5 Consequences of Victim Thinking

5 Consequences of Victim Thinking

Have you heard something like, “It’s better to give someone a hand up than a handout”? Well, contrary to societal opinion, it’s not a mean or cruel statement. It’s wisdom, because it strikes at the heart of human nature. Sure, there are times to give freely to people in need because we’ve been so blessed. I believe we’re called do so and I bet you do just that. But, when I put my hand out—feeling entitled, deserving, and play the victim—there are clear consequences:

  1. I become lazy
  2. I get angry
  3. I fail to contribute
  4. I don’t serve
  5. I stop learning

Let’s look at these briefly.

  • I become lazy.
    If I am handed stuff, why sweat, labor, and toil? Even though we were created to create and designed to work, any person given all he or she needs will find the path of doing nothing an easy one to tread. I simply become lazy.
  •  I get angry.
    When I believe I’m entitled and then don’t get “what I deserve,” my thoughts are, Hey, not fair! and Why would they do this to me!? And because thoughts drive feelings, the output can only be one thing: Now I’m mad! Anger is generally an unhealthy place to be, serving none of us well.
  • I fail to contribute.
    There’s not a “motivational speaker” who hasn’t said, “What goes around comes around!” and “To get you must first give!” Well, no matter your view of these sweaty people on the platform, they’re right. It’s just the way the world works. It’s forever true: we reap what we sow. Truly, when my hand is out, I’m not using it, nor my feet, energy, or talent to add value to anyone else’s life. Fail!
  • I don’t serve.
    This sounds like contribution, but it comes before. Contribution is the result; service is the act. The act of serving feeds our soul, ignites our spirit, and creates joy–in us. When engaged in victim thinking, there’s about zero chance I’ll be serving and thus contributing to anyone–not even myself.
  • I stop learning.
    If I am lost in the forest, have never been a Boy Scout and want to survive, I would have to learn and learn fast! There would be no time for the traps victim thinking leads to: complaining, blaming, and procrastinating. I would work–intensely—to find food, water, and shelter. I may lack the skills, but the desire to learn would envelope me. If you hand me all that I need to make it, I would learn nothing.

So honest question: Have you ever found yourself in any of these places?

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The Power of Love

The Power of Love

“The things in life I have learned from my dog” has become a very real statement to our family. Our family was recently in search of a new family pet. Little did we know that we would experience an incredible blessing through the power of love in that search.

Our family are pet loving freaks! Home would feel empty without little paws running around. We recently had to say goodbye to our fourteen year old fur baby, Beau. It was heartbreaking for everyone, and it was especially hard on our other little dog Snickers. So started our search for Snicker’s new friend. We started with putting out feelers to area vets for a rescue pet. Oh – and Petfinder is so much fun!!! I love looking at all the cute little faces in need of a home; my only problem was that I wanted them all!

With four children, the decision to adopt a second dog was a big one! There was a big disagreement among our family: would we choose another little dog or a big one? The small dog side won & we adopted the cutest little puppy we named Daisy. Although since we named her we have decided that she should have been named Miss Piggy! She is a little roly poly! Our family was excited, happy and content with our new little girl. THEN, I got a phone call.

An Unexpected Rescue

A vet I had reached out to in the beginning was on the line and said, “We have a little angel that needs lots of love. I think he is perfect for you. He is a golden retriever and lab mix. He is a very shy and cautious little guy. He has been horribly abused and is blind in his left eye. He needs a lot of love and patience.” So if adopting a second dog was not a big enough decision, we were now considering three dogs???

We called several friends for their opinions, but we were really just wanting them to talk some sense into us. Their response – “YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY! But what’s new?!”

To make a long story short, we picked up Colt that week. What a sweet dog he was but so scared and introverted. Even the tiniest noise or move would cause him to jump and withdraw; he was terrified. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how this was going to work out. Our boys had wanted a big dog to run and play with, but Colt was not that dog. I began questioning if we had made the right decision. “Was a home with active little boys, the right home for him?” Yet, we were committed to just love him and show him that he was in a safe place, and we did just that. We spent time with him, loving him, petting him, protecting him and showing him affection.

The Power of Love

WOW! This is where we saw the true power of love – unconditional love! After just 4 days of unconditional love Colt came alive! We watched a terrified little dog turn into a big, bouncy, happy and playful, energetic and trusting puppy. It has been so much fun to watch this 2-year old dog live the life of the puppy he had never gotten to be. He has more energy than our two boys combined – and that’s enough energy to run a small town! Now the three pawed amigos – Snickers, Daisy and Colt – are all so happy and home!

What have we learned from our dog?

We can be beaten down, abused and scared, but there is always hope for us to live the life we were intended. If we live life accepting that we are victims, we will remain in our own shell – hurting, withdrawn and holding people at a distance. We have to allow ourselves to become vulnerable; to share our hurts, and in turn open ourselves up to be loved. No – not everyone is going to give us unconditional love and a safe place, and we are probably not going to have someone come and rescue us either. But we can always rescue ourselves by surrounding ourselves with safe people. People who will encourage us, build us up and love us with God’s unconditional love, helping us to be all that we were created to be.

Today, it’s your choice! It’s time to take responsibility for your own joy. Click here to rescue yourself!

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5 Consequences of Victim Thinking

5 Consequences of Victim Thinking

Have you heard something like, “It’s better to give someone a hand up than a handout”? Well, contrary to societal opinion, it’s not a mean or cruel statement. It’s wisdom, because it strikes at the heart of human nature. Sure, there are times to give freely to people in need because we’ve been so blessed. I believe we’re called do so and I bet you do just that. But, when I put my hand out—feeling entitled, deserving, and play the victim—there are clear consequences:

  1. I become lazy
  2. I get angry
  3. I fail to contribute
  4. I don’t serve
  5. I stop learning

Let’s look at these briefly.

  • I become lazy.
    If I am handed stuff, why sweat, labor, and toil? Even though we were created to create and designed to work, any person given all he or she needs will find the path of doing nothing an easy one to tread. I simply become lazy.
  •  I get angry.
    When I believe I’m entitled and then don’t get “what I deserve,” my thoughts are, Hey, not fair! and Why would they do this to me!? And because thoughts drive feelings, the output can only be one thing: Now I’m mad! Anger is generally an unhealthy place to be, serving none of us well.
  • I fail to contribute.
    There’s not a “motivational speaker” who hasn’t said, “What goes around comes around!” and “To get you must first give!” Well, no matter your view of these sweaty people on the platform, they’re right. It’s just the way the world works. It’s forever true: we reap what we sow. Truly, when my hand is out, I’m not using it, nor my feet, energy, or talent to add value to anyone else’s life. Fail!
  • I don’t serve.
    This sounds like contribution, but it comes before. Contribution is the result; service is the act. The act of serving feeds our soul, ignites our spirit, and creates joy–in us. When engaged in victim thinking, there’s about zero chance I’ll be serving and thus contributing to anyone–not even myself.
  • I stop learning.
    If I am lost in the forest, have never been a Boy Scout and want to survive, I would have to learn and learn fast! There would be no time for the traps victim thinking leads to: complaining, blaming, and procrastinating. I would work–intensely—to find food, water, and shelter. I may lack the skills, but the desire to learn would envelope me. If you hand me all that I need to make it, I would learn nothing.

So honest question: Have you ever found yourself in any of these places?

FREE Mini Journey Training

Discover How To Find More Passion and Purpose In Your Life!

Click here for instant access to FREE Training