I’ve had some big moments since I attended The Journey Training weekend. Big wins, accomplishments – champion moments as I refer to them now.
Maybe they aren’t “big” in the literal since, but they are those moments when you are in the battle and you have that “ah-ha!” go off in your head. This is the “Ah-ha” that you didn’t know before and the realization that things are different now. You see the situation from a different perspective and are able to walk through it, and knowing the result is going to be good for everyone involved.
Say it out loud right now: “Ah-ha!”
“Ah-ha” is the realization that you have the answer you’ve been looking for!
Say it aloud again: “Ah-ha!” It feels good, doesn’t it? Because the feeling is right and things are aligned.
Rather than share some of the champion moments – my “Ah-ha’s” if you will – I have experienced since the beginning of my journey, I’d like to share my daily attitude and approach that has allowed me to say that beautiful expression.
I am calm because I know I am confident. I take the opportunity to listen to others and sincerely engage because they ARE important and they ARE as deserving of my time as I am theirs. I’m now more transparent because I have nothing to hide from others any longer. I know I do not walk alone anymore because my Journey people walk with me. I live knowing I have a loving group of people that know where I’ve been and what I’ve done – and they don’t judge me for it; they love me regardless and the love is reciprocated through truth.
I observe the people around me and think, “The strengths in you I see are……” as I look at them. I see their strengths as they should too – dedicated, free, passionate, loyal, fierce, honest, a fighter, an advocate and some are shiny pieces of soul candy (or spicy pieces of eye candy, however you take your medicine). When I am around others I don’t let the bad apple be my perception any longer. I love them regardless – because I just “Ah-ha’d” all over them!!
I know other’s time is precious, as is our own. Maybe we go into the bank and spend two minutes with the bank teller, or when we are standing in line at the grocery store we spend two minutes with the other person in line with us. As we carry ourselves through each day, each two minutes add up to a lot of moments; brief moments – maybe a missed champion moment as we now know it to be. Maybe that moment can influence or change the course of that person’s day – or even our own. I know that each champion moment is easy to obtain, whether it be a smile with a, “Hi, how are you doing today?” at the bank, or the gesture of fellowship with a stranger in line, those champion moments awaits us.
The “good” is there within all of us. I’m challenged to remind or show others that they have that “good” in them too. I am flowing with champion moments all day now! Kindness, love, compassion, caring, sincerity, empathy, rationality, confidence, freedom, joyfulness, understanding, thoughtfulness, interjecting, charismatic, empowered, supportive, humble, tenderness, and I’m alive and on fire because of the “Ah-ha!” and my realization that I have the answer! I am the answer, and I say loud and proud, “James lives!”
And with Him and through Him, all things are possible.
Imagine the two minutes as a sip of lemonade, a 20 ounce “Keith’s Ice Cold Beverages Premium Lemonade” preferably, and know that sip is really good, every time. There are a lot of sips in that bottle.
I ask you to stop for two minutes and offer someone a sip. They deserve it. Be sincere and spend those two minutes with that someone that you may or may not ever see again. You may change their life.
All of my Journey people changed mine.
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Which “you” shows up when you experience stress, do you Work On It, Not In It?
I was asked this exact question while serving at one of our Journey Training weekends.
People often think that I don’t get stressed out, but those people would be wrong. I just deal with stress differently and they don’t recognize when I am struggling with it. I tend to go through three stages when I Work On It , Not In It:
Stage 1
I begin to feel pressure, so I stop, back up, and evaluate the situation. What small things can I whittle away to reduce the stress? What can I remove, complete, or change to dial it down?
Stage 2
I begin to get overwhelmed. At this point, I try to regroup and focus so that I can dial back down to stage 1 or before. Unfortunately, if the level is rising quickly, I tend to lash out at people I love and I get short and snippy in my communication.
Stage 3
I tear up. Yes, that’s right. Cry. They are most often tears of frustration. Here’s an example of what I had on my plate that brought on Stage 3 and how we handled it.
The Hamster Ball Relay, this event is monumental in itself. The few extra minutes I had each week were invested in helping The Journey Training get going. This is on top of my normal responsibilities at my two Chick-fil-A locations and the location I am the consultant for in Kansas and don’t forget the importance being a husband, dad and friend.
Frankly, it was all too much.
My wife said something simple and profound when I needed it most: “Let me know what I can help you with. There are people who can help you.”
There’s a word for what she was telling me: DELEGATION.
I teach delegation on a regular basis, but I still struggle with it from time to time myself. I had all of the typical excuses for why I could not/should not delegate.
