Have you ever had a job to do? I mean one that you had already fixed in your mind how you were going to do it? I mean, no matter what, it was going to be done your way. Or maybe it wasn’t a job. Maybe it was your vacation. Or the car you are going to buy. Or the puppy you are planning to get. Recently I had one – it was a book. But, something got in my way.
Turn on the light
By my bed on a table I have a lamp. Not just a lamp, but my grandmother’s lamp. It is something special to me. It also has something wrong with it. Tony has promised me he’ll fix it when he has the time. When I read a book, I enjoy reading under the light of my grandmother’s lamp before going to sleep.
A while ago I was so excited when I finally bought Arthur Greeno’s book, “Dysfunctional Inspiration.” After all, I was finally going to get to read about the famous brownie incident that Mike Tedford mentions frequently, advising that it, in fact, was something that really did happen!
I lay down to read the book and…my lamp is broken. I turn on the overhead light, but Tony he doesn’t like having it on while watching TV. I’m going to read this book in bed, so I read the first 2 chapters using the flashlight on my phone. This was a pain – not the easiest way to read a book – so I lay the book down by the lamp, and request again to Tony that he fix the lamp so I could read at night.
As the days – then the weeks – go by and I look at Arthur’s book laying unread under the lamp, I get really frustrated with Tony! Why won’t he fix my lamp when he said he would? Several times at Wal-Mart, I almost buy a cheap lamp, but I just can’t bring myself to replace Grandma’s lamp. In my mind, I can’t finish the book without Tony fixing the lamp.
As I lay in bed about 2 weeks ago, I again became frustrated. Then it was as if the lamp came on, only in my thoughts! Every morning, I do a devotion on the couch in the living room. There’s plenty of light to read. I thought, “What if I just MOVE THE BOOK?” So the next morning when I got up, I picked up the book and took it with me. After my devotional time, I read some of Arthur’s book and marked my place. And what seemed like the next day, I finished the book!
It took me over a month to finish Arthur’s book, but it seemed like a day! I got to thinking in a Journey Training way….how was this a reflection of my life? How many times am I so focused on doing it MY WAY, or being “right”, that I lose sight of the fact that there is another, and possibly quicker & easier way to do it? And why was I blaming Tony for me not choosing to read the book. Victim much? Now I pose a question: What might you be putting off? Is there another way to do it? Perhaps instead of waiting for something to get fixed, maybe you just need to “move the book!”
Every month, people enter The Journey Training wanting to be “right” so much that they end up being frustrated and not being happy! By the end of the weekend, they see so many more possibilities of how they can be happy, and that doing it their way isn’t the most important thing! What are you NOT doing? Why not sign up for the next Threshold class and find out?
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What is it that defines you? Is it your Job that defines who you are? Is it your money that defines who you are? Maybe it’s your stature, your looks, or your title? It might even be who you’re married to. If any of these define who you are, BEWARE! They all can be taken away.
Change your definition
If you define yourself by works, material possessions, or even your name (if I were a Kennedy, I might feel entitled), then maybe it’s time for you to change your definition of you!
So what are you worth? That is a loaded question. If you believe your worth is tied to any of these things, you are fighting a losing battle. You will never be able to do enough, have enough money, or even have a title high enough to be immune to the world’s definition of failure. I’m not saying that money, great works, or nice possessions are wrong. But if you place your worth in these things, one of two things usually happens: you’ll either find that there is never enough, or you’ll soon find out that you cannot be content without them.
Define your worth in your purpose
Defining yourself in what you do or what you have will eventually lead to a great big failure. You’ll never be able to “do” enough to feel complete. It is a thirst that can never be quenched, so you’ve got to change your definition from your “stuff” and your “works” to who you were created to be.
It’s not a feeling or a title that will fill your soul, it is serving others that will fill you up! The Beatles had it right when they said, “All you need is love.”
It’s a way of life. You see, if we spend our time trying to do things to make us feel good, or we think that if we have what we want we’ll feel worthy, then we’ve got it all wrong. It’s in our being that defines who we are. That’s why we are not human hav-ings or human do-ings – we are human BE-ings! We must learn to reach deep inside of ourselves to find our worth. Validation cannot come from outside of us. And it can’t come from only you. But alongside a God that has defined you with an infinite worth, you’ll find your purpose.
Two lines stand out to me in The Beatles song, “All You Need Is Love”.
The first is “Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.”
The second is “Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.”
Do you want to change your definition of you? I do. Look around right where you are – not where you wish you were – and find an area to serve or a person to help. Through that you will quench your thirst, and possibly stop trying to quench it with other things.
