Worry Steals Joy By: Sheila Dewald

Worry Steals Joy By: Sheila Dewald

I am so thankful for the times in life when the light bulb comes on – the champion moments that occur when we least expect them. I didn’t think visiting my lifelong “bestie” in Wichita would be one of those times. I was packing for the trip to meet her last Sunday and Monday – she was traveling from MN to Wichita to watch her son play in a college golf tournament. We hadn’t seen each other in a number of years due to busy lives and distance but we still keep in touch. I was stressed out about what to pack, what to wear, why had I not lost some weight, gotten my hair cut….Will she think I look good or have aged a lot…. completely forgetting that she has been my closet friend for 46 years and has seen the good and bad, all of it!

I have always loved being around her and we always seem to pick up where we left off. She is always smiling and when we were kids she was always up to something. I have always admired her love for life and outgoing personality. A few years ago she was diagnosed with MS. I wondered if she would be the same, surely that kind of diagnosis changes a person but not her. I wondered how she was still happy and encouraging to me and others. I was telling her what an inspiration she is to me and that her attitude, in the midst of adversity, is simply amazing. I told her I wanted to be like that but that is something I struggle with and maybe it’s a personality thing. She said you just worry way too much!! The choice comes in the surrender – true, 100% surrender to God and being who he created you to be.

I went back to my hotel room later that evening thinking about true surrender. I picked up a book I had taken along for the trip in case I had some time to read. “Confidence of a Champion” by Tim Marks. I started reading a section of the book which contains a passage from “The Greatest Miracle in the World” by Og Mandino.   The passage is amazing – it talks about the miracle of you and me.

  • Never, until the end of time will there be another such as YOU.
  • YOU are the rarest thing in the world
  • God brought forth a one of a kind, rarest of the rare – YOU!
  • YOU are a priceless treasure possessed of qualities in the mind and speech and movement and appearance and actions as NO other who has ever lived, lives or shall live.

Why have you valued yourself in pennies when you are worth a king’s ransom?

How can YOU – one of a kind you be anything less than invaluable? YOU are EXTRAORDINARY!

Why is it that we worry that we aren’t good enough? I began to realize like never before that a worried life is not a surrendered life.   Worry steals joy, peace and my greatnesss – the very greatness God created me for.   Sometimes it takes a special friend or mentor who is walking a truly surrendered life to remind us of who we really are and who we belong to – to remind us we were great all along.

 

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Dreams, Curveballs and Wonder Woman By: Rhonda Wise

Dreams, Curveballs and Wonder Woman By: Rhonda Wise

So, our lives don’t always end up looking like our dreams that we had as small children, right?  Life sure can throw curveballs!

I mean, if you had asked me as an 8 year old, where I would be in my mid 40’s I would NEVER have told you that I would be a divorced, single mom of 3 teenagers. In fact, that kind of thought wouldn’t have even been an option in my mind. However, like most of you know, life throws us some curve balls from time to time.

One of the major curve balls I experienced was after 19 years of marriage; my high school sweetheart/husband looked me in the eyes and said, “ I no longer choose you. I want a divorce.” In that moment I wanted to crumble to the ground and disappear, however, for the sake of my children, I knew I had to be strong. So, I decided, ok, if this is happening, I’m going to have to turn into Wonder Woman – nerves of steel, able to carry the world on my shoulders – in order to keep life moving forward for my kids. My plan worked great for a while. People who knew me would say things like “ wow, you are so strong,” “ I could never handle this as well as you are, how are you doing it?” On the outside I was focused, determined, and unaffected by the curve ball life had just thrown me. My kids didn’t see me cry and they saw mom doing her best to make life as good as she could for them.

Then, I met some wonderfully amazing people at The Journey Training, who challenged me to see relationships, my life, and myself from a different viewpoint.

At the Journey Training, they created a safe place for me and gave me full permission to feel. They had shown me that life is not meant to be done alone and that its highly important to be real with others.

They share a quote by Walt Anderson; “ We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”

Because of the curve ball life had thrown me, I had stopped trusting and had lost my love and joy for life. I thought I was showing my kids how to be strong and move on but in reality I was modeling how to hide your emotions and be fake.

I decided to take the new knowledge and tools that the Journey Training provided me and make a change in my life. I opened up and was real with some awesome people who truly cared about me. This reopened my heart to the joy and love for life. I also realized that I needed to implement these tools with my kids in order to help them.

Now, as a parent, I don’t share everything with my kids because they don’t need to shoulder adult responsibilities. However, I was able to open up and be real with them about what was happening in our lives and how I felt at times. By being vulnerable and real with them, it gave them the opportunity to trust me even more and to find their voices to share with me what they were feeling. It brought us closer together as a family and I looked like Wonder Woman to my kids while still being as vulnerable as a lobster in my time of growth and adjustment.

When we try to be the super hero, we shut others out and isolate ourselves. When we choose to be vulnerable and real and trust others, we allow for them to step into their amazing vulnerable selves and we can do this thing called life together. Only then are we open to fully feeling and experiencing the great love and joy our Creator truly desires for us in life.