It was all too important to delegate
We can’t delegate, we are still trying to figure it out
No one else knows how to do it and it will take too long to teach them
As leaders, we MUST learn to get outside of what we are doing from time to time and work on the big picture so that the details don’t overwhelm us. This can help us stay healthy and effective for the long run instead of breaking down on the side of the road like so many do.
Most people who are around you genuinely want to help, they just don’t know what you need. When our pride gets in the way, we don’t ask for the help we need. What we miss is that more work can be done with more hands – and it’s often done better when each person has less to carry. They may also have gifts and talents we do not and our pride keeps them on the sidelines.
Remember these three items to Work On It, Not In It:
Step outside of the project to focus on the “BIG” picture, not the details
Ask for help, delegate the work load so each team member has less to carry
Look for ways to encourage your team to use their personal gifts or talents
Is there someone in your life you can ask if they need help?
Who can you ask in your life to help you carry the burden?
This thirty minute podcast is by Andy Stanley called, “Work On It” that I believe will really speak to you. Andy Stanley is a church leader whose principles apply to any environment.
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In past blogs I’ve talked about the “programs” that run us. Most of the decisions that we make are made by our beliefs – or the programming of our beliefs from our experiences. These “Life Programs” can be good, and they can also be devastating! It all depends on what we want in life.
OUR LIFE PROGRAMMING
Good programs might be the confidence built in us by our parents or teachers that leads us to believe we will succeed before we even begin! Some people automatically think anything they try is possible if they only put their mind to it. Others lack that confidence and in turn believe the odds are against them before they even begin a challenge.
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
The question becomes how do we change those beliefs that work against us in life? If you lack confidence, how do you gain confidence? If you continually sabotage your relationships by becoming impatient and snapping at people, how do you stop those behaviors? We all have beliefs and behaviors in our lives that need to be reprogrammed. So how do you go about reprogramming your life?
CHANGE YOUR THINKING
Well, to change our beliefs, we must first change our thinking. If you lack confidence, your ability to find it begins with your own words. Let’s try something. I want you to begin counting in your head from 10 to 1 backwards, and when you get half way done, speak something out of your mouth. Ready: GO!
What happened to the counting when you spoke? It stopped. You see, it is very hard to think on one thing while saying something out loud. Your thoughts gravitate to that action of speaking. This is how we can reprogram our lives.
If you lack confidence, you must begin to tell yourself you are confident. I know; at first you won’t believe it. But in time, with continual practice, you eventually will begin to see it – at first just a little, and later even more! If you snap at people because you are impatient, begin telling yourself that you are patient. Speak out what you want and you cannot think on something else! Remember the train that “thought he could?” “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…” That makes sense now, doesn’t it?
MAKE AN AGREEMENT WITH YOURSELF
Find those beliefs that are holding you back, sabotaging your success, or making your relationships hard. Write down on a piece of paper what you need to be instead of those things. If you aren’t confident, write “I am confident.” If you aren’t patient, write “I am patient.” If you aren’t strong, write “I am strong.” Yes, you can have more than one. Take two or three.
Write them down and read them every morning when you get up, before you walk into a meeting, or before you get home to your family – whenever you need those things – just speak them out of your mouth. It’s good to do this while looking into your eyes in the mirror. At first this will be awkward, but soon you’ll begin to believe it!
Before I went to The Biggest Loser, I would tell myself, “I am a joyful and passionate man!” At that time in my life I had lost all joy and passion. I needed that again! I began to believe it, and I found the joy, and then I surely found the passion! Now I need focus, so I tell myself “I am a joyful, passionate and focused man!” Soon, my beliefs will change. And so will yours!
In The Journey Training, we see people enter the training every month believing wrong things about their lives. These beliefs may have been programmed by the words of others, or even their own words about themselves. By the time these people finish their training, you can see a complete difference in the way they look, walk and carry themselves. Some look physically different, while some just can’t stop smiling – and they are believing different things about themselves, too!
When will you reach for what you want – when will you begin reprogramming your life? Just remember these three simple steps.
Know your life programming
Change your thinking
Make an agreement with yourself
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Earl was an elephant. He loved the fruit from the trees! He would spend much of his time looking for and reaching up to get the best fruit he could see. But there were fruits that were too high for Earl to reach.
Earl would watch the monkeys screaming and playing in the trees. They would eat the fruits that were high up in the trees. Earl wished his trunk was long enough to reach those fruits, but it was only long enough to reach the low hanging fruits. Earl would eat those low hanging fruits, but in his heart he longed for the fruits up high in the tree. They looked bigger and more colorful, and he could imagine the sweet, sweet taste that was just out of his reach.
