Starting with Chick-fil-A in 1988 as a team member at Woodland Hills Mall and owning a franchise was not something I had aspirations to do at that time. I was an art major with no business skills other than a desire to succeed. After 25 years with Chick-fil-A, one of the most valuable lessons I teach young entrepreneurs is the art of having a mentor. I speak to thousands of people per year and I always ask the question, “Who is your mentor, who is your Yoda?”
Why do we need a mentor? As a father of six and employer of over 100 employees at Chick-fil-A, I see mentorship opportunities daily. Whether it’s someone who wants to move up within my company or with aspirations to start their own business, a mentor will help guide them in the right direction and give invaluable advice. I still look to my mentors daily for guidance on running my business or advice on being a husband and father.
What does a mentor look like?
Depending on where you are in your journey, it could look a number of different ways.
For me, one of my first mentors was a gardener at an apartment complex who I met when I was growing up. As a kid, life was hard for me. I grew up with extreme scoliosis, my mother was an alcoholic and, due to a complicated divorce, my father was out of my life when I was 13 years old. He invested time in me. He took us on hikes into waterfalls spent time with us when my parents did not have the time, or they were too drunk to take us out.
When I started as a cashier at Chick-fil-A, I was not savvy in business and had no clue how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be. I shared some of my concerns with someone I respected and he suggested that I read “Dressing for Success” written in 1975 by John Malloy. I read this book and it literally changed my outlook overnight. By simply implementing the action steps found within this book, I found myself overflowing with the confidence that comes with looking your best.
I even have mentors in my life, they probably don’t even realize their mentors. I watch them from afar, admire how they do business, and move forward similar to how they do it. They would know me well enough to greet me when I walk up, but not necessarily someone that I hang out with on a regular basis. Of those, Mart Green of Hobby Lobby and Chet Cadieux of QuikTrip, and Dr. Z (Dr. Robert Zoellner) are at the top of my list.
What kind of mentor do people need in their life?
We all need a mentor who has actually achieved success in the area of life in which we are seeking wisdom. Stay away from obese trainers and disheveled-looking style consultants. Just take a moment to ask yourself, “Who is currently doing what I am wanting to do?” or “Who has already achieved what I want to achieve?”
How do I find a mentor?
It’s not as hard as you would think. A successful mentor’s time is extremely valuable; so do not waste their time. I am a true believer that if you share your dreams, opportunities will show themselves. My system for connecting with mentors is fairly simple.
- Try to connect with someone and tell them you are available to meet any time, anywhere
- Ask for a meeting and make sure that you are focused on creating a sustainable and mutually beneficial “win-win” relationship with your mentor.
- Maybe you do need a mentor or coach. You may feel like an accountability partner will help. Clients take bigger actions, set bigger goals and think bigger when they work with a professional coach or accountability partner and The Journey Training can help you start that process.
“Who will be your Yoda?”
Sometimes I don’t get it. Why would anyone like to live in Alaska? It’s cold for most of the year, with Grizzly and Polar bears that will eat you alive. I’ll bet the internet connections are troublesome, too. Yet, there are people who will move there. I wouldn’t ever want to move there.
There are also restaurants I can’t stand. I won’t name the restaurant, but it serves hamburgers. I think it’s just an overpriced burger that isn’t even that great! And yes, I have friends that will say, “Let’s meet at <that burger joint> and talk some things over!” I’m thinking anywhere but there! I hate that place! How can anyone like that place? The fact is, what you don’t know may be why.
Can’t give it back
Once I was at a Christmas Party, and we played Dirty Santa. This means we all brought a wrapped gift with no name and put them under the tree. We then drew numbers and drew from 1 to 45. Number 1 went first. He/she opened the gift. Then it was Number 2’s turn. They could either pick a wrapped present or “steal” an unwrapped one they wanted. I was number 2. I didn’t really want a DVD of a movie I had seen, so I opened a new gift. It was a squeegee; you know, it had a handle and you clean your windshield with it.
My thoughts immediately went to, “Great, I’m stuck with this!” I mean, who would want a squeegee at a Dirty Santa game? As the game went on, I say incredible presents that I would give anything to steal had it been my turn. Pretty soon, each time they called number, I stood and jumped up and down, yelling, “Squeegee! Squeegee! You know you want this squeegee!” Everyone would laugh and I’d sit back down when they’d say, “No way! You’re stuck with that!”
What’s not important to you may be important to others
They called another number, and there I was – jumping up and down – using every sales tactic in the book to get that squeegee out of my hands! And a man stood up and walked right up to me and said, “I’ll take that squeegee, thank you very much!”
