I’ll never forget it. I was playing a gig and half way through the 3rd set I noticed my zipper was down. How embarrassing! I was rocking out, acting like the coolest thing in the world, and everyone was staring at my underwear, not my bass guitar! I was so embarrassed!
My friend later told me, “I was going to tell you, but I didn’t want to embarrass you.” WHAT?!?! As if NOT telling me saved me any embarrassment! It caused more! I told him, “Next time, TELL ME!”
The fact is you know what you know, you know what you don’t know, but you also don’t know what you don’t know. Let me explain. I know 2+2=4. I also know that I can’t speak German. But there are a number of things that I don’t know even exist. In many areas I’ve been walking around in ignorance, making decisions and not even knowing they were destroying my dreams; just like playing that gig with my fly down. If someone knew something you didn’t know that might help you, wouldn’t you want to know it? Are you sure?
Well, I can tell you that there are things about you that, if someone told you, might hurt you. I remember the day it all came to a head. I was sitting on the couch when Mary Claire walked in. She said, “Daddy, I want to be just like you.” I was flying high then! Who wouldn’t want to be just like me, right? She continued, “I want a belly just like yours.” That line echoed throughout my brain. You see, I was 460 pounds, and my stomach was 69 ½ inches around. That is C-R-A-Z-Y! I got angry. Not with her – with me. I stared at myself in the mirror. I didn’t like the man staring back at me.
I was a mean man; angry at myself and in turn angry at everyone else! I treated my family like dirt, and most of all I was probably the poorest role model my kids could have! Oh God! Mary wanted a belly – JUST LIKE MINE! NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, that did hurt, but I can say that becoming aware of how my anger and obesity was affecting my family, a change became possible – I no longer didn’t know what I didn’t know. Of course I knew I was obese, but I was oblivious to what my obesity was causing in my life and in the lives of those around me. After Mary told me, I could deny it or I could weigh it. I weighed it heavily – and I cried.
She was right. She did want to be just like me – and I didn’t ever want that to happen.
What are you walking around with that you don’t know about? How do you come across to people? Are you rude without even realizing it? Are you running scared and hiding out from your responsibilities? Or is your fly down? One way to find out is to ask. Simply find someone and ask for a little feedback. Ask them how they see you. Ask them what you can work on. Find out what you possibly don’t know.
I sent a mass-text to many of my friends a few years ago. I asked, “Name my greatest strength and my biggest weakness.” What I found was that many of my friends gave me the same feedback – both in strengths and weaknesses. The feedback “impatient” came back the most. Boy is that true! I am so impatient with my family, friends, in almost anything I do! I cut people off mid-sentence. I get angry and aggravated very quickly. I sure need patience. That feedback has helped me in my life. Did it hurt to hear it? Sure! Was it helpful to hear it? YOU BET!
Don’t fret when people give you feedback. Tell them you’ll weigh it carefully, and that you acknowledge their experience of you. Then weigh it and deal with it. Hearing those areas in which we are weak can help us strengthen them and get exactly what we want! And we might not play a gig with our fly open.
The definition of Beginning is as follows: “The point in time or space at which something starts.” Many of us see our lives as a dash – that dash on our headstone between when we were born and when we die. Although our dash is our entire life, I believe our life is like an investment: past results do not guarantee future performance. If you look at the fine print in the top mutual funds they will all have contain disclaimer. Why? Because the future is unwritten, and that’s a good thing!
We all fall down. The stock market rises, and it corrects – and sometimes even crashes! It’s a part of life. Our crash doesn’t define us or determine our future. How we respond to our crash defines us and determines our future. If you’re in a crash or have experienced one in your past, and don’t like where you are now, the good news is you can begin again.
I doubt anyone reading this has never felt hopeless at some point; hopeless in your finances, marriage, faith, health, weight, or maybe your job. That’s one thing we all have in common. Hopelessness is a direct negative result of the feeling pain. The good thing about pain is that it can also have a positive result: healing and growth. Healing and growth happens when we look at our pain – our crash – and we learn from it. If past performance guaranteed future results, we’d be finished. Thank God we can begin again! So, the million-dollar question is: How do we begin again? Well, I can tell you how I did it – by losing my regrets.
One day on The Biggest Loser, I made a terrible choice. I played a game that resulted in me having to eat a 780 calorie cupcake – and that’s not good when you’re in a weight-loss competition! I made a mistake! I crashed. I immediately began beating myself up about my bad decision. Coach Mo noticed this, came up to me and gently said, “Someday you’re going to have to be okay with your choices.” Later that day, Jillian Michaels, my trainer on NBC’s The Biggest Loser, had me on the treadmill and was killing me when she asked, “Danny, what’s wrong? Something’s bothering you.”
