Perspectives on Letting Go! By: Margo Hanne

Perspectives on Letting Go! By: Margo Hanne

Recently, letting go has been a recurring theme for me with all of its terrors and joys!

As a tall lanky kid with naturally curly hair, I always envied my little blonde friend with straight hair. Last summer was very rainy if you remember. Well, after years of using the straightening iron and tugging at frizzy locks, I decided to let go of the aspiration and hassle of obtaining straight hair, enjoy the natural, and let go of the dream to have something that wasn’t truly me. There has been such a freedom to let the curls out and quit fighting it! It was also an outward reminder of an inner relinquishment of some loved ones to God’s care.

I’m learning that self-acceptance involves embracing an unwanted reality about me, going with the flow so to speak, saying this is true about me and not fighting facts. Then I add that I don’t judge myself for it. In the acceptance then letting go, God is now free to change it in His way and in His time. In the lyrics of the Casting Crowns song, JUST BE HELD, “there is freedom in surrender, lay it down and let it go.” I love this concept and am growing in the liberty this process brings.

I struggle with second guessing myself often. After hearing of The Journey Training class called Launch, I was double minded about signing up. Knowing I was living my purpose and in my sweet spot, I asked Noell if the class would really be relevant. She mentioned that it was also designed to help with overcoming fears, I was much closer to being “in.” I specifically prayed about it and two days later our pastor’s sermon was on “The Jesus Who Calls You to Stop Playing It Safe.” He spoke about leaving the boat to walk on the water as Peter did toward Jesus. Loud and clear, that was my answer and I signed up that night!

Shortly thereafter, I was at an event where it became very clear that this third class of The Journey Training would involve lots of challenges, actual physical and mental challenges that were waaaaay out of my comfort zone. Yikes!   Now it’s too late! I had committed, paid, and gotten a great roommate.  After After hearing that a ropes course and zip line were part of the week-end, the anxiety truly began to rise. Then there was that inner AH HA moment with God, where I felt His smile on me as I recalled that these two events were actually on my bucket list! Not to mention that this was the very month of a significant birthday of mine. Ready to check these two off my list!

As Launch began, I stated that I wanted to grow in courage. Forward to Saturday morning, we did lots of team building games/exercises, each with higher commitment levels. Then it was time to step into the gear. Once strapped into the belts, I turned around to find that I had been assigned a turquoise helmet. Another smile from God as that is my favorite color, and a reminder of his partnership, love, and nearness!

Once onto the elements of the ropes course, I found it both challenging and scary in a positive kind of way. Confidence was already coming, fears being let go, though my nerves produced cold fingers and a very dry mouth. I was so looking forward to coming back to ground on the zip line just to get a refreshing drink of water…. relief, and exhilaration! Then we went outside for the next event, where it was sunny though a little windy.  Tall 35, 45 and 55 foot poles with pegs were already being climbed by our brave classmates! The facilitator began explaining that once up the pole, the next challenge was to stand on it, then jump to the suspended bar hanging in space. You could touch the rope attached to your back but if you began to fall or were ready to come down, you let go of the rope! This news scrambled my brain. When in stress I hang on tighter, grasping for security and safety. Now I questioned my resolve to even give it a try. Stalling, watching, and pacing, I contemplated, then stepped forward focused, committed, and started up the pole! My plan was to not stop, forge forward and see what happened. I heard friends cheering me on, like vitamins to my soul! To my amazement I found myself standing on the pole, my feet felt riveted to it. Then I hear those amazing words again, “turn toward me and let go of the rope! Count to three and then jump,” said the guy on the ground. Somehow I did (foregoing the bar) and was safely in a free fall suspended by the very rope I had let go of.

The lessons of that experience were rich in significance. Since then I have noticed a growing trust and confidence. The lessons of that day seem to remind me that when I let go, I am safer than clutching in fear. I hear the truth within that says if you can climb the pole, you can __________________!    (fill in the blank)

What is your rope to let go of? The struggle is REAL to be confident in our position of trust in Christ. Let’s encourage each other on this path away from the zone of comfort!

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TRUSTING IS BELIEVING By: Alona

TRUSTING IS BELIEVING By: Alona

I want to share with you a story:

 

There was a cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

“Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!”

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl’s upturned face.

“A dollar ninety-five. That’s almost $2.00. If you really want them, I’ll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday’s only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.”

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere–Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.

One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, “Do you love me?”

“Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess–the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She’s my favorite.”

“That’s okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny’s daddy asked again, “Do you love me?”

“Daddy, you know I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper.”

“That’s okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you.”

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

“What is it, Jenny? What’s the matter?”

Jenny didn’t say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, “Here, Daddy. It’s for you.”