One day, Earl called to the monkeys, “Hey! I want some fruit! Can you drop one to me please?”
Mindi the monkey replied, “Why? You have fruit right in front of you. Just reach up and grab it!”
Earl shouted back, “But I want the high fruit! I’m sure it tastes much better than the fruit I can reach!”
Mindi shrugged her shoulders and said, “Okay Earl. Here you go!” And she dropped a fruit to Earl.
Finally! Earl had what he had longed for! He looked at the fruit and thought of all the times he ate that low hanging fruit while dreaming of the high fruit! Now he was going to taste the good fruit and finally see what he had been missing out on.
He took a bite and the fruit hit his tongue. He closed his eyes and tasted the sweetness. He chewed and ate the fruit.
Earl was confused. “This fruit isn’t any sweeter than the fruit I’ve been eating! I was so sure it would be better, but it’s exactly the same!”
Mindi climbed down the tree and looked at Earl. “I was wondering why you so wanted the high fruit!”
Earl asked, “Why do you eat the high fruit Mindi? Why do you climb so high to get them when there are fruits that are low?”
Mindi replied, “The high fruit is easiest for me to get, because I live high in the trees. Why would I travel so far to get the low hanging fruit when I can simply reach out and eat the fruit that is within my reach?”
Earl thought about all the time he had wasted dreaming of the high fruit and not enjoying the fruit he had right within the reach of his trunk!
“Never again will I long for something without enjoying what I have. I will dream, but not at the cost of the moment. I’m going to enjoy the fruit I can eat – the low hanging fruit – and truly savor what I have within the reach of my own trunk!”
In your life, what are you dreaming of? Dreams are great, but if you are only able to see the dream, what are you doing with the moment – with right now? Don’t spend your life running so fast toward your goal that you pass by the life you have now. Sometimes the greatest joy can come from the low hanging fruit, so look for that first – and enjoy it – and keep reaching high for the stars as you do! If you are a steward with what you have, more will surely follow!
‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.’ (Matthew 25:21 NIV)
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A few years ago, I was on a quest. I was proving a point, I was getting off my ask.
It started with a trip I wanted to go on, and asking everyone I knew for $25 for the trip. I told everyone that I had the money, so I could afford to go, and I don’t have to go. All the same, I asked if they would give me $25 so I can go to the Bob Harrison Increase event seminar in Hawaii.
Taking action in life is something few do. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, says “taking action is a true measure of intelligence.” There countless books on the concept.
My time with Myles Munroe was a perfect example of this.
One of my goals during that trip was to have lunch, breakfast, or dinner with every speaker of that conference, so I had to look for opportunities to take action. I knew it certainly would not happen by accident. If I was looking for it to be an accident, then I needed to make that accident happen. I first saw Myles Munroe at the airport, and introduced myself at the luggage pickup. I did not feel our relationship was at the point to ask him yet, though. So I waited.
Later in the week, I found a iPhone on a table, ringing, but with no one answering it. So I picked it up and looked at the pictures. It was Dr. Munroe’s. When I went to give it to him, I used that opportunity to ask him to lunch. He graciously said yes, so we set a time.
On the day of our visit, it ended up being quite the group. I had not specifically asked for a private lunch, and Myles had invited 11 other people besides the two of us for a total of 13 at lunch that day. During that time, I found out many incredible things about this leader.
I asked him how he spent his time. I asked him about some hard decisions. I saw his interaction as a husband since his wife was there. I saw his interaction as a father, since his daughter was there. (I found out she loves our Polynesian sauce and since she lived in Bahamas, she did not get much anymore, so I pulled an Arthur, and mailed her a case)
At one point I excused myself to go to the restroom, and gave the waitress my credit card, ensuring I would cover the bill. At the end of the lunch his protege was confused, and was not happy that he did not get to pay. He was kind of vocal about it.
Then it happened. Here is the biggest thing I learned…
The gentleman said that Myles was his mentor, and even in this event he has not been able to get time with Myles alone. When he said it, it seemed that he might be irritated specifically at me. Without missing a beat, Myles interrupted him and said something that I will never forget.
He said to his mentee, “Here is the difference, You did not get time with me alone because you did not ask. He asked,” and gestured to me. Then he continued “And he paid the bill because he made it happen.”
Sometimes we just do things automatically, without thinking it through completely or analyzing it. We just do.
This particular meeting sealed what I already knew to do. Ask. It validated to me that many of us do not get the opportunities because we do not ask or seek out opportunities.
Myles Munroe knew how do this.
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