Lose Your Quit

Lose Your Quit

I was speaking at an event in New Orleans recently, and I told a story of a defining moment I had during my time on The Biggest Loser. I think it might be something that you need to hear, too.

On The Biggest Loser, each week we had a challenge. It might be a feat of speed that you might have to compete at (of which I would never win…I’m slow). Or it might be a feat of strength that you might have to win (and there was a contestant there that could do a pull-up on day one! I couldn’t even hang for 1 second at 430 pounds). Needless to say, this 5’11” short, Irish-American wasn’t very fast, or strong, or even confident at the time. For the first 4 weeks I didn’t do well in the challenges. In fact, I was usually in the back of the pack. But in Week 6, we had a different kind of challenge.

Your Strength may not be your strength

When we walked down to the beach and saw Alison Sweeny, we knew something was about to happen. We arrived to see 8 large sand piles on Malibu Beach, each with a shovel handle sticking out of the top. I heard the contestant next to me groan, “Ah, man! Do you know what we’re gonna have to do?” And I answered while smiling, “Oh yea, I do! We’re gonna have to DIG!”

He thought I was crazy, but what he didn’t know was that I can dig! I mean, not just dig, but if you put a sharp-shooter shovel in my hands, it’s like a 6-shooter in John Wayne’s hands! Much of my life was spent with a shovel in hand – on my Uncle’s paving crew, and while looking for property corners while surveying land – and I felt something for the first time: confidence!

The Race Begins

Alison explained that each team of four would have to dig down into the beach and uncover a treasure digging-in-sandchest that contained a key. After we retrieved it and unlocked one of four locks on a prize box, we could go back to help a teammate dig. The first team of four to unlock all of the locks would get what was inside the box.

Alison said, “On your mark, get set, GO!” and we were off! And after 25 minutes of digging, with my back killing me, my chest was nowhere in sight. I was so frustrated, because it seemed I was just making no headway!

Have you ever dug a hole in the sand? What happens? After you dig some sand out, and it looks like you’re making progress, the sides cave in and cover up all of the hard work you just did. After the 25 minutes I was getting so discouraged that I felt like giving up.

It’s not a matter of speed, it’s a matter of will

But I didn’t give up. I kept digging and digging and digging. So much so that I got angry! And finally, the shovel came down and hit something!

“Danny’s the first one to get to his treasure chest!” Those words were the sweetest words I’d heard since going to the biggest loser! I was FIRST at something! I pulled it out of the sand, got the key, and ran to unlock my lock. After doing so, I returned to see who could dig the best so I could help them finish – and my team couldn’t dig worth a darn!

I was first, but our team lost the challenge. And when I found out that the Blue Team had won plane tickets home to their families, I cried. I hadn’t seen or talked to Darci, David and Mary Claire in over a month! I was devastated.

Defining moments often come in defeat

I walked over to the hole I had just dug and looked down in it. And I saw something other than a hole; I saw my life.

Over and over I would begin to lose weight, losing 10 – 20 – 30 – even 60 pounds, only to become discouraged and quit. In fact, I lost 239 pounds in 6 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days on that show – but that was NOTHING! I added up all of the weight I had lost and regained over the 10 years before that night and was shocked. I’d lost over 1,000 pounds! I’d lose some and get injured – quit – and gain it all back. Then I’d lose some more and go out with friends – and eat pizza – and never get back on track, causing me to gain it all back and then some. And let’s face it – when you weigh almost 500 pounds likboxing-800x600le I did, and you lose 20 pounds, it seems like the sand that kept caving in on me! I’ll never be finished!

But that night, digging that hole, I didn’t give up; I didn’t quit. And I finished! I made myself a promise that night. I promised myself that no matter how hard things got, no matter how hopeless things seemed in my life, that when I set out to do something, I WOULD FINISH! I would Lose My Quit. And never again would I be a quitter.

Life is that hole in the sand

In our marriages and relationships, in our jobs, in our health, in our goals and dreams…There will always be a thousand reasons to quit. But what you need to do when you hit those times is keep going! Victory is just on the other side of that obstacle! Lose Your Quit and you will get where you are going.

No matter what you see (or don’t see), no matter what you hear, no matter how you feel, what matters is what you do – Never, ever quit. Never give up, and I promise, you’ll have a defining moment in the struggle, and your Journey will not be in vain!

In The Journey Training, you’ll have several defining moments like mine. You’ll find out things that have been holding you back, things you need to do to get you where you want to be, and you’ll also find ways to enjoy the journey instead of just racing the race! I hope you’ll join us for the next Threshold and begin digging your hole today! The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll have your defining moment!

 

 

“Do What?”

“Do What?”