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny’s kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. 
He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

How many of us as followers of Christ claim to have our trust in Jesus? I mean it’s the “good Christian” thing to say, right? But do we really trust Him? Do we actually believe and live the words we proclaim?

I have spent some time lately asking myself these questions, and my response was sobering. When I got brutally honest with myself, I found that my actions and past track records had reviled that my trust had not been in whom I so religiously claimed but rather in my own petty efforts. That’s what they (your efforts) are by the way, petty, repulsive in fact, to God. I know that may sound blasphemous initially, but let me expound.

First, lets look at what the word “trust” means. According to Google the definition of the word trust means: 1 Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. 2 Confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.

You see, I grew up in church and in ministry so my life, to say the least, was lived on a stage, front and center, whether I liked it or not. Everything I did, said, or even thought was open for all to see and to my dismay, also to be critiqued. On top of that, I am an otter/retriever making me the ultimate people pleaser. I love people, I care about people, and I care entirely way too much about what people think. Life had become one giant production, leaving me desperately seeking the approval and applauds of my audience. I sought after anyone and anything that remotely sounded like a round of applause while claiming, “Jesus is my rock and in Him alone do I trust”.

Do you see where this is going? Silly me, I was so desperately searching for the approval and praise from everyone except from the only one that truly mattered. I didn’t really believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of Christ. If I had, I wouldn’t have wasted all those years in efforts in trying to become someone worthy of value and love, but would have realized I was created and born worthy.

When Christ shed His precious blood 2,000 years ago and rose again with the victory over death its self, He enabled you and I to wear the robe of righteousness and purity as if we had never heard words: sin and unworthiness. God only sees us as the pure and precious masterpieces he planned and created from the beginning because of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We can’t do a thing to earn it because the price has already been paid; the debt is paid in full! So when I stated that our efforts are repulsive to Him, it was to make the point that if we truly trust in Christ, then we would already know that we don’t have to do a thing to earn his love or approval because we would know that Christ already has won that approval on our behalf. All we have to do is just be who God created us to be.

So how does this have anything to do with the pearl necklace story? It has everything to do with it. When you know you can whole heartily trust God because you have confidence placed in Him by making Him the nominal owner of property of your heart to be held or used for your benefit, then you can trust Him with everything you have and trust everything He tells you. Or like the story, anything He would ask of you. Most of the time I don’t understand why God is telling me to do something but because I trust Him, I know that whatever He is asking me to do is only going to lead me to the real genuine treasure that He has had all along for me. All I have to do is trust Him and give Him my best. But giving Him my best isn’t working to be my best but rather realizing that I’m already His best.

Do you believe you’re God’s best? He says you are; do you trust Him?

 

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Discover It: By Eddie Scyffore

Discover It: By Eddie Scyffore

Prior to coming to The Journey Training I was irritable, controlling and severely discontented; I didn’t know what I wanted but I knew something needed to change. My life was steeped in fear coupled with the incessant need to please others; yet I remained empty with no direction or end in sight. As I mentioned previously, I needed something but I didn’t know what “it” was or how to achieve it, let alone discover it. Pretty hopeless, huh? Yes, I was.

When I entered the rooms of the Journey Training, I immediately saw beautiful and handsome faces to which I concluded “surely they wouldn’t be able to relate to an ex-convict and recovering drug and sex addict.” After all, they looked so pristine and trouble free I thought, but I was soon to discover that my terminal uniqueness was soon to be replaced with a sense of brotherhood and community I had longed for my entire life: the desire to be accepted and loved for who I was, not the illusory of what I assumed others wished or wanted me to be. I was in for a rude and revolutionary awakening. One that would ultimately provide me with a wealth of information and tools to help me discover my “it” in a real and meaning way which up to this point had been elusive.

In his book A New Pair of Glasses Chuck C. provides a very simple philosophy which is reminiscent of the Journey Training, consider now, “uncover, discover, and discard.” Unbeknownst to me I had no idea what I had gotten myself into because that is exactly what I experienced during that life changing weekend. So what does that look like, you might ask? Let’s consider them one at a time, shall we?

Uncover

            This is a frightening prospect for a chronic people pleaser like myself, but if I was going to begin a journey of health, wholeness and emotional sobriety this was where “it” had to begin. Imagine being in a room filled with virtual strangers, not to perform but to uncover making one’s self vulnerable, naked and exposed with no figs to cover a lifetime of hidden shame and guilt. Through clenched fists, a churning stomach and tear filled eyes, I did something I had never done before: I trusted someone other than myself with the truth of who and what I had been and it was the turning point for my personal journey had begun! Light was beginning to shine in my darkened tunnel called my mind.