Each month in The Journey Training we meet people with a false or low opinion of themselves. Often they are oblivious to the changes that need to take place. Invariably, by the end of their Threshold weekend we see them leave invigorated, ready to change the world that they are a part of – right now – which in turn is a stepping stone to being who they really want to be.
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According to the dictionary, here is the definition of handicap:
Handicap [han-dee-kap] noun 1. the disadvantage or advantage itself. 2. any disadvantage that makes success more difficult: The main handicap of our business is lack of capital. 3. Sometimes Offensive. a physical or mental disability making participation in certain of the usual activities of daily living more difficult.
The picture is of my back – my actual back. No funny business, very real.
Life can throw you a curve ball
When I was 11 years old, I was told I had scoliosis. That meant nothing to me at the time. In my book Dysfunctional Inspiration, I wrote “While my life had been getting better, that scoliosis that I mentioned a while back had been getting worse. My mother took me to the doctor before school started, and he decided that the curvature in my spine needed to be dealt with ASAP. That meant I would need to wear a metal brace for the next two years—which were also my last two years of high school.
You’ve gotta be kidding! After everything I’d been through already, after all the hard work I’d put in, this was happening? What girl would ever consider going out with me? It would be like dating the tin man. How was I supposed to enjoy my last high school years? It was all too much. Sitting there in the doctor’s office, I started to cry. Not the feel-sorry-for-yourself kind, but actually more like the really, really mad kind. The kind where the tears stream off your face before they hit your chin kind. I was MAD! Partially at God. It was like, “Hey! I am doing every freaking thing I can, why can’t I get a break!?”
Not that it made a difference. My spine was curving into an “S,” which was not the proper shape for a spine. And it would only get worse. So I was fitted for what’s called a Milwaukee Brace; a contraption that kind of resembles a medieval torture device. It extended from my pelvis all the way up to my chin, and was made up of steel rods, fiberglass, and seat belt straps to hold it in place, and it would latch on the side, to hold my curve in place to keep the scoliosis from getting worse.
And yes – it was every bit as uncomfortable as it sounds. Sitting in a car was almost impossible—the seat pushed up on the brace until it would push up on my chin. I couldn’t even ride in certain cars—if they were too small, they couldn’t accommodate me. At school, sitting at my desk was also a challenge—I had to sit on the very edge of my seat with my legs tucked under the seat just to fit under the desk. Some desks had small openings that would tear my shirts getting in and out.
Of course, physical discomfort was only the tip of this particular iceberg. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you went to high school. In which case, I don’t need to tell you how cruel kids can be. And the sight of me clanging through the halls in my metal cage…well, I guess I was too tempting a target to ignore. They called me R2D2… they called me Robo-Boy…it was not a lot of fun. And it was certainly not the junior year I had envisioned for myself.
But something inside me wouldn’t let me fall apart this time. I had come so far—I had survived my mother’s drinking, my parents’ fighting and moves all over the country. I had found God, improved my grades and turned my life around. Maybe the old me would have given up and decided it was all too hard. But now I understood. I knew I had a choice. And I chose to live my life the best way I could.
Even today, I still have some physical limitations. I have endured many hours of back pain as my body and I wrestle to figure out just what those limitations are. Looking back, if I had to do it over again, and we had the means, I would have treated my scoliosis with surgery. Those muscles still grew, and grew wrapped around the bone, which makes certain things really painful, even today. However, I have adapted, and today I can almost always tell when I am about to have a muscle issue—so I go and rest so I can fight another day.”
Your ability (or disability) doesn’t define your worth
You have total control of your self-worth. When you look at a $100 bill, you don’t question how good it is based on how crumpled, messed up, torn or dirty it is. Its value is its value. One of the places I serve at is The Little Light House . There’s a quote there that I love. It says “our kids don’t have disabilities, they have different abilities.”
Test the limits, know your boundaries
Every one of us has limits. Even though as a teenager we behave like we don’t, we do have limits. (I wish I’d known this when I jumped off that 2nd story balcony with a bedsheet. I was trying to prove you could actually use it as a parachute!) Even though we do, it is important to test them. You need to know where your boundaries are. I know what I can do, and how much I can push it.
My wife hates it when I do stuff like this, but I know if I do something like this I will be fine to a point, then I need to rest. I know exactly what I can and can’t do. I can do this, but if I go golfing, then I am down for a week.
So my handicap doesn’t limit me; it just helps me view things from a different perspective.
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In the days leading up to Easter we often hear about what people are giving up for Lent, but when Holy Week is over, we tend to fall back into our old lives. Often these things end up being somewhat superficial. What if rather than thinking about giving things up, we started looking for things we can give away? This type of thinking involves our hearts, and giving from our hearts always leads somewhere good. If we can somehow separate ourselves from the busyness and distractions of our messy and complicated lives, we often discover things of far greater value.
