to work on that client’s file they’ve wanted to land. Each choice is not right or wrong – but they do have a price & benefit. The price might be your golf game might suffer, but the benefit might be that you land those clients that make your business successful. The price might be that don’t get to find out who was voted off the island but the benefit is a closer relationship with your children.

Remember, the choices aren’t right or wrong, they are just different. What we can’t afford to do is walk around blaming where we are on outside circumstances instead of our choices. When we do this, we fall into a victim mentality – a mentality that we do not control our own destiny, but the things that happen to us do. We need to practice a responsible mentality – that we are where we are because of the choices that we have made. When we practice a responsible mentality, we can do the most important thing: change our choices to change our results! But when we blame our failures on outside circumstance and practice a victim mentality, we give away the very power we have to change our life – our right to choose.

I urge you to stop making up stories about why others are successful in an area and you are not. Ask them how they built their business, built their family dynamic, or became an awesome guitar player – I’ll bet they’ll tell you they chose to work their tails off and put in the effort to get what they really want.

Remember that friend of mine I thought got his college paid for and his business handed to him? Actually, his father made him pay for his own schooling, and he worked long, hard hours for the first 5 years of his business to build it to where it is now – a multi-million dollar company. So when I see him playing golf on Saturday, I know the truth about his success. He earned it – by choosing to spend his time getting what he really wants. And I lost the weight on The Biggest Loser by choosing to work hard – 7 to 8 hours per day – and no one handed me that. I worked for it!

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Whose Fault is That?

Too often we associate “fault” with something negative. Let’s change this up.

  • Where you are in life right now is your fault.
  • Your great marriage is your fault.
  • The position you have at your job is your fault.
  • Your great kids are your fault.

The great relationship you have with your spouse is the result of work, great choices, discipline, humility, patience, and commitment. The position you hold at work is a result of your hard work and high personal standards. Your kids are the result of the investments you’ve made in them.

At some level, everything good that you experience in life is your fault because each good thing that you have that is lasting is the result of focus that you’ve devoted to it.

What have you been investing in?
What will be your fault today?

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