As we approach this week’s day of Thanksgiving, each of us will most certainly be taking time to pause and reflect on the blessings in our lives. When we enter into gratefulness, we open ourselves to the abundance of God’s love and His gifts, such as peace, faith, and joy. We naturally feel the impulse to express those feelings and what better way to bless ourselves and others than a simple expression of thanking them for being them. Not only can this lead you in growing spiritually and increasing your grace for others, it is said to be beneficial for mental and physical health. It’s a win-win!
Don’t wait to give thanks
All of this is done while being mindful of what others don’t have. We would be remiss if we don’t also pause to reflect and pray for France in the wake of the Paris terrorist attacks. It is a painful reminder of the changing world we live in today, as well as the fact that none of us truly know if we will have another day with those we love. So don’t wait to express your gratitude. “Gratitude turns what we each have into enough.” (Melody Beattie)
Give thanks to heal
President Lincoln urged Americans to pause and give thanksgiving and praise in 1863. In the midst of our nation being ripped apart by civil war, he issued the Thanksgiving Proclamation declaring it a national holiday. He stated, “It has seemed to me fit and proper that they (gracious gifts from God) should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American People.” He also asked Americans to lift up in prayer “to His tender care” those who had suffered from the war and to ask for Him to “heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it … to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and union.” Certainly his statements and sensibilities still ring true for not only our people and nation, but also our nation’s position in world affairs today.
Don’t allow Thanksgiving and gratitude to be “just a day” but a “way to live!” Feeling an increased sense of gratitude and all of the blessings that come with it is just one of the benefits of attending The Journey Training. It is a great way to bless yourself and those around you!
Give thanks for each new morning with its light
For rest and shelter of the night
For health and food, for love and friends
For everything thy goodness sends.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
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When I am operating within my mission, it keeps me going.
How can I teach when I do not know?
Being stuck does not allow me to learn.
How can I inspire when I am stuck in a hole?
I need to keep pushing forward.
How can I serve when I am stuck?
Look at it this way; if you were a waiter, could you serve the table if you are sitting in your chair?
As a leader, it is my role to set the example for others; getting stuck is not what I choose to do. WAIT, unfortunately sometimes it does, so what do I do?
I surround myself with people that energize me.
I am not looking for those who are in a pity party; otherwise I will end up in the pit with them. If you put a crab in a bucket and it can climb out of that bucket, it will climb out. But if you put two crabs in the bucket, when one of the crabs tries to climb out, the other will pull it back in. Neither will ever escape. It doesn’t matter that it’s possible to escape, the crabs will hold each other back from doing so, that’s why its important to choose driven and like-minded people to be in the bucket with you. Thrive15.com is an “edutainment” company created to help you succeed; I choose to be surrounded by mentors that help me stay driven.
Listen to music that uplifts me.
There are certain kinds of music that uplifts our spirit, others that supports our misery. I choose uplifting. I also listen to soundtracks from movies. I think and you think of happy things, it changes your mood.
I go for a walk
When you exercise it releases endorphins, and it puts you in a better mood. I was recently on a walk, and irritated by my own decisions. I came across this HUGEMOUNGOUS, UGLY spider. It was eating its own web. I sat there for 30 minutes. No radio, no TV, no distractions other than the occasional bird, or dog barking, and watched it. It was almost like the spider was taking up the webbing that it had made, and put in the wrong place and was eating it. I read later that spiders do that to get back the energy and protein it needs. It helped me realize that some of the decisions I made may have been wrong, but I can learn from them, and they can make me stronger.
The solution here is when you get stuck, get moving! Take action! Hiding, going to bed, addictions, watching TV, all of these are easy ways to stay in your rut, in fact they are ways to continue to stay stuck.
When you are ready to make a change, you will take action. This is one of the many reasons I am a HUGE supporter of The Journey Training. You want to get unstuck, go thru this training. I will guarantee this will help you. Why? Because you are taking action, taking a step.
Being stuck is a just that – stuck! Want to be Unstuck? Get UNSTUCK!
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At the beginning of the year, someone asked me a question – a question that seemed unnatural to me. “What do you want?”
“What do I want?”