Giving from the heart helps us do just that.
Many of us may be living with purpose, but are we purposely living? Each week that goes by, I learn more about what this really means. Probably the biggest principle I’ve learned lately is that the more my heart loves to give, the more opportunities I will have to receive. Let that sink in…
The more my heart loves to give, the more opportunities I will have to receive.
I am a mentor for Thrive15.com, the world’s premier online education platform that helps entrepreneurs, aspiring entrepreneurs, and “in-trepreneurs” (entrepreneurial-minded people who work within an organization). Thrive15.com created “1 for 1 HandUp Movement.” With every new Thrive15 membership given away, they give a free subscription to a U.S. Veteran or active-duty service member and their spouse. That’s what I call, “giving from the heart.”
When a farmer plants a lot of good seed, he gets a good harvest in return. When giving from the heart becomes part of our daily thinking, we will be on the lookout for opportunities to give. Chances to give may include simple things like:
Opening the door for someone.
Letting a car in front of you in traffic – and smiling.
Saying “thank you” to your children’s teachers (especially when the kids are older and we don’t know the teachers quite as well).
Connecting with a friend or co-worker that may need assistance or help, mentoring.
If a farmer plants cheap vegetable seeds, he gets cheap vegetables. If he plants premium seeds, he gets premium vegetables.If you want to take giving from the heart a step further, try including a small amount of money. The opportunities to bless others financially are endless. Here are just a few:
Get some $2 bills and give them to a homeless person or the person in front of you in line at Walmart.
Pay for the person behind you in a drive-thru.
Pick up a tray of cookies from Chick-fil-A and take them to work.
I can guarantee when you look back, you will have gained far more than you invested. Giving from the heart changes the giver as well as the receiver. What can you do this week to give to others?
At the time of this post, the video below has had over 9 million views. That’s 9 million people it may have inspired to give from the heart. What does it inspire you to do?
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Earl was an elephant. He loved the fruit from the trees! He would spend much of his time looking for and reaching up to get the best fruit he could see. But there were fruits that were too high for Earl to reach.
Earl would watch the monkeys screaming and playing in the trees. They would eat the fruits that were high up in the trees. Earl wished his trunk was long enough to reach those fruits, but it was only long enough to reach the low hanging fruits. Earl would eat those low hanging fruits, but in his heart he longed for the fruits up high in the tree. They looked bigger and more colorful, and he could imagine the sweet, sweet taste that was just out of his reach.
One day, Earl called to the monkeys, “Hey! I want some fruit! Can you drop one to me please?”
Mindi the monkey replied, “Why? You have fruit right in front of you. Just reach up and grab it!”
Earl shouted back, “But I want the high fruit! I’m sure it tastes much better than the fruit I can reach!”
Mindi shrugged her shoulders and said, “Okay Earl. Here you go!” And she dropped a fruit to Earl.
Finally! Earl had what he had longed for! He looked at the fruit and thought of all the times he ate that low hanging fruit while dreaming of the high fruit! Now he was going to taste the good fruit and finally see what he had been missing out on.
He took a bite and the fruit hit his tongue. He closed his eyes and tasted the sweetness. He chewed and ate the fruit.
Earl was confused. “This fruit isn’t any sweeter than the fruit I’ve been eating! I was so sure it would be better, but it’s exactly the same!”
Mindi climbed down the tree and looked at Earl. “I was wondering why you so wanted the high fruit!”
Earl asked, “Why do you eat the high fruit Mindi? Why do you climb so high to get them when there are fruits that are low?”
Mindi replied, “The high fruit is easiest for me to get, because I live high in the trees. Why would I travel so far to get the low hanging fruit when I can simply reach out and eat the fruit that is within my reach?”
Earl thought about all the time he had wasted dreaming of the high fruit and not enjoying the fruit he had right within the reach of his trunk!
“Never again will I long for something without enjoying what I have. I will dream, but not at the cost of the moment. I’m going to enjoy the fruit I can eat – the low hanging fruit – and truly savor what I have within the reach of my own trunk!”
In your life, what are you dreaming of? Dreams are great, but if you are only able to see the dream, what are you doing with the moment – with right now? Don’t spend your life running so fast toward your goal that you pass by the life you have now. Sometimes the greatest joy can come from the low hanging fruit, so look for that first – and enjoy it – and keep reaching high for the stars as you do! If you are a steward with what you have, more will surely follow!
‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.’ (Matthew 25:21 NIV)
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