Discover

            On a giant poster board was the known quote by Albert Einstein which read “insanity is doing the same things while expecting different results.” During my discovery process I have added a slight adaptation to the afore mentioned quote “insanity is doing the same thing knowing full well what the results WILL BE!” Before coming into the Journey Training, it is safe to assume that I was insane. Perhaps not in the clinical sense, but emotionally imbalanced nonetheless. Journey taught me that I could not conquer what I was unwilling to face regardless of how scary it appeared. Looking back, it wasn’t what I was unwilling to face per se as it was, what I would discover once the mask(s) were removed. You see, my pain, in spite of its darkness became a comfortable companion for I had learned to manipulate, maneuver and mask the truth which kept me enclosed within a mental prison of my own making. By discovering I had the right to be myself, while forgiving myself and ultimately loving myself was a radical prospect indeed. One that was greater than the pain of my past.

Discard

            King David once penned “Be still and know that I am God. (see Psalms 40:10a)” In a word “to be still” requires one to “let go” or “discard” former false systems of beliefs or perceptions. In Journey I was given a “contract” which is equivalent to receiving a new identity and purpose. Before I was dispassionate, fearful and weighed down by the guilt of my past and previous convictions. When asked how I perceived myself, I could only respond sheepishly “a jailbird.” Although I was walking in the land of the free, I was still imprisoned albeit the prison was a mental one instead of a physical one. However, by the end of the training I was smiling (genuinely) declaring: “I am a passionate free bird.” I gave myself permission to discard those old tapes which kept me defeated, discouraged and imprisoned. I was free to soar above my self-limiting perceptions.

It has been stated a journey of a thousand steps begins with one. This is not to suggest that it will be easy especially when you battle between your ears. But there is one thing that I can assure you and it is this: since that glorious weekend of uncovering, discovering and discarding, I have begun to walk in my “it,” I am a semester from receiving my college degree at 50. My marriage which at one time was on life support has begun to heal itself as I rigorously apply the tools learned in the Journey Training. The wounded boy who lived in fear has been integrated with his core self and is now living a life once previously believed impossible. And the results I lived to repeat have been traded in for the wonder of tomorrow. I am a liberated and passionate free bird. Now it’s time for you to discover your “it.”

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Lessons Learned From A Wind Chime By:  Kip Clarke

Lessons Learned From A Wind Chime By: Kip Clarke

 

Not long ago Holly and I were at a friend’s house enjoying a visit on their back patio.  It was a beautiful warm evening, and I looked up and noticed a large and ornate wind chime hanging securely from a branch high above us.  I watched the wind chime as it danced around making a beautiful soft song in the breeze.  It’s funny how God often uses simple objects in nature to teach me life lessons – it was time for another one of those teachable moments.

As I looked up at that wind chime in the tree I noticed the gentle tension it’s weight was placing on the cable line it was hanging from. All the pieces were aligned and hanging neatly in place, ready for the wind.  As long as that wind chime’s cable line is straight and securely anchored to a strong branch of the tree, all of the other separate parts can work together in harmony and make beautiful music when the winds begin to blow. It is the deep strength of the tree and its branch that allows that Wind Chime to operate at its full potential, becoming what it was created to be – an instrument that makes beautiful music in response to the winds of adversity.  The chime was correctly aligned vertically to that branch, which made all of the other parts aligned as well. Had that same wind chime not been securely fastened to a strong tree branch, the same winds would have brought it crashing to the ground.

God reminded me in that moment that this is an example of my life. Recently I experienced strong head winds blowing against me in my life through a recent job loss. It forced me to completely reevaluate my priorities and that what I was drawing my security and strength from. Through my relationship with God, the love and support of my family and friends and the training I received from The Journey Training, I am able to see the season from a different perspective. I am resisting playing victim and am using those winds as a valuable tool to build my faith and trust in God – and to deepen my love for Him and for others. It hasn’t been easy, but being anchored into HIS tree and branches has made all the difference as the winds blow!

Think about this – what “branches” are you placing your trust in? What is your anchor to bring security in your life? Is it a career? Money? Health? Possessions? Relationships? These branches give us only false security in life and bring us temporary happiness and fulfillment that is fickle and fleeting.  When the winds and storms of life’s stresses come and begin to blow on us from every side, what or Who do we cling to?

Remember this – the wind chime makes beautiful music when the winds are blowing. When it’s completely calm outside the instrument is silent. It was not created for the calm, but for the wind. Likewise, we were created to reflect His glory through the ups and downs on our Journey through life. The bible tells us in James 1 to “count it all joy when you face various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect work, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

We all need times of rest and renewal, but remember this – trials and challenges are a part of our journey. God uses these times to carefully shape and strengthen our character and reflect His glory and power back to the world. John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  Rather than going through life carefully trying to avoid all hardships, focus on anchoring deep into The True Vine, accepting that we will face adversities. And know that when the winds of life blow hard on you from all directions, your life will make beautiful music to everyone around you and bring glory to Him!