I was thrown off guard because I naturally think in terms of how I can make someone else’s life better, easier, or less worrisome. When the question was aimed at me, I didn’t know what to say. After much consideration I finally declared what I wanted, “No pain!” That seemed like an easy answer because I was in my fifth month dealing with shoulder pain. Major pain! I was four weeks out from a surgery that was more involved than first thought and the surgery came after an intense four months of physical therapy.
My answer was meant to appease the person asking it because it was obvious that I was in a lot of physical pain. Yet my answer avoided the real source of my pain – emotional pain. A betrayal that had caused me so much pain that I chose to go numb rather than to feel it. If I felt it I’d have to deal with it, and I didn’t want to deal with it because it was going to take work – a lot of work.
Finding your way requires direction
Life is a journey, and the first step in a journey is to know your destination. My destination was “No Pain,” which may be unrealistic for many reasons I won’t go into here. So I changed it to a journey of healing, with the final destination of health.
Once you know your destination you can begin on the path to it. When there is pain blocking your path, you tend not to head that way. This was the difficulty in my case. Pain was blocking my path, preventing me from arriving at my destination. But in order for me to be free from the pain, I needed to face the pain and deal with it.
Flats require attention
Facing and dealing with the pain in my journey was going to be like driving a hundred miles, getting a flat tire along the way, and continuing to drive on the flat trying to get there. It only causes more damage and could make the car inoperable.
If I pull over but don’t change the flat, I’ll remain stuck and never reach my destination. If I pull out all of the tools needed to change the flat, but if I don’t use the tools, I sit still on the side of the road, watching everyone else getting closer to their destinations.
Fix-a-flat and get moving!
Sometimes fixing a situation in your life requires an extra hand – someone to come alongside you who has the tools and ability to help you. That is what The Journey Training did for me. It connected me with people who have the tools I need, so as I am on my way, I can fix the “flats” along the way. It is an empowering, freeing and self-strengthening opportunity that I recommend for anyone to attend. If you’re too afraid to begin, or you’ve begun and have a flat, reach out the The Journey Training and get the tools you need to help you along your way today! Your destination awaits!
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I’ve always wondered why rules are so hard to follow. Have you ever felt that way? It seems that when there is a rule, I gravitate to it. The rule is like the front porch light, and I’m the bug – frantically trying to break free but trapped by its gravity!
I was driving my daughter’s friend home when we came to a stop light. I glanced over and saw a really BIG sign. It said “NO TRESPASSING! VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED.” I said to her, “Look at that sign! That is the biggest no trespassing sign I have ever seen!” It was painted on two 4’x8’ plywood boards! She looked at me with her eyes wide open and said, “That makes me want to go in there!”
Why is this? Why are rules so hard to follow?
You become what you focus on
I once heard a story. There were two young boys who loved to visit their grandpa. He had a great big backyard with toy tractors and tools, and they were always excited to go to his house. When they arrived this day, they quickly asked, “Grandpa! Can we go play in your backyard?”
“Sure you can boys! But just don’t spit on my bushes!”
The two boys looked at each other in confusion, then shrugged and sped out the door. The grandpa walked over to the window and peeked through the blinds. The two boys walked down the steps and looked over at the bushes. They looked at each other, grinned, and before they ran to the tractors they spit on the bushes, which they would have never noticed had Grandpa not mentioned them.
You see, when we set rules to follow, we bring to the forefront of our thoughts and mind those things we shouldn’t do. In my own life, and in the lives of those whom I coach, I’ve found that the best way to break a rule is to make one. We all gravitate to what is forbidden. Adam and Eve did it in the Garden. God told them they could eat of any tree except the one. And we know the outcome of that story!
I had lunch with Jillian Michaels in Los Angeles and said to her, “Jillian, I can’t shake it! The more I think to stay away from certain foods, the more I seem to want them!” She said to me, “Danny, I have one all-natural, Newman’s Own dark chocolate peanut butter cup every single day of my life. Why? Because if I deprive myself of it I will only want it more – then I eat 2 or 3 or even 4! Don’t deprive yourself of the things you love – just work them into your plan and stick to the plan!” I’ll tell you, I’m not the thinnest guy on the block right now, but I’m not 300, 400, or even 500 pounds anymore either. And it has to do with that plan Jillian was talking about.
