Set the Standard

Set the Standard

I’ve always wondered why rules are so hard to follow. Have you ever felt that way? It seems that when there is a rule, I gravitate to it. The rule is like the front porch light, and I’m the bug – frantically trying to break free but trapped by its gravity!

I was driving my daughter’s friend home when we came to a stop light. I glanced over and saw a really BIG sign. It said “NO TRESPASSING! VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED.” I said to her, “Look at that sign! That is the biggest no trespassing sign I have ever seen!” It was painted on two 4’x8’ plywood boards! She looked at me with her eyes wide open and said, “That makes me want to go in there!”

Why is this? Why are rules so hard to follow?

You become what you focus on

I once heard a story. There were two young boys who loved to visit their grandpa. He had a great big backyard with toy tractors and tools, and they were always excited to go to his house. When they arrived this day, they quickly asked, “Grandpa! Can we go play in your backyard?”

“Sure you can boys! But just don’t spit on my bushes!”

The two boys looked at each other in confusion, then shrugged and sped out the door. The grandpa walked over to the window and peeked through the blinds. The two boys walked down the steps and looked over at the bushes. They looked at each other, grinned, and before they ran to the tractors they spit on the bushes, which they would have never noticed had Grandpa not mentioned them.

You see, when we set rules to follow, we bring to the forefront of our thoughts and mind those things we shouldn’t do. In my own life, and in the lives of those whom I coach, I’ve found that the best way to break a rule is to make one. We all gravitate to what is forbidden. Adam and Eve did it in the Garden. God told them they could eat of any tree except the one. And we know the outcome of that story!

I had lunch with Jillian Michaels in Los Angeles and said to her, “Jillian, I can’t shake it! The more I think to stay away from certain foods, the more I seem to want them!” She said to me, “Danny, I have one all-natural, Newman’s Own dark chocolate peanut butter cup every single day of my life. Why? Because if I deprive myself of it I will only want it more – then I eat 2 or 3 or even 4! Don’t deprive yourself of the things you love – just work them into your plan and stick to the plan!” I’ll tell you, I’m not the thinnest guy on the block right now, but I’m not 300, 400, or even 500 pounds anymore either. And it has to do with that plan Jillian was talking about.

Set standards, and make them a part of your plan

If we tend to become what we focus on, why would we want to focus on what not to do? Let’s focus on the plan – let’s focus on what we need to do! Let’s set some standards.

Let’s look at the definitions of standard: “A level of quality or attainment. An idea used to measure the norm (normal) in comparative evaluations. Accepted as normal or average.”

When we set standards, we raise the bar, creating a target to shoot for. When we set rules, we create governing boundaries for ourselves, or curbs, to stay within. Rules limit our performance instead of creating a higher standard to attain. And in my experiences, when I’m shooting for something, I am much more motivated to achieve it.

Know the standards, find the target

When I was at The Biggest Loser ranch, we learned which foods to eat. We learned to add water to our diet and to increase our steps every day. We also created a standard of workout that expanded our lives. One of the running jokes about being a Biggest Loser Alumni is that once you’ve been a contestant, walking distance means a completely different thing. I used to think walking distance was 600 feet, but now it means 5 miles!

Sure, we knew to stay away from certain foods, but more than that we knew the foods to gravitate to; and when we eat the right food and drink plenty of water, the wrong foods don’t even come into the picture. You see what I mean? Sure, we avoided having certain foods within our grasp; we just left them off the grocery list.

Standards work in all areas of life

Standards work in your office or family, with your team, or in any area of life! I once heard Mike Krzyzewski, the Duke University head coach and coach of several U.S. Olympic basketball teams explain something. How can you coach The Dream Team  and have several huge egos such as Michael Jordon, Scotty Pippen, Karl Malone, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Patrick Ewing, and Charles Barkley, and have them work together as a team? How do you tell them to be on time or adhere to a curfew? These are the greatest names in basketball! Well, Coach Mike explained that at the first meeting, instead of laying out rules to the team, HE asked them what standards should be created for the team. They went around one by one and shouted them out: “Be on time!” “Get your sleep!” and on and on…until they set the standards for their team themselves. Because they had ownership in the standards, they adhered to them. Coach Krzyzewski said that if he’d set rules for them, they would have gone out of their way to break them and prove who was in charge.