I got off the treadmill, sat down, and told her, “Jillian, I am so stupid. I played the game, ate the cupcake, and now I’m in trouble. I had to eat 780 calories more than the others and I may go home. I am so stupid!”
She replied, “So you’re going home, huh?”
“I could!”
Jillian said, “Well, that depends on you, not your stupid decision.” She went on to explain to me that holding on to regrets – the decisions that made you crash – will be your downfall, not the decisions themselves! You take your good decisions and run with them! You take your bad decisions and learn from them – use them to fuel your next step. That will determine your future.
That day, I grew – The pain and regret I felt began to cause hopelessness, but I worked through it and found healing & growth. I decided to begin again, right then and there! I laid down my regrets and worked harder that week than ever before – and I set a record on The Biggest Loser by losing the most weeks in a row of double digits, 7 weeks, beginning that very week! I dealt with my past, lost my regrets, and I was able to begin again.
What have you carrying from your past? Are there things you need to lay down and begin again? The Journey Training can help. I began losing my regrets in my training, and you can begin again with the next Journey Threshold class! Just make a new decision; a decision to lay down your regrets and begin again!
I recently performed at the finale show for Tom McCloud’s “Lose It for the Kids.” Tom lost 95 pounds in 10 months while working out with me this year, but that’s not the amazing thing! Yes, losing 95 pound in 10 months without surgery, diet pills, or some extreme plan is amazing in itself, but there’s much more to the story.
I knew Tom from a few years before when he interviewed me after winning The Biggest Loser for his magazine Community Spirit. One morning last year I was working out at Fitness Together Jenks/Riverside with Michael Watkins when Tom showed up to take some pictures of me for a monthly column that I write. When I saw him, I gently asked, “Tom, why don’t you get in here and hook up with Michael and lose some weight with me?” His answer: “Well Danny, I broke my neck a few years back and I don’t think I could.” I replied with, “Tom, that will stop you as long as you let it stop you. We can work around that.” It took a while, but he finally got inspired and gave me a call. This is where it gets exciting.
You see, Tom devised a plan. He thought, “If I’m going to do this, why not make it something BIG!” He asked me to be his workout partner, and devised “Lose It for the Kids,” so his weight-loss journey could benefit someone in need. He made a website and asked people to pledge money per pound he lost for Contact Missions, a ministry of Tulsa Neighborhood Network who recently began a campaign for outreach to kids in West Tulsa who are underserved. They tutor, mentor, and coach them, providing school programs and expanding their subsidized summer-long camps focused on building both faith and character. He began to see how his losing weight could also benefit those kids – which is a product of THINKING BIG! He raised over $50,000 for the kids, and lost almost 100 pounds to boot! Now that’s a WIN-WIN!
You see, thinking small might be just thinking of him. Why think small when you can THINK BIG? What have you got to give? Some may have money, while others may have time. Some may bring a gift like music, while others bring the gift of love and service. What do you have that can benefit others? Whatever you have, you can use it for contribution to someone else while it also accomplishes what you set out to do.
Winning The Biggest Loser has provided me with a platform I never thought I would have. I get to speak all over the world (7 countries & 45 states) to help motivate and inspire others to reach for their dreams. I am blessed to be able to pay it forward and help others in my Bootcamp here in Tulsa, where Christy C. has lost 70 pounds in 4 months and Jeff S. has lost 80 pounds. I have taken what I have and given it to others.
My friend Arthur Greeno once told me, “People want to be a part of something BIG.” I urge you to THINK BIG. What is it you can do for others while you achieve the success you have been striving for? Arthur is a part of Keith’s Ice Cold Lemonade Stand, where this summer he helped a young man named Keith, who has Cerebral Palsy, raise over $120,000 for The Little Lighthouse – simply by selling lemonade. Yes, Keith’s could have been a single lemonade stand, but Arthur chose to THINK BIG, get sponsors and volunteers, and make a BIG difference for others.
The facilitator’s of The Journey Training found freedom we could never imagine, causing our vision and lives to become MUCH BIGGER than we ever thought possible. We decided to pay if forward and create The Journey Training in Tulsa, Oklahoma. If you want to THINK BIG, why don’t you sign up for the next Threshold class at www.thejourneytraining.com? What have you got to lose – except the small thinking!
In review, we’ve talked about your WHY, your WHO, and your WHAT. I want you to grasp tightly to the reasons WHY you are doing something. If you have a WHY, then the work isn’t just work – it has purpose! Also, you can’t be all you can be alone – you need some WHO’s in your life to teach you, support you, and help you! Also, you need to know exactly WHAT it is you want or you will just be chasing the wind!