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TRUSTING IS BELIEVING By: Alona

TRUSTING IS BELIEVING By: Alona

I want to share with you a story:

 

There was a cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

“Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!”

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl’s upturned face.

“A dollar ninety-five. That’s almost $2.00. If you really want them, I’ll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday’s only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.”

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere–Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.

One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, “Do you love me?”

“Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess–the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She’s my favorite.”

“That’s okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny’s daddy asked again, “Do you love me?”

“Daddy, you know I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper.”

“That’s okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you.”

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

“What is it, Jenny? What’s the matter?”

Jenny didn’t say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, “Here, Daddy. It’s for you.”

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny’s kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. 
He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

How many of us as followers of Christ claim to have our trust in Jesus? I mean it’s the “good Christian” thing to say, right? But do we really trust Him? Do we actually believe and live the words we proclaim?

I have spent some time lately asking myself these questions, and my response was sobering. When I got brutally honest with myself, I found that my actions and past track records had reviled that my trust had not been in whom I so religiously claimed but rather in my own petty efforts. That’s what they (your efforts) are by the way, petty, repulsive in fact, to God. I know that may sound blasphemous initially, but let me expound.

First, lets look at what the word “trust” means. According to Google the definition of the word trust means: 1 Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. 2 Confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.

You see, I grew up in church and in ministry so my life, to say the least, was lived on a stage, front and center, whether I liked it or not. Everything I did, said, or even thought was open for all to see and to my dismay, also to be critiqued. On top of that, I am an otter/retriever making me the ultimate people pleaser. I love people, I care about people, and I care entirely way too much about what people think. Life had become one giant production, leaving me desperately seeking the approval and applauds of my audience. I sought after anyone and anything that remotely sounded like a round of applause while claiming, “Jesus is my rock and in Him alone do I trust”.

Do you see where this is going? Silly me, I was so desperately searching for the approval and praise from everyone except from the only one that truly mattered. I didn’t really believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of Christ. If I had, I wouldn’t have wasted all those years in efforts in trying to become someone worthy of value and love, but would have realized I was created and born worthy.

When Christ shed His precious blood 2,000 years ago and rose again with the victory over death its self, He enabled you and I to wear the robe of righteousness and purity as if we had never heard words: sin and unworthiness. God only sees us as the pure and precious masterpieces he planned and created from the beginning because of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We can’t do a thing to earn it because the price has already been paid; the debt is paid in full! So when I stated that our efforts are repulsive to Him, it was to make the point that if we truly trust in Christ, then we would already know that we don’t have to do a thing to earn his love or approval because we would know that Christ already has won that approval on our behalf. All we have to do is just be who God created us to be.

So how does this have anything to do with the pearl necklace story? It has everything to do with it. When you know you can whole heartily trust God because you have confidence placed in Him by making Him the nominal owner of property of your heart to be held or used for your benefit, then you can trust Him with everything you have and trust everything He tells you. Or like the story, anything He would ask of you. Most of the time I don’t understand why God is telling me to do something but because I trust Him, I know that whatever He is asking me to do is only going to lead me to the real genuine treasure that He has had all along for me. All I have to do is trust Him and give Him my best. But giving Him my best isn’t working to be my best but rather realizing that I’m already His best.

Do you believe you’re God’s best? He says you are; do you trust Him?

 

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Are you a “GOOD” Mom?

Are you a “GOOD” Mom?

The pressure to be a ‘good’ mom is huge! We feel pressure from our kids, our husbands, our parents, other moms and dads, and MOST of all, ourselves.

I find it interesting that one of the first questions people ask when meeting someone is, “What do you do for a living.” For a mom, no matter your answer, the feeling of judgment often follows. Not that judgment always DOES follow, we just FEEL that it does. It feels like your answer will reveal whether you are a ‘good’ mom or not.

If you respond with, “I am a stay at home mom” or something similar, to someone that is not a stay at home mom, some of the ‘not so great’ responses I have heard are:

“Oh, so you don’t have a job?”

“What exactly do you do all day?:

“I’d get so bored if I stayed home all day.”

“Don’t you want to do something with your life?”

“You must have so much free time!”

“What are you going to do when all your kids are in school?”

“I would love to not have to work, you are so lucky!”

“Don’t you want to contribute something to your household?”

There are some that make judgments but most of the time, these statements are made simply because they do not know what it is like to be a stay at home mom. On the other hand, moms that work outside of the home get the same kind of pressure. When a mom answers the same question with a description of her paying job, some of the ‘not so great’ responses I have heard are:

“Oh, you can’t afford for you to stay home?”

“Are you worried about how your children are being treated in child care?”

“I would hate having someone else raising my kids.”

“At least you have nighttime to be a good mom.”

“Maybe if you were home more your child wouldn’t act out.”

“I’ll pray that you get to stay home with your kids soon!”

“If you can afford to stay home, then why do you go to work?”

“Do your kids ever feel abandoned?”