I am a facilitator in The Journey Training. Recently, I was traveling to Tulsa for a training weekend and I had a layover at the Atlanta airport. I had several hours in between my flights so I got something to eat and then went to the assigned gate with plenty of time to charge my phone and catch up on some email. When I arrived at my gate all of the electric outlets were already being used by other people. I’ll admit I was a little frustrated. I looked around and noticed a fairly empty area a few gates away, so I went down there and sat in a seat near the check-in desk. I plugged in and started to go through my email. Everything was back on plan.

About 5 minutes later, a lady came to the gate area and sat directly across from me on the other side the check-in desk. I could tell that she was very distraught. She was talking with someone on her phone, she was bent over and rocking back and forth in the seat, and she was crying. I had no idea what was wrong, but it must have been bad.

Immediately, a soft voice in my head said “Go to her.” I answered that voice with “Do what? I don’t think so, I’m busy.” A few minutes go by and that voice says again “Go to her.” Once again, I declined and added “Someone else will help her.” This process repeated itself in my head several times over the next 15 minutes or so until I finally said to the insistent voice “Ok, Ok – I’ll go!” Then I started trying to figure out what to say and how I was going to help her. I remembered that I had a travel pack of Kleenex in my briefcase. I got the Kleenex out and wouldn’t you know it, that’s when she stopped talking on her phone. I thought I was just going to be able to walk over, offer her the Kleenex, and walk away. I would have done what the voice asked me to do and that would be that.

I had already made eye contact with her though and now I was committed. There was no easy way out. I got up, grabbed my stuff, walked over and said “I’m not sure what you’re going through, I hope these will help a little.” She reached up and grabbed hold of the Kleenex but didn’t pull them from my hand. She just looked at me. I sat down and asked her what had happened. It took her a minute and then she said “My ex-husband committed suicide 3 hours ago, he shot himself.” I was shocked by her statement, but then things just slowed down and I knew why I was there and what I was supposed to do.

For the next 40 minutes we sat and talked. She told me about how angry she was at him, about how she should have seen the warning signs, about how it was her fault. And yes we cried together too – in front of all kinds of people. But before she boarded her flight, I helped her understand that it wasn’t her fault and I got her to tell me all the good things about him. Slowly, the weariness of guilt, grief, and anger began to fade and her face began to change when she told me how he would play with their young grandson on the floor. We talked about how she was going to go through a lot of ups and downs in the days and weeks to come. I encouraged her to remember the good things about him during those down times. Then it was time for her to board her flight. She thanked me for spending time with her, we said our goodbyes, and we went our separate ways.

I’ve thought about that day often since then. Looking back, I realize now that God orchestrated my steps. He intentionally positioned me at that gate, in that seat, directly across from another empty seat, for a specific purpose. I almost chose to ignore Him, several times in fact. Why? Because I was afraid. What was I so afraid of? Was it that she might reject my offer to help? Honestly, I think I was most afraid of being embarrassed in front of other people – if she would have made a scene and yelled something like “Just leave me alone, it’s none of your business!” I was afraid of being humiliated in public.

I’m so glad that I finally listened to the soft voice and didn’t let that fear stop me! She may never remember my name or all the details of our conversation, but I’m certain she will never forget how she felt when someone cared enough to just offer her a tissue and sit and talk with her. I hope I was as big a blessing to her as she was to me. Yes that’s what I said. She was a huge blessing to me too. She helped me remember what courage is that day, to take action even when it feels uncomfortable. God used both of us!

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people … Galatians 6:10 NIV

We are all presented with opportunities every single day to make a difference in the life of another person and receive a blessing for ourselves in return. We most often hear that soft voice, God’s voice, and choose to ignore it. We often tell ourselves “It’s none of my business, don’t get involved, they don’t need any help.” We just sit there or walk on by because we’re afraid of something.

Whenever we are doing something that is not in our best interest or in the best interest of others, we are choosing to let fear control us.

We need to realize that these opportunities are not accidents or coincidences. We need to make the choice to slow our lives down a bit so we can truly see what is going on around us, to listen to that soft voice that urges us to act, and set aside our personal fears and take action.

Let’s make it our business to have courage – to reach out to other people – to get involved – to do good in this world!

Do you often deny or ignore that soft voice? Do you let fear keep you from taking action? Come join us in The Journey Training. We’ll help you find out why and how to change it. I hope we see you soon!

 

 

 

“I Bet There’s a Good Reason For That!” (The Power of the Positive Possibility)

“I Bet There’s a Good Reason For That!” (The Power of the Positive Possibility)

Have you ever found yourself in an argument with someone – perhaps your spouse, a family member, or a business partner – and you just couldn’t come to an agreement?  Perhaps it’s not totally their fault.  I know, I know… You’re always right, right?

