“What are you afraid of anyway? ”Let’s face it. We’re all afraid of something. Thunderstorms, snakes, heights, darkness, public speaking – or maybe being alone or taking on a new challenge; whatever it is, fear is fear and we all deal with it at one time or another. Whether we realize it or not, fear often times is a big factor in our lives.
But what exactly is fear? If you break it down, fear can be described simply as:
False
Education
Appearing
Real
Fear from perceptions
My fears may not necessarily be like your fears, but they are no less real. I personally find clowns to be delightful and funny, but have a friend who cowers in fear at even the mention of them. While I don’t believe she will ever encounter an evil clown who intends to do her harm, her perception of clowns prevents her from seeing them any other way.
Is her fear real? Yes, it certainly is.
Fear from experience
A person very close to me had an automobile accident recently and had to get past the fear of being behind the wheel again. The fear of having another accident was very real, but if they hadn’t worked through the fear, they would have been left with no way to get to work and provide for their family. Fear can be so powerful that it can impede your ability to even do some of life’s necessary functions. You can literally become a slave to fear.
Bondage from fear
It seems at times that there is no way to avoid becoming prey to the spirit of fear. Fear is a very powerful emotion and succumbing to it can be very easy. On the other hand, overcoming fear doesn’t seem to be as easy as falling victim to it. Sure, fear exists; otherwise, courage wouldn’t exist. But far too often our fear can be magnetized into something much bigger, causing us to hesitate, or even turn and run! The good news is that much of the time, a fear is a nothing more than a lie from the enemy. You can overcome it and you can break free from it.
“Feel the fear, move through it, do it anyway” – Jillian Michaels
The Journey Training can give you the tools you need to overcome fear that is hindering you from living the life you desire and deserve. Each person that has attended The Journey Training has had to overcome some fear that they had in their lives. Whether it was a fear in the past, a fear of the future, or even a fear of change. Signing up for the Training may have been the first step through fear for many.
Living a life free from fear is possible. How do I know? Because I was once wounded by fear and let it hinder me from living life fully. And sometimes, I just have to look in the mirror and say “What are you afraid of anyway?” Maybe you should let The Journey Training show you how to get the tools to identify and overcome fear. Life lived without being slave to the spirit of fear is a good life indeed.
For much of my life I thought to win I had to go wire to wire. What does that mean? I used to play the horses quite a bit before giving up gambling, and it simply means a horse takes the lead out of the gate and never loses it, winning the race and never being behind. I’ve learned throughout life that things often work out a little different than I thought. Hanging in there can pay off!
It’s a long road, so hang in there
In our book Losing Big, Darci and I revisit our relationship and its ups and downs from the start. So many who know us were surprised to read our book, finding out just how close we were to getting a divorce.
“I never knew anything was ever wrong!” I hear that a lot. Or “I can’t believe you guys went through so much!” Well, we did, and we both hung in there – and it paid off. In the book, I remember a few times when I sensed problems before our marriage, and I almost called the wedding off. Darci remembered the emotional abuse she endured, so much so that she almost left me. We both remembered our addictions and how they were what ran our lives for a number of years, causing us both to almost throw in the towel on each other. But we didn’t. We may have lost a few battles, but we refused to lose the war. We were hanging in there. And it paid off.
We hung in there, and we did the impossible
Before the Revolutionary War, the British Army was the most revered in the world. There was absolutely no way we could possibly win our independence from Britain. Yet we did. General George Washington was a great man, but few know that he lost many more battles than he won. While I read His Excellency by Joseph Ellis, I learned so much about George Washington, and so much about the revolutionary war. There was much that was left to chance, but for those chances to come around, the American Army had to hang in there.
It was by hanging in there and not giving up that we had a chance to win the war. George Washington pondered the choices he had often, and one was an all or nothing battle with Britain. He opted against that, a choice that led to hanging in there long enough to be able to take advantage of a harsh winter the British weren’t used to. We hung in there long enough to use warfare learned from the Indians that help us defeat the greatest army on earth. And we hung in there long enough for the French to finally show up and help turn the tide of the war for good, insuring the creation of this great nation!
When the going gets tough, the tough hang in there!
My mantra during The Biggest Loser was “Lose Your Quit!” It just means never give up. Hang in there until the end. And that’s what I did.