It’s easy to say, “Just ignore them, they don’t understand!” but it is much more difficult to actually do that! As I started thinking of how to spread the word that we are all good moms, I realized that it doesn’t really matter what other adults think or say. Everyone has a different ‘recipe’ for how to be a good mom and the only opinions that really matter…..are our kids….

I am writing this on a charter bus…on an 11-hour trip home from a percussion competition with my son and about 30 other high school percussion kids. I thought, maybe we need to hear their perspective of their own stay at home or working outside of the home moms…..here is what they said (with no alterations….they say “stuff” a lot)

Stay at home moms:

“I respect that she made the sacrifice to stay home with us kids and not work outside the home.”

“I enjoy her being around a lot.”

“She always tends to her kids before she tends to herself. It makes me feel important”

“I respect that she stays at home even though she would like to work, because she wants the best for us and loves us and stuff.”

“Just because she is home doesn’t mean she is not working. She is always working and doing stuff. She never stops.”

“She can always come to my band or sport stuff. It’s ok if she is busy with stuff or my brothers or sisters, but I like that staying home means she can do that.”

“I like that she is always there when I get home from school and I get to talk to her.”

“Since she is at home, I get to spend more time with her.”

“I like that she is not stressed about working and stuff.”

“I’ve never seen someone work as hard as my mom…and she doesn’t even get paid”

Working outside of the home moms:

“It’s great that she is independent and she can do what she wants.”

“I have never wished she stayed at home, it is a role model kind of thing.”

“I appreciate her attitude about the fact that she likes to work.”

“My mom has friends through work….I think it’s great! …do stay at home moms have friends?” (I laughed so hard at this one I almost wet my pants)

“She uses her work money to give me gas money…I appreciate that!!”

“I think it’s good that she can get outside of the house.”

“As a kid, you don’t think of the difference. I don’t think, I wish she stayed home”.

“She really likes her job a lot and it makes her happy which makes me happy.”

“She provides so it helps pay bills and pay for college, which I appreciate a lot.”

“She does what she loves and still makes time for me and my family. I get to see her every day.”

“I get to share her love of music with her, it is her job, and we talk about it every day after school.”

“I know we will always have insurance…she works in insurance.”

“She is willing to get another job and stuff in order for us to have what we need.”

“I respect that she is a hard worker.”

I did not get any negative comments from these kids at all! They all think their moms are the best…because they are the best mom for the kids that God gave them!

CHALLENGE

What would your kids say about you? If you don’t know the answer to this question……ASK THEM! You don’t have to limit this to whether you work inside or outside the home, ask them what they appreciate about you, what they want more of from you, and what they want less of from you! Don’t be afraid of their answers. Some may be hard to hear, but how do you know unless ask?

The bottom line is, we are all ‘working’ moms. We are working to raise our children and make sure they know we love them! Don’t ask yourself if you are being a good mom….ask your kids!

https://youtu.be/Me9yrREXOj4

 

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Food Of Love By: Christina Loveless

Food Of Love By: Christina Loveless

When I was a little girl, I would eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the time. They were my absolute favorite meal in the whole wide world. Part of why I loved them was because of how my mom prepared them: she would always carve a little heart in the peanut butter before adding the jelly.  Food of Love!

I knew that heart was there whether I watched her make my sandwich or not. I could taste it. It was made with love.

As I grew old enough to make my own pb & j’s, I continued the loving tradition: spread the peanut butter, make a heart, add the jelly, SQUISH!

Even as a teenager, when I craved the comfort of my old favorite, I would draw a little heart and feel better about myself. I was loved.

I remember the first time I made a sandwich without a heart. I was 21 years old, in my first apartment and my roommate came into the kitchen as I was preparing my late night study snack. He watched as I spread the peanut butter and as I was about to carve out a little heart from the creamy spread, I hesitated and decided it was a childish habit. I simply dropped the jelly on top of the peanut butter and topped it off with another slice of bread. I ate it a little sadly, thinking it didn’t taste quite right.

Fast forward to a few years later, when I was making my first peanut butter and jelly sandwich on gluten free bread. I was anxious, because I knew the bread would be so different from what I was used to. I had been diagnosed with Celiac disease and had to cut out wheat in all its forms to heal my body. As much as I was tired of being sick, I didn’t want to miss out on my favorite foods.

I spread the peanut butter, telling my husband how sad I was about how it wouldn’t be the same as I remembered. With a rush of emotion, I spilled out all about how much I missed the way my mom would draw a heart whenever she made it for me. I slid down against the cabinet, crying. He sat down next to me, with my half made sandwich, and said, “Go on, draw your heart.”

The Food of Love ….how simple. A tiny act managed to turn my day around.

In the years between those two sandwiches, I had struggled with depression, feeling lost, alone, and, most of all, unloved. Now, I’m sure that not drawing a heart in my peanut butter was a symptom of feeling unloved and not the other way around, however that simple act was able to remind me that I was in fact loved. By the man sitting beside me, by myself, and my amazing Creator. He did after all make the peanuts.

As I made myself a sandwich this week, I made a pledge to myself: I will ALWAYS draw that heart in my peanut butter, because I AM LOVED.

Whether I feel it or not.

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