This can work in your own life, too. In your family, let your kids take part in setting the family standards. In your office or business, let your employees or team take part. Their ownership of the standards will give them a voice, and in turn motivation to adhere to them without so many rules. And in your own life, don’t deprive yourself of all enjoyable things, but set standards that include some of those things, and more importantly the things that will get you where you want to go. You might just find that the rules will fade into the background and not become the focus when you are busy shooting for your standards, and in turn shooting for the stars!

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Opportunity to Dream

Opportunity to Dream

Last week I was speaking to a group of 6th grade classes at a middle school about dreams. Giving up on my dreams was a large part of how I ended up almost 500 pounds, feeling helpless and hopeless almost giving up on everything. My introduction video says at 17 seconds in, “When I was 17 years old, I was a rock star. I was lookin’ good and feelin’ good; I feel like somebody’s stolen my dream. This thing has stolen my life – and I want my life back!”

There’s so much truth in that statement. My passion has always been music. I went to my first concert at 16, saw the band on stage and the crowd, and made my decision: I was going to be a rock star.

Now, we all know that the odds of being a rock star were not in my favor. But I had an ingredient that could sure help: passion.

Opportunity Knocks

I went right home, dug a dusty guitar out of the closet, and went to work! I began learning melody lines from my favorite songs. After a few weeks, I heard some of my school mates had a band, so I went to watch them and was really impressed.

The week before I had just bought a bass guitar at a pawn shop at the advice of someone who told me, “You’re playing bass, not guitar. Guitar plays all of the strings at once, and you’re only playing 1 note at a time.” So I ran to the pawn shop and bought beat up, hollow-body bass and amplifier. The band I was watching finished rehearsal, and the bass player had to go. I asked, “How many gigs have you played?”

“None. We’ve only learned 6 songs. We want to learn Detroit Rock City by Kiss, and The Trooper by Iron Maiden, but Greg can’t play the bass lines.”

“I could play those bass lines,” I calmly declared, knowing I had barely been playing bass for a week. After convincing them of my bass playing prowess – which was completely falsified – they said, “Okay, Come back next Saturday and we’ll play those songs.” Boy did I have my work cut out for me! But I practiced until my fingers hurt until late every night, and the next Saturday I replaced Greg as the bass player in that unnamed band! I was really going to be a rock star! 3 months later we played a dance at school and became rocks stars on the high school level!

Dreams are the driver, opportunity is the road

Over the next 10 years, I played with several bands. I soon found myself on stage with Donny Osmond in front of thousands. Later, the band I was playing for actually knocked New Kids on the Block out of the number one singing group in the nation. We were on the Billboard Top 40, and had a record contract with RCA. After that opportunity didn’t pan out, a 3-man band I was in recorded an album and was ready to release it worldwide. It was bootlegged overseas, and the rug was pulled out from underneath me again. Later I found out Unleash the Dog was the #1 band in Greece in 1996, beating out Metallica and Rob Zombie – but we never even saw a cent of the profit.

At that point, another opportunity was sure to present itself, but I gave up. This is what I talked to those 6th graders about last week – not giving up on their dreams. My mantra since The Biggest Loser has been Lose Your Quit. There will always be another opportunity, so never give up.

Dreams can look different, so take the opportunities that come your way

At 39, I felt like my music career was over. My friends in that band in the 90’s (PC Quest) had gone on to do great things. Chad was the lead singer of Shiny Toy Guns, Steve was a studio musician and performer in LA, Drew was on tour with several artists, and I was left wondering what happened. Bob from Unleash the Dog was now in Arizona and was the national head of music instruction for Fender, and I could go on and on. They didn’t give up.

I only saw my dream of a rock star one way. Others kept their passion and brought it to the opportunities that came to them while I simply gave up. After going to my experiential training in 2008 and re-igniting my passion, I made it onto the cast of The Biggest Loser. The funny thing is, on that show I wrote new music. It provided me an opportunity to awaken those dreams once again – just not exactly how I thought.

I wouldn’t be a rock star, but I would be living my dream with passion! Since the show, I have spoken in 5 countries and 45 states in the US – to over a million people – and each time I close with two songs: the first I ever wrote called I can’t forget about you and Second Chance that I wrote on the show. I’m not a rock star, but I am living my dream, speaking and passing that passion of not giving up to others. And as I played Second Chance last week to those 6th graders, it was a dream fulfilled.