Set standards, and make them a part of your plan
If we tend to become what we focus on, why would we want to focus on what not to do? Let’s focus on the plan – let’s focus on what we need to do! Let’s set some standards.
Let’s look at the definitions of standard: “A level of quality or attainment. An idea used to measure the norm (normal) in comparative evaluations. Accepted as normal or average.”
When we set standards, we raise the bar, creating a target to shoot for. When we set rules, we create governing boundaries for ourselves, or curbs, to stay within. Rules limit our performance instead of creating a higher standard to attain. And in my experiences, when I’m shooting for something, I am much more motivated to achieve it.
Know the standards, find the target
When I was at The Biggest Loser ranch, we learned which foods to eat. We learned to add water to our diet and to increase our steps every day. We also created a standard of workout that expanded our lives. One of the running jokes about being a Biggest Loser Alumni is that once you’ve been a contestant, walking distance means a completely different thing. I used to think walking distance was 600 feet, but now it means 5 miles!
Sure, we knew to stay away from certain foods, but more than that we knew the foods to gravitate to; and when we eat the right food and drink plenty of water, the wrong foods don’t even come into the picture. You see what I mean? Sure, we avoided having certain foods within our grasp; we just left them off the grocery list.
Standards work in all areas of life
Standards work in your office or family, with your team, or in any area of life! I once heard Mike Krzyzewski, the Duke University head coach and coach of several U.S. Olympic basketball teams explain something. How can you coachThe Dream Team and have several huge egos such as Michael Jordon, Scotty Pippen, Karl Malone, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Patrick Ewing, and Charles Barkley, and have them work together as a team? How do you tell them to be on time or adhere to a curfew? These are the greatest names in basketball! Well, Coach Mike explained that at the first meeting, instead of laying out rules to the team, HE asked them what standards should be created for the team. They went around one by one and shouted them out: “Be on time!” “Get your sleep!” and on and on…until they set the standards for their team themselves. Because they had ownership in the standards, they adhered to them. Coach Krzyzewski said that if he’d set rules for them, they would have gone out of their way to break them and prove who was in charge.
This can work in your own life, too. In your family, let your kids take part in setting the family standards. In your office or business, let your employees or team take part. Their ownership of the standards will give them a voice, and in turn motivation to adhere to them without so many rules. And in your own life, don’t deprive yourself of all enjoyable things, but set standards that include some of those things, and more importantly the things that will get you where you want to go. You might just find that the rules will fade into the background and not become the focus when you are busy shooting for your standards, and in turn shooting for the stars!
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Last week I was speaking to a group of 6th grade classes at a middle school about dreams. Giving up on my dreams was a large part of how I ended up almost 500 pounds, feeling helpless and hopeless almost giving up on everything. My introduction video says at 17 seconds in, “When I was 17 years old, I was a rock star. I was lookin’ good and feelin’ good; I feel like somebody’s stolen my dream. This thing has stolen my life – and I want my life back!”
There’s so much truth in that statement. My passion has always been music. I went to my first concert at 16, saw the band on stage and the crowd, and made my decision: I was going to be a rock star.
Now, we all know that the odds of being a rock star were not in my favor. But I had an ingredient that could sure help: passion.
Opportunity Knocks
I went right home, dug a dusty guitar out of the closet, and went to work! I began learning melody lines from my favorite songs. After a few weeks, I heard some of my school mates had a band, so I went to watch them and was really impressed.
The week before I had just bought a bass guitar at a pawn shop at the advice of someone who told me, “You’re playing bass, not guitar. Guitar plays all of the strings at once, and you’re only playing 1 note at a time.” So I ran to the pawn shop and bought beat up, hollow-body bass and amplifier. The band I was watching finished rehearsal, and the bass player had to go. I asked, “How many gigs have you played?”
“None. We’ve only learned 6 songs. We want to learn Detroit Rock City by Kiss, and The Trooper by Iron Maiden, but Greg can’t play the bass lines.”