Today, let’s talk about your WHEN. I often hear people say, “When we have enough money, we’ll get married.” I’ve got news for them – that hardly ever happens! Why would you let your net-worth affect the date you begin spending your life with the one you love? I also hear, “I’ll start my diet on Monday – after I eat this cheeseburger.” Tomorrow never comes and you’re just wasting time. If you could get exactly what you want, why would you put it off? You’re robbing yourself of time with what you want!
Your WHEN happens when you decide to take the first step. It’s not when you stand on the scale and hit your goal weight! It’s when you make a decision to change. It’s not when you pay the last debt payment! It’s when you cut up the cards and start paying more than the minimum payment. The length of the journey is not what is important – it’s the journey itself. The size of the step isn’t important, either. It’s simply taking one – one single step that begins a new direction, bringing you closer to where you eventually want to be! This can be with any goal; diet, business, relationship, or spiritual goal!
Too many times we are waiting for the right time, or the right place, or the right economy, or something else to begin our journey. Does what you want depend on external situations? If so, change your mind about that! Here are a few facts for you to consider:
- Proctor & Gamble was started during the Panic of 1837, the greatest economic decline since the birth of the country! Proctor & Gamble’s revenue in 2013 was $84.17 Billion.
- The three founding companies that merged in 1911 to form IBM, all were founded during the Long Depression of 1873-1896.
- General Electric was born during the Panic of 1873 which shut down the NYSE for days! The Panic didn’t stop the company who in 2013 had revenues of $146 Billion Dollars. Not bad, huh?
- General Motors was founded after the Panic of 1907, which caused major runs in which many financial institutions did not survive.
- FedEx was founded during the Oil Crisis of 1973. Really? A delivery company founded during a fuel crisis? Whoulda thunk?
My point is to stop making excuses and start taking steps. Your WHEN is today! You don’t have to know the whole plan! You don’t even have to know half the plan. You just need to know the dream or goal in your heart, and then find the next right thing to do. Your Journey begins with a single step.
In continuing with my last two blogs, perhaps some of you aren’t even at the point that you know WHAT it is that you want to do or achieve. When we don’t quite know WHAT it is that we want, it can be quite hard to get it! Think of your life as a journey, and you have a GPS (or as Herman Cain calls it, Guiding Principles of Success). WHAT do you need to know? Well, the first WHAT is your current coordinates!
We all want to go somewhere, but if you don’t know where to start, how can you take the first step? I always tell people who join my Simply Lose It™ bootcamp to weigh in before beginning to get a starting point! Otherwise, you could be making progress towards your goal and not even know it! We need small victories to continue to motivate us toward our goal! Otherwise, we just might quit when we feel defeated. We also may even be sabotaging our success and moving backwards! How would you even know if you never acquired your current coordinates?
Second, you need to know your destination. If you use your GPS without placing your ending coordinates as the destination, you simply have something that shows you where you currently are; not where you are going. To make progress in your Journey, you must have your WHAT, or a specific goal in mind. How you get there may go left, right, even a few steps back at times, but you should be continually making progress. The speed isn’t always important, and sometimes you have to stop to smell the roses, but making some sort of progress is important! So the second WHAT you need is your goal.
The third WHAT you need is a plan. It may be a complex plan, or just a simple plan! But there must be a plan. I see many people that want something, but they have no idea how to get there, and that’s okay, but you need to figure that out before you embark on your journey. Otherwise, you may be going in the wrong direction, or even creating things you’ll need to fix or change later. Once, my dad asked me to dig the grass out of an area in the yard and level it for our new above ground pool. There was a trailer I was going to put the dirt in, so I just began to dig. I threw the dirt towards the trailer, and when I was finished, about a third of the dirt actually made it in the trailer. Then I had to do twice the work to finish the job! Why didn’t I take the time and devise the plan to get the dirt in the trailer the first time? This is what you may be doing by not pausing to devise a plan – a business, weight-loss, marriage, or savings plan. Find help if you need it, get the information you need, and devise a plan!
The fourth WHAT you need is the courage and motivation you’ll need to stay the course. It may look like you aren’t making progress at times, but if you know where you began, know where you are going, have a plan, and take periodic spot checks to assure you are on course, you’ll find the faith that every step you are taking is making a difference! Some days you’ll find it harder than others to get moving, but always remember that WHY we talked about a few weeks ago and that should keep you motivated. Sometimes the next step you need to take will be a little scary, but again, remember that WHY and also call on your WHOs to keep you motivated, accountable, and to help you continue along the journey!
So WHAT are your starting coordinates, WHAT are your ending coordinates, WHAT is your plan, and WHAT will keep you motivated and give you courage to make it happen? With these, you’ll soon be closer than you ever dreamed to WHAT you really want!
In The Journey Training, we believe that goal setting is important. In each class we help people set goals and find action steps to take to begin. If you’ve been having trouble moving forward, join the next Threshold class and begin your Journey now!
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