The room erupted in laughter! I was thinking, “Is this guy an idiot? What is he thinking?!” Everyone was shocked that he actually took a squeegee! And as he walked away from me, he said, “I’m a truck driver, and my squeegee just broke! This is answered prayer!” The room erupted again, this time in applause!
Don’t judge too quickly
When someone reacts a way you cannot understand, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” When someone enjoys something you don’t enjoy, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” When someone wants something you don’t want, remind yourself, “There’s gotta be a reason for that.” Their reasoning may differ from yours, but the reason may be a valid one too them.
I once facilitated a couple who told me a story. They were choosing a house and he wanted brick when she did not. She made up a story that he was just not wanting to give her what she wanted. She finally gave in and they got brick. She just asked herself a simple question: Does he love me and want the best for me? Her answer was yes, so she realized that there’s gotta be a reason for that. Now, 15 years later, she is so glad to have brick! It doesn’t need to be painted or maintained, and it give you better insulations and protection from the weather! When she told him she was now glad, he replied, “I was only trying to give you the best – to take care of our family the best way I could.” And she saw his reasoning – his perspective.
Reasons are relative
The next time someone treats you wrong, there is a reason for that. It’s probably because they were hurt, because hurt people hurt people. When someone cuts you off in traffic, take a breath and realize there’s a reason for that. Maybe it’s because they are rude, but maybe they are in a hurry to get somewhere, scared that if they’re late one more time they might lose their job. Both are possible reasons, but I find peace when I choose to believe the better one. Stress is relieved and I just a happier person.
In The Journey Training, we talk about how we “make up stories” and connect the dots – sometimes jumping to the wrong conclusion. We also talk about how every choice you make has an end result. By reminding yourself there’s gotta be a reason for that, you’ll diffuse arguments, lower your stress, and possibly see things from a different perspective. Our trainees are given dozens of tools like this to help them live a happier, more productive life – giving them the results they want! Why don’t you sign up and see what stories you’ve been making up in your life? You probably just made up a story while reading the last paragraph, too… And that is why you should sign up today!
Do you ever feel like you are in the right place at the right time, yet you just don’t feel fulfilled? Has anyone ever told you that you are, “Looking at it all wrong?” Let me humor you with an account of my trip to the Grand Canyon and the lessons I learned on the way.
My 3 month old and I were smushed into a van full of missionaries and after 20 hours of driving we arrived at our destination – The Grand Canyon. Ahh! We arrived just as the rain was stopping. I made it! Now what? If I only sit in the van, I am at the destination. But am I enjoying the full experience of being there? No. Is my purpose of being there simply to check in on Instagram? No. Obviously there has to be more as to why I struggled to get to this destination.
So I got out of the van and stretched in the drizzle soaked parking lot. As I breathed that glorious air, I listened to the birds singing, the leaves rustling in the wind, and people ooo-ing and ahh-ing. Now I have arrived. But is this all there is? All I could see were some trees, a pile of cement blocks that marked off some parking, and overflowing trash cans – some view! Really? This is why people come to the Grand Canyon? I was not impressed and I wanted to get back into that van and head home, unsatisfied and disappointed. Maybe I missed what I was supposed to be doing. There I was, standing in a cement jungle a thousand miles away from my husband holding a fussy baby. UGH! I wanted to go back home. That was me quitting and giving up on the reason I traveled this far.
My friend saw me standing next to the van and said, “Hey, you’re looking at it all wrong. Don’t stand here staring in the parking lot! Turn around and see the beauty of the Grand Canyon! Come on. Look this way!” Well, let me tell you, once I turned away from the parking lot and focused on the Grand Canyon, I saw it – and it WAS beautiful! It was much more than I expected, and it took my breath away. The sun caught the last of the rain clouds and the most magnificent rainbow appeared! It beamed over the Grand Canyon from one ridge filling the entire sky all the way to the other ridge, brightly proclaiming that God keeps His promise! Finally, I was standing at the Right Place, in the Right Moment, and Facing the Right Way.
Looking in the right direction gets your eyes off of your parking lot of problems which can leave you feeling frustrated, irritable, wanting to quit, and going nowhere. Looking in the right direction can bring you to see the vastness of God’s purpose and plan for your life. While standing in that position with my vision refocused, my purpose became crisp and clear. I would have missed the rainbow if I had continued staring at the parking lot. But someone helped me adjust my focus and I didn’t miss it!
What is your Right Place? It is the place where God has led you. It could be a place of employment, a place to eat, a place to serve, and even a place for entertainment. Don’t miss your Right Place by staying home. And don’t be afraid to make adjustments once you are in that place.
What is your Right Moment? In the book of Esther it says, “For such a time as this.” In Ecclesiastes it says, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Now is the time. You are in the right season, but are you facing the right way? Do things look blurry, unfocused and uncertain? Don’t be afraid to look around, turn around and see the bigger picture. There is a view that is much better than you can imagine by adjusting your focus.