“I could play those bass lines,” I calmly declared, knowing I had barely been playing bass for a week. After convincing them of my bass playing prowess – which was completely falsified – they said, “Okay, Come back next Saturday and we’ll play those songs.” Boy did I have my work cut out for me! But I practiced until my fingers hurt until late every night, and the next Saturday I replaced Greg as the bass player in that unnamed band! I was really going to be a rock star! 3 months later we played a dance at school and became rocks stars on the high school level!
Dreams are the driver, opportunity is the road
Over the next 10 years, I played with several bands. I soon found myself on stage with Donny Osmond in front of thousands. Later, the band I was playing for actually knocked New Kids on the Block out of the number one singing group in the nation. We were on the Billboard Top 40, and had a record contract with RCA. After that opportunity didn’t pan out, a 3-man band I was in recorded an album and was ready to release it worldwide. It was bootlegged overseas, and the rug was pulled out from underneath me again. Later I found out Unleash the Dog was the #1 band in Greece in 1996, beating out Metallica and Rob Zombie – but we never even saw a cent of the profit.
At that point, another opportunity was sure to present itself, but I gave up. This is what I talked to those 6th graders about last week – not giving up on their dreams. My mantra since The Biggest Loser has been Lose Your Quit. There will always be another opportunity, so never give up.
Dreams can look different, so take the opportunities that come your way
At 39, I felt like my music career was over. My friends in that band in the 90’s (PC Quest) had gone on to do great things. Chad was the lead singer of Shiny Toy Guns, Steve was a studio musician and performer in LA, Drew was on tour with several artists, and I was left wondering what happened. Bob from Unleash the Dog was now in Arizona and was the national head of music instruction for Fender, and I could go on and on. They didn’t give up.
I only saw my dream of a rock star one way. Others kept their passion and brought it to the opportunities that came to them while I simply gave up. After going to my experiential training in 2008 and re-igniting my passion, I made it onto the cast of The Biggest Loser. The funny thing is, on that show I wrote new music. It provided me an opportunity to awaken those dreams once again – just not exactly how I thought.
I wouldn’t be a rock star, but I would be living my dream with passion! Since the show, I have spoken in 5 countries and 45 states in the US – to over a million people – and each time I close with two songs: the first I ever wrote called I can’t forget about you and Second Chance that I wrote on the show. I’m not a rock star, but I am living my dream, speaking and passing that passion of not giving up to others. And as I played Second Chance last week to those 6th graders, it was a dream fulfilled.
Where is your opportunity?
Your dreams are real, and they are possible. Those 6th graders raised their hands and told me what they wanted to be. One in the front row said, “I want to play in the NBA!” He was one of the shortest kids in the crowd, and that was a very lofty goal. I told him, “Never give up on that dream! And take the opportunities that come your way and you’ll live that dream! It might look different than you think, but it can happen. You might be a coach, or an announcer on TV for the NBA, or you very well might be the next Kevin Durant. Who knows?”
I thought about the movie The Sand Lot. Bennie made it to the big show, and Scotty Smalls made it as the LA Dodger announcer. They both realized their dreams – just in a different way.
So that vision that has been placed in your heart is true. Don’t waste an opportunity to bring the passion you have to the opportunities that present themselves. Even if it looks different that you thought, you can be a rock star!
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The Biggest Loser was the most competitive season of my life. Before I made it onto the cast of Season 8 Second Chances, my doctor painted me a grim outlook. “Danny, at your current weight, you’ll have beaten the odds if you live to see 50.” I was scared – I was 38. The 12-year timer of my life began ticking in my head. It was time for a response. They say desperate times call for desperate measures, so I wrote in my journal that I would win The Biggest Loser and then I signed and dated it July 19, 2008.
When I looked down at what I had written, thoughts bombarded me; there’s no way and even if you made it, you couldn’t win, just to name a few. So I did something even more daring. Without thinking, I stood in front of 60 people and claimed “I’m going to win The Biggest Loser! I’m going to get on that show and lose more weight than anyone in history!” For a moment, you could have heard a pin drop.
I’m sure they were thinking those same thoughts that I was at first, but then someone said, “Go for it!” and the class erupted in applause. Okay, I had 60 people who were willing to support me, now I just had to follow through and continue to support myself.
Winning doesn’t mean create casualties
In my past, winning usually came with someone else’s casualty. That was just a part of the game, right? What I’ve learned is that it isn’t my job to create casualties to get what I want, it’s just my job to win – and that usually means I am first competing with myself; my biggest obstacle was me.
To win, I had to focus on the one thing I could change: me. If I focused on the game play, then I would react and not respond to my circumstances. If I focused on others, I’d be comparing myself to them, perhaps becoming discouraged if I hit a plateau. The key was me.
Winning doesn’t mean beating others
I’ve heard it over and over: “Even if you lose The Biggest Loser, you’ve still won.” I used to cringe at that statement! You see, my personality is that of a Lion. I win – and usually at any cost. I’ve come a long way from that way of thinking.
A while back I heard something from a participant of a team in a multi-team competition. They had set a goal to beat another team’s score. Their entire focus was winning a single battle, and not the competition. Wouldn’t it have been better to set a goal to win the competition? After all, if you beat the team, you could still lose the competition. But if you win the competition, you’d accomplish what you wanted anyway – and the focus would not be on someone else’s demise, but on their success.
Healthy competition breeds greatness
When I got to The Biggest Loser Ranch, I set a goal to stay above the yellow line. If I stayed above the yellow line, I couldn’t be voted off. So my focus was just to not be in the bottom two. Usually, your win is consisted of many small battles. If you look too far ahead and take your eyes off the battle, chances are you may lose the opportunity to win.
In the middle of Season 8, we went to teams. Then I could stay above the lowest two and still be voted off! I had to change my strategy. Now I needed immunity, which meant losing more percentage of weight than anyone else. I achieved that goal and set a record that still stands today on The Biggest Loser.
Near the end, it became clear that Rudy was the only one who could possibly beat me. My goal still wasn’t to beat Rudy, but to hit my goal weight. I knew that no matter what Rudy did, if I hit my goal weight I would win the show. Instead of focusing on his loss, I focused on my win. It did help to imagine Rudy right behind me on the way to the finish line. It kept me running!
Rudy and I were like Tiger Woods and Ernie Els in PGA Golf. One year, Ernie Els took 2nd in every major in Golf. He took second because Tiger Woods won all of them! Some might look at Tiger’s year and miss how great Ernie’s was. My perspective is that Tiger and Ernie’s competition lifted both of them higher than they would have performed otherwise. Rudy set the record for pounds lost at 234 pounds. Five minutes later, I set the record for pounds lost and highest percentage lost in history. We both were able to achieve our very best because we ran together in healthy competition.
Winning with integrity makes a champion
Rudy and I had an agreement: we would never vote each other off the show. Near the end, Liz asked me, “Danny, what will you do if Rudy falls below now? We’re almost at the end and he’s the only one who can beat you. It’s $250,000 for your family at stake.” When she put it like that, I began to re-think my agreement and became conflicted.
The next morning I woke up and pulled out my bible and turned to Proverbs 28:6 (NLT) and read, “Better to be poor and honest than to be dishonest and rich.” This reinforced my promise. I won’t truly win if winning means breaking my word. Keeping your integrity is the key to winning with honor.
Choose to win the right way
To sum it up, remember that you are your biggest competitor, so keep your focus on changing you and not beating others. Winning and achieving your goals doesn’t have to create casualties on your way, and everyone can benefit from your win. Keep your integrity along the way, because the trophy will rust but the memory of your broken word will last a lifetime.
Each month inThe Journey Training we teach people that winning in life can include everyone. Countless people come to our training believing that for them to win, others must lose. Also, an awareness of their own self-sabotaging decisions become clearer, causing them to navigate to their success much easier. I encourage you to enroll in the next Threshold class and begin your journey to your greatest win today!
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President Lincoln urged Americans to pause and give thanksgiving and praise in 1863. In the midst of our nation being ripped apart by civil war, he issued the Thanksgiving Proclamation declaring it a national holiday. He stated, “It has seemed to me fit and proper that they (gracious gifts from God) should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American People.” He also asked Americans to lift up in prayer “to His tender care” those who had suffered from the war and to ask for Him to “heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it … to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and union.” Certainly his statements and sensibilities still ring true for not only our people and nation, but also our nation’s position in world affairs today.