Where is your opportunity?

Your dreams are real, and they are possible. Those 6th graders raised their hands and told me what they wanted to be. One in the front row said, “I want to play in the NBA!” He was one of the shortest kids in the crowd, and that was a very lofty goal. I told him, “Never give up on that dream! And take the opportunities that come your way and you’ll live that dream! It might look different than you think, but it can happen. You might be a coach, or an announcer on TV for the NBA, or you very well might be the next Kevin Durant. Who knows?”

I thought about the movie The Sand Lot. Bennie made it to the big show, and Scotty Smalls made it as the LA Dodger announcer. They both realized their dreams – just in a different way.

So that vision that has been placed in your heart is true. Don’t waste an opportunity to bring the passion you have to the opportunities that present themselves. Even if it looks different that you thought, you can be a rock star!

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Courage is Not the Absence of Fear

Courage is Not the Absence of Fear

I can be extremely self-conscious about my abilities from time to time. I am considered “the crazy guy,” the out of the box thinker. I travel all over the country speaking about crazy ideas and ventures. I even mentor others on building their own road to success. You might picture me as this courageous guy with nerves of steel, right? Wrong! I still get nervous before speaking engagements, but I do them.  I recently wrote another book but what will others think of my writing?

Fear

There are stories going off in my head right now. They are very real….to me.

  • I wrote this book to brag about my knowledge
  • I am working to promote me, not my book.
  • Who am I to be giving “tips” to others?

The list goes on and on, and I know that I am not the only one that lives with doubts like this every day!! 

Courage

What am I going to do with these criticisms swirling in my head?

  • Are these thoughts really true about me?
  • Do I believe these things about myself?
  • Regardless of what other people think, is what I am doing supporting my purpose and mission?

Once you have worked through those questions you will know better how to work through criticisms that you are dealing with.

Are any of these criticisms true about myself? Courage is not the absence of fear, it is having the fear and pushing through it.  I choose to focus on my mission and push ahead.

I wrote this book to pass on that knowledge. I have been honored to co-author the book with a talented friend of mine. Bryan Smith and I are very proud of this book. Breaking Conformity is our first professional book about business. This book will help new and seasoned professionals.  I have acquired so much knowledge and have learned valuable lessons from those before me, including brilliant individuals who have mentored me. It is important to share information and pass on that great knowledge to others.

Breaking Conformity will help new emerging leaders as well as veteran ones to look at business myths that plague us. It will give the rest of the story, which will help in overcoming any hurdle quickly, making the length of time to success even quicker.

As this book prepares to launch I am filled with anxiety, nervousness and fear but also pride and excitement to share this with others. I am pushing through the fear and choosing courage. How will you push through the fear today, this week, this month? Choose courage!

 

*Breaking Conformity is available on Amazon.com on October 19th 2015. Help us to help others by purchasing our book. Help us become #1 best sellers on Amazon!

 

 

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Wanted:  1969 Shelby – What Is Your Motivation?

Wanted: 1969 Shelby – What Is Your Motivation?

Wanted:  1969 Shelby- What Is Your Motivation?  My dream became a reality directly due to my motivation and goals and I can tell you exactly how I made that happen.

Statistics show that people who write down their goals have over an 80% higher success rate of achieving them than those that don’t.

I have often told people that, regardless of what your overall plan is, step one should be to write down your goals, your motivations. However, people often write down a goal or two, stick the piece of paper in their pocket, and never see it again. Sometimes I even hear people say that they simply don’t have the time to write down their goals. If you don’t have enough time to write them down, how in the world will you have enough time to achieve them?

Write it down, and make it visible!

Ever since I was a teenager I wanted a Ford Mustang. Not just any mustang, but a 1969 fastback. I loved the sleek design, the rumble of the muscle, and the smell of gasoline when you revved it. This was the car that, when you mention it, people have that far away look and their eyes glaze over. I also loved the fact that it was a car of distinction, not one of money. It was a car with character, just like me.

Now that I am older, I still want to get one. My wife, the amazing woman that she is, bought me one. It was 40 years old and every time I started it I could feel how old it was. I ended up repairing a window latch here, and a fuel line there. A few more repairs in, and I realized that I did’t have the time to invest in this beauty like she deserved.