When we went to the Biggest Loser Ranch, Rudy weighed in at 442 and I weighed in at 430 pounds. At the week 4 weigh-in Rudy, Rudy weighed 5 pounds less than I did. In the past, I might have given up, but I hung in there. Rudy was the rabbit, and I was the tortoise. I was hanging in there!
So many times before in my life, I ran the 99-yard dash. Yes, I said the 99-yard dash – quitting when things got hard or seemed impossible, when in fact victory was just around the corner! So many times if I’d kept going, I would have realized my dreams; but I would give up. Well, at 39 years old, I decided to hang in there – and I eventually beat Rudy to set my own records on The Biggest Loser!
Just hang in there – opportunity will come, so be ready!
In The Journey Training, I often see people come in looking ready to give up. Maybe it was tough times or an illness or maybe simple frustration. By the end of the training, as long as they hang in there and finish, they are ready to run that 100-yard dash for the first time in years – or perhaps the first time ever! I’ve heard it said that you get what you prepare for. But I’ve also found that if you just hang on – even when you lose a few battles – opportunity will rear its head. And when it does, those that are hanging in there will cross the goal line and score the winning touchdown! Trust me – I know!
Often in life we are too busy to take a moment and look at things from a different perspective, whether that perspective is ours, or perhaps someone else’s point of view. Harvey Mackay said “When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.” The perspective you select is a choice. Yet far too often we allow ourselves to be the victim of our unwillingness to step back, move, and look at things from a different point of view.
Pictures of Perspective
That’s one of the things I love about photography… looking at something differently. You see, photography allows me to get a new perspective on something I may have seen so many times one way that I’ve become blind to it. In the movie “Dead Poets Society”, English teacher John Keating (played by Robin Williams) inspires his students to stand on a desk in order to see the world from a new perspective. “I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.”
Close to my home is a water detention pond. It was built to hold water in the event of a flooding rain. On nice days, I take walks in the field to clear my head – and I never forget my camera! Most who pass by only see a field of emptiness. However, because I am willing to slow down and change my perspective – even lie down on the ground – I am able to see new things that many will never get to see. There are times when my neighbors or passersby must think I’m crazy – crazy because I am out lying on the ground, squatting at a funny angle, or zooming in close on something they can’t see. I’m doing all of this not because I am seeing something they can’t see, but rather I am taking the time to see what they are missing, or perhaps what they won’t see. I am being intentional about viewing something from a different perspective, and in effect I am seeing things those who don’t choose to see will miss.
Practice your perspectives
Practice seeing new perspectives. Make a choice within the next 24 hours to look at something in a new or different way. It may be a place or thing, or it may even be a situation. Let me suggest a few ways you can change your perspective:
- Stand on a desk or ladder…
- Slow down…
- Change your position… Sit in a different place, or in someone else’s chair or position…
- Walk on the opposite side of the street…
- Take a different route home…
- Ask yourself how someone else might see or feel in a given situation…
- If you have a persistent problem that you have been stuck in, ask yourself how you might be able to look at it from a new point of view…and then choose do it.
Changing perspectives changes things
Perspective is a way you can change anything! After all, if you want to see something change, maybe you simply need to change how you see something.
In The Journey Training , many people come in blind to so many things in their lives – because what you do every day becomes your normal, right? Month after month we see eyes opened to a new way of seeing thing, and in effect lives are changed. We’ve seen businesses revived, marriages healed, weight-loss, increased income, and so many other results of those who have chosen to take a weekend and change their perspective. Think about it, you don’t know what you don’t know until you see it. Why not take a weekend and see those things that may be holding you back from getting all you want in life! Why not begin your Journey Training in the very next Threshold class?
As a person with low vision and poor balance, I’ve heard my whole life, “Watch your step.” My family and friends don’t want me to trip on a curb, uneven step, or my own two feet! Even with the warning, I sometimes still fall. I pick myself up, collect anything that went flying, and move on. It was just a curb, no big deal; the knees are used to it.
On the occasion that I fall down the stairs, however, I’m not as quick to bounce back. I usually end up hobbling on a twisted ankle for days.
One step at a time
When using a GPS, we need to know the destination. While we may like to be aware of the next few steps, we can’t skip steps. When building a house, you can’t put up the walls until you lay the foundation.
Since taking the leap of faith to leave my job, I’ve had the privilege of networking with some incredible people. Each person I meet leads to another opportunity or lead. With each meeting comes quality conversation, new ideas, confirmations, convictions, and valuable relationships.
Overcoming a misstep is a lot easier than overcoming a giant tumble.