I was in the right place at the right time facing the right way. You can be there, too.
Answer these questions: Am I in the right place? Is this the right moment? Am I looking at it from the right perspective? Do I need to change my focus?
If any of these answers were “YES,” consider attending The Journey Training to obtain the tools you need to refocus your vision. Like my friend who turned me around and changed my perspective, The Journey Training will come alongside you on your life’s journey to help you turn from a parking lot view to the Grand Canyon view. Come and see how your new vision of life can be beautiful and fulfilling. You just might find that you’ve been there all along…just not facing the right way!
We all have something inside of us that we never knew was there. It is a force…an inner strength that is sleeping, just waiting to be wakened. You may not know it’s there, but it is. All you have to do is find that “why” and it will wake up! Can you start a fire?
The Biggest Loser allowed me to find out things I never knew about my resolve.
It all happened when I found my “why.”
You may ask, “What is a ‘why?’”
It is that reason…that event when you finally decide to go the distance no matter what. It is when your priorities change and that hurdle that was blocking your way seems a lot shorter and easier to get over! We’ve all found it at one time or another. I found one of my first “why’s” at 15 years old. I didn’t have a girlfriend my sophomore year, but all of my friends did. I went home in May of my sophomore year and returned a Junior 75 pounds lighter! Ask any one of my high school buddies! I remember hearing “Is that Danny Cahill? Oh my gosh! Wow!” It was like finale of season 8 when I came bursting through the paper! I didn’t even look like the same person! A girlfriend was my “why!”
When you find your why, you then apply that force that awakens the fire within you to change!
Imagine two sticks. They just lie there on the ground. There is nothing too powerful about two sticks. But when you rub them together with great speed and force, you create fire. We are all sticks lying there waiting for that “why.” When we find our “why,” we can then tolerate the “how” of doing anything whether it is quitting smoking, saving a marriage, starting a business, and yes…losing weight.
Find your “WHY” today and apply that force that makes two inanimate sticks burn with the intensity to change the world!
Danny Cahill of the Biggest Loser Season 8
The Biggest Loser…EVER with 55.58% body weight lost!
Would you rather have a cat or a dog? Be a race car or helicopter? Be in first grade or second grade? Be an animal or a fictional character? Give three reasons and examples, a good conclusion, check for capitalization and punctuation, and you have Writer’s Workshop in my 2nd Grade classroom the last couple of weeks.
As adults, our “Would You Rather?” questions are a bit harder and have more at stake. Would you rather rent or buy? Go back to school or get out of debt? Work outside the home or stay at home?
It’s all about priorities.
My biggest priorities right now are my health & fitness, my career & my finances. When faced with a “Would you rather?” moment, I weigh it in light of my priorities. Would I rather go on a day trip or save that money for a big trip later? Would I rather have that cake or see the scale go down? Go out to eat extra now or save the money and calories for this weekend? Sleep in or get to work early? On their own, I may want all of them. Putting them head to head, however, the higher priority is what should win out most of the time.
Instant Gratification vs. the Long Term Reward?
In the moment, I would rather have that Mexican food, but afterwards I feel sick. In the long run, I want to lose weight. When a friend invites me somewhere, of course I want to go; I’m a quality time person after all! Laying in my bed is super comfortable…until I’m panicked because I’m running late.
Planning Ahead
As I began to look at my priorities, I was talking with a friend who is a Catholic Priest about his priorities. While all of his duties as a Priest are important, sometimes they can compete with each other. He has already pre-planned the order of his priorities, so when faced with a dilemma of two priorities, he can confidently choose based on his pre-set list of priorities.
Likewise, when I have my meals planned ahead, it is easier to put off the Mexican food until I’m with friends on the weekend. When faced with a socio-financial temptation, I’ve already decided that I’m saving for a trip in April, and I can offer up a cheaper activity that still involves quality time.
Last May, while not phrased as “Would you rather”, I was faced with a choice; resign from my job without a job lined up or commit to another year at a job where I was miserable. My priority to leave meant that I also had to choose financial planning and action steps to find a new job. Believe it or not, this was one of the most peaceful “Would you rather” decisions of my life!
What would you rather do? Take a look at your priorities, make some plans, and in turn, help yourself get what you really want!
I am Alison, and I am a graduate of The Journey Training program, in which participants are equipped with the tools to make life-choices that pay the highest dividends. Would you rather be stuck where you are or find freedom and achieve your dreams? Make YOU a priority and enroll in the next Threshold class!
Oh, and by the way…the answers to the introductory questions are as follows: dog (if I MUST choose), helicopter (would make life way easier), second grade, and fictional character (opposite a dashing and handsome leading man).