So, I set my sights on a different one. I wanted it all to be new, state of the art, something that looked nostalgic, but ran like a dream. I found a picture of it and posted it on my wall. I did not know how, or when, but this would be my car. I would look at that picture regularly.

Here is where it gets good.

 

Step 1

I shared my goals with others.
I shared it with others, I took action and shared my desires. It was posted in a place where anyone that is in my office could see it. It always struck up conversation where I could share what specifically I wanted to have. Meanwhile I saved.

Step 2

Take some action.
I saved for it. Seems odd, I did not even know it existed, but it was an idea I wanted. The best of both worlds I called it. Either way, I saved. It was not much, it started as $150 per month. Then it grew a little here, a little there, and I think it ended up being about $250 per month.

Step 3

When the opportunity came up, I took it.
A friend came to me one day and told me he found my car. I asked him what he meant, and he shared with me about a company that he knew of that builds exactly what I wanted. I took a trip, and sure enough, I got to build exactly what I wanted. Retrobuilt.com

There were still things I had to do to get it, so it took another few months, but If I did not share my goal with others I would not have found it. If I had not started saving, I would not have had any resources to get it.

Our dreams and goals may be huge, but if you fold it up and put in your pocket with no call to action, it does no good.

Wanted:  1969 Shelby- What Is Your Motivation?  My dream to a reality.

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Leonard Nimoy Ate More Chicken And Other Life Lessons

Leonard Nimoy Ate More Chicken And Other Life Lessons

After the recent passing of Leonard Nimoy, I started reflecting on things he has done that have influenced me as well as my own personal experience meeting him a few years ago in true Arthur Greeno fashion.

The first thing that comes to mind is the Vulcan hand salute that we all are familiar with that usually is accompanied by, “Live long and prosper. “But do you know where that hand gesture came from? Here’s a short video of Mr. Nimoy telling the story.

Now on to my personal experience with the man best known as simply, “Mr. Spock”.

I was never a huge fan of the original Star Trek series and I connected with it long after all of the original movies had aired. Later I started watching the reruns and fell in love with Star Trek: The Next Generation and since then I’ve seen all of the Star Trek movies and nearly every episode of the various TV series from the Star Trek universe.

On April 20th 2009 Leonard Nimoy was scheduled to be one of the stars featured at the 20th annual Star Trek Expo here in Tulsa. I thought it would be cool to meet him, so I reached out to a connection I had who in turn introduced me to the owner of the event. Nearly everyone loves Chick-fil-A, so I offered to provide food for all of the actors and that opened a door for me to potentially meet Spock as well as many others.

Throughout the day of the event, I made many deliveries to the convention center, running back and forth from my store bringing fresh food for the special guests. On one of those trips, I was rolling two large delivery boxes on a dolly toward my vehicle and saw Leonard Nimoy coming in the door in front of me flanked by two large men who could only have been bodyguards. I guess that I was momentarily star struck because I didn’t see the pillar sticking out from the wall in front of me and promptly ran into it, boxes and all. “Are you all right?”, he asked. Embarrassed that I had been that clumsy – and in front of Mr. Spock, no less! – I sheepishly replied, “Yes. Thank you” and continued to my car.

Moments later as my face returned to it’s normal color I realized that I totally forgot the questions I wanted to ask him. I had been so intimidated by his star status (and my subsequent encounter with the pillar) that my mind went blank. Later I realized that if he was indeed the untouchable mega star that I had pictured him being, he likely wouldn’t have even asked if I was OK.

Looking back on that situation, there are a few key takeaways I want to share with you that I wish I had been preparing in my own life at the time:

1.  My path toward my dreams won’t look like other people’s path. That’s not only OK, but it’s the way things are supposed to be.

2.  The fears that we encounter are often not based in reality. We tell ourselves stories that are not true and then react to them in fear rather than in confidence because we fear what others might think or what may happen.

3.  The more we practice, the better we will be when the opportunity arrives. This can be with smaller experiences or simply rehearsing mentally, but if we’ve already “been there”, we’ll be far more comfortable when the big moments arrive.

Oh, and one more thing: I heard from some of the servers in the green room at the event, Leonard Nimoy AKA Mr. Spock, chose a Chick-fil-A sandwich for lunch that day.

#LLAP

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