A friend of mine told me that in the past she always said her dream home was a white home with a wrap-around porch.  When she’d tell her husband about this, he’d say, “No way!  Brick is what we’ll have!”  She’d grit her teeth and think to herself, “Why is he so controlling?!”  When I asked her, “What happened?”  She told me she finally gave in and they now live in a brick home – which she loves!  She said, “Utilities are cheaper, it protects from the elements so much better, and the resale value is much higher than a frame house like I wanted.  I’m so glad we chose brick!”  I asked her to explain why she was willing to give up her dream home.  She continued, “I asked myself: Is my husband crazy? Nope. Is he stupid? Nope! Does he love me? Yup!  Then there’s got to be a reason for that!” She chose to consider a positive possibility rather than a negative one.

When she chose to see things from a different perspective, that perhaps her husband had their best interests at heart, she was willing to let go and accept his decision – and now she’s happier for it!  After hearing this story, I began thinking of all the things in life there’s got to be a reason for. All the fights, all the disagreements, and all of the decisions we make!  I began to dig a little deeper and concluded that in life, we tend to make up stories about why someone does what they do.  Sometimes, those stories are true; and sometimes they aren’t!

On the way to a hike, my son and I were driving by the casino when the car in front of us turned into the parking lot.  It was 7:45am!  I said, “That’s sad.”  My son asked why it was sad and I told him, “If someone was pulling in to the casino that early, they must be an addicted gambler.”  I was an addicted gambler years before and identified with them.  He then said, “How do you know dad?  They may be celebrating their birthday with family and meeting everyone there for breakfast.”  Man, what wisdom! What a different perspective! He looked for a positive possibility rather than a negative one.

Later on the hike, I told that story to my Bootcamp and one of my trainees said, “She might have been going to work to provide for her kids.” WOW! That’s a possibility, too! Why am I so judgmental when I don’t know the real story?  And the only way I’d know the real story is if I asked.

So many times in life, we make up stories and judge people by our own deductions of what their true intentions are.  Perhaps we should just ask what they are rather than assuming something negative! If my friend had asked her husband why he wanted brick, he could have explained it to her.  Maybe no argument would have ensued!

Then I thought if I quit judging people so harshly, I’d see the positive possibility instead of automatically gravitating to the negative one.  And I promise; if you’re the one who gravitates to those negative possibilities, you’re not alone!  Many people come to The Journey Training with behaviors that create unnecessary friction, drama, and negative outcomes in their life – and they don’t even know why!  By the time their training is over, they’re not perfect; but at least they know some of why they do what they do.  Then, if they choose, they can begin to change it – and in turn create a better life!

I promise you, whether you tend to choose the positive possibility or the negative possibility, there’s got to be a reason for that.  Are you ready to find out why?  Sign up for Threshold class in The Journey Training and open your eyes to a whole new world!

FREE Mini Journey Training

Discover How To Find More Passion and Purpose In Your Life!

Click here for instant access to FREE Training

Overwhelmed!

Overwhelmed!

It’s too much! I’m overwhelmed! He or she won’t leave me alone. They’re really overwhelming me.  I have to plan, cook, clean, take care of the kids, and insert 5 other obligations! I’m so overwhelmed! It’s all too much!

Any of these sound familiar? We use the word overwhelmed to describe a significant degree of intense emotion. It can be used positively (overwhelmed by support, for example), but is often used in a negative manner.

According to Merriam-Webster, overwhelmed can mean 1. To affect someone or something very strongly, 2. To cause someone to have too much to deal with, and 3. To defeat someone completely.

In my experience, overwhelmed is OVERWHELMINGLY associated with Definition 2, to cause someone to have too much to deal with. I have been changing my perspective to define it as the first, to affect someone very strongly.

Big Daddy Weave has a song, “Overwhelmed”. It’s a beautiful song for worship, with lyrics like, “I delight myself in  You, captivated by Your beauty.  I’m overwhelmed by You.”  Captivated by God, now isn’t that much better than having too much to deal with?

In the next month from the time this is written, I will be moving and will begin a school year as a full-time Special Education teacher. It can be easy to feel overwhelmed already, in that I have too much to do. I’m choosing to keep the perspective, not of too much to do, but being captivated by all that I GET to do! I have a new home AND a new job! How awesome! I’m captivated by this next chapter of my life!

In The Journey Training, participants are equipped with tools to deal with their feelings and perspectives! Sign up for the next Threshold class and you will be overwhelmed by the love and support you receive…and you don’t have to cook or clean a thing!

 

FREE Mini Journey Training

Discover How To Find More Passion and Purpose In Your Life!