Most of the time when I trip, I don’t know the step is there, or I don’t have time to process the warning. If I know I’m going to fall, I will be afraid and will question taking the step.
One of the interviews that was offered to me came with a whole stairway of questions in my mind. Is it feasible to start immediately? Will I move? When will I move? What about this obligation or that obligation? All of these issues were raised in a matter of moments of accepting the interview! I felt so overwhelmed, I fell UP the stairs! I had to stop, allow God to hold my hand, and just go to the interview. After all, that was the only guaranteed step.
“Be aware of your surroundings.”
Yet another phrase I’ve heard most of my life that holds a lot of truth: be aware of your surroundings. When a driver is courageous enough to let me navigate,
I have to pay extra close attention to where we are. Walking by myself or crossing a street requires my entire focus. I can’t get distracted…it never ends well. In the same way if all I think about in an interview is everything that is coming afterwards, I won’t interview well. I have to stay present and aware.
“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”
Like Neil Armstrong, The Journey Training likes to dream big! To make the giant leap to our dreams, we have to take small steps. If your dream is financial freedom, you have to start by writing down your income and expenses. If you want to lose 50 pounds, you can break it down into steps of a few pounds at a time. If you want an awesome job, you have to start with a search!
Where does your stairway lead? What’s your first step? You’re next step?
In the Journey Training, it is amazing what happens in each class. The people that end up in the room together always seem to offer exactly the perspective needed by the class to choose each of their next steps. Alison, and all the graduates of The Journey Training are proof of this. Through their very real struggles and life lessons, the rest of the class learns valuable perspectives of their own lives, allowing them to choose the next step for them with a little more insight. Watching your step can become a lot easier when you have a little perspective. Who knows? Maybe the very next threshold class is your next step!
Have you ever had a job to do? I mean one that you had already fixed in your mind how you were going to do it? I mean, no matter what, it was going to be done your way. Or maybe it wasn’t a job. Maybe it was your vacation. Or the car you are going to buy. Or the puppy you are planning to get. Recently I had one – it was a book. But, something got in my way.
Turn on the light
By my bed on a table I have a lamp. Not just a lamp, but my grandmother’s lamp. It is something special to me. It also has something wrong with it. Tony has promised me he’ll fix it when he has the time. When I read a book, I enjoy reading under the light of my grandmother’s lamp before going to sleep.
A while ago I was so excited when I finally bought Arthur Greeno’s book, “Dysfunctional Inspiration.” After all, I was finally going to get to read about the famous brownie incident that Mike Tedford mentions frequently, advising that it, in fact, was something that really did happen!
I lay down to read the book and…my lamp is broken. I turn on the overhead light, but Tony he doesn’t like having it on while watching TV. I’m going to read this book in bed, so I read the first 2 chapters using the flashlight on my phone. This was a pain – not the easiest way to read a book – so I lay the book down by the lamp, and request again to Tony that he fix the lamp so I could read at night.
As the days – then the weeks – go by and I look at Arthur’s book laying unread under the lamp, I get really frustrated with Tony! Why won’t he fix my lamp when he said he would? Several times at Wal-Mart, I almost buy a cheap lamp, but I just can’t bring myself to replace Grandma’s lamp. In my mind, I can’t finish the book without Tony fixing the lamp.
As I lay in bed about 2 weeks ago, I again became frustrated. Then it was as if the lamp came on, only in my thoughts! Every morning, I do a devotion on the couch in the living room. There’s plenty of light to read. I thought, “What if I just MOVE THE BOOK?” So the next morning when I got up, I picked up the book and took it with me. After my devotional time, I read some of Arthur’s book and marked my place. And what seemed like the next day, I finished the book!
It took me over a month to finish Arthur’s book, but it seemed like a day! I got to thinking in a Journey Training way….how was this a reflection of my life? How many times am I so focused on doing it MY WAY, or being “right”, that I lose sight of the fact that there is another, and possibly quicker & easier way to do it? And why was I blaming Tony for me not choosing to read the book. Victim much? Now I pose a question: What might you be putting off? Is there another way to do it? Perhaps instead of waiting for something to get fixed, maybe you just need to “move the book!”
Every month, people enter The Journey Training wanting to be “right” so much that they end up being frustrated and not being happy! By the end of the weekend, they see so many more possibilities of how they can be happy, and that doing it their way isn’t the most important thing! What are you NOT doing? Why not sign up for the next Threshold class and find out?
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