I betcha won’t ever look at a wind chime the same way again…

 

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Are you a “GOOD” Mom?

Are you a “GOOD” Mom?

The pressure to be a ‘good’ mom is huge! We feel pressure from our kids, our husbands, our parents, other moms and dads, and MOST of all, ourselves.

I find it interesting that one of the first questions people ask when meeting someone is, “What do you do for a living.” For a mom, no matter your answer, the feeling of judgment often follows. Not that judgment always DOES follow, we just FEEL that it does. It feels like your answer will reveal whether you are a ‘good’ mom or not.

If you respond with, “I am a stay at home mom” or something similar, to someone that is not a stay at home mom, some of the ‘not so great’ responses I have heard are:

“Oh, so you don’t have a job?”

“What exactly do you do all day?:

“I’d get so bored if I stayed home all day.”

“Don’t you want to do something with your life?”

“You must have so much free time!”

“What are you going to do when all your kids are in school?”

“I would love to not have to work, you are so lucky!”

“Don’t you want to contribute something to your household?”

There are some that make judgments but most of the time, these statements are made simply because they do not know what it is like to be a stay at home mom. On the other hand, moms that work outside of the home get the same kind of pressure. When a mom answers the same question with a description of her paying job, some of the ‘not so great’ responses I have heard are:

“Oh, you can’t afford for you to stay home?”

“Are you worried about how your children are being treated in child care?”

“I would hate having someone else raising my kids.”

“At least you have nighttime to be a good mom.”

“Maybe if you were home more your child wouldn’t act out.”

“I’ll pray that you get to stay home with your kids soon!”

“If you can afford to stay home, then why do you go to work?”

“Do your kids ever feel abandoned?”

It’s easy to say, “Just ignore them, they don’t understand!” but it is much more difficult to actually do that! As I started thinking of how to spread the word that we are all good moms, I realized that it doesn’t really matter what other adults think or say. Everyone has a different ‘recipe’ for how to be a good mom and the only opinions that really matter…..are our kids….

I am writing this on a charter bus…on an 11-hour trip home from a percussion competition with my son and about 30 other high school percussion kids. I thought, maybe we need to hear their perspective of their own stay at home or working outside of the home moms…..here is what they said (with no alterations….they say “stuff” a lot)

Stay at home moms:

“I respect that she made the sacrifice to stay home with us kids and not work outside the home.”

“I enjoy her being around a lot.”

“She always tends to her kids before she tends to herself. It makes me feel important”

“I respect that she stays at home even though she would like to work, because she wants the best for us and loves us and stuff.”

“Just because she is home doesn’t mean she is not working. She is always working and doing stuff. She never stops.”

“She can always come to my band or sport stuff. It’s ok if she is busy with stuff or my brothers or sisters, but I like that staying home means she can do that.”

“I like that she is always there when I get home from school and I get to talk to her.”

“Since she is at home, I get to spend more time with her.”

“I like that she is not stressed about working and stuff.”

“I’ve never seen someone work as hard as my mom…and she doesn’t even get paid”

Working outside of the home moms:

“It’s great that she is independent and she can do what she wants.”

“I have never wished she stayed at home, it is a role model kind of thing.”

“I appreciate her attitude about the fact that she likes to work.”

“My mom has friends through work….I think it’s great! …do stay at home moms have friends?” (I laughed so hard at this one I almost wet my pants)

“She uses her work money to give me gas money…I appreciate that!!”

“I think it’s good that she can get outside of the house.”

“As a kid, you don’t think of the difference. I don’t think, I wish she stayed home”.

“She really likes her job a lot and it makes her happy which makes me happy.”

“She provides so it helps pay bills and pay for college, which I appreciate a lot.”

“She does what she loves and still makes time for me and my family. I get to see her every day.”

“I get to share her love of music with her, it is her job, and we talk about it every day after school.”

“I know we will always have insurance…she works in insurance.”

“She is willing to get another job and stuff in order for us to have what we need.”

“I respect that she is a hard worker.”

I did not get any negative comments from these kids at all! They all think their moms are the best…because they are the best mom for the kids that God gave them!

CHALLENGE

What would your kids say about you? If you don’t know the answer to this question……ASK THEM! You don’t have to limit this to whether you work inside or outside the home, ask them what they appreciate about you, what they want more of from you, and what they want less of from you! Don’t be afraid of their answers. Some may be hard to hear, but how do you know unless ask?

The bottom line is, we are all ‘working’ moms. We are working to raise our children and make sure they know we love them! Don’t ask yourself if you are being a good mom….ask your kids!

https://youtu.be/Me9yrREXOj4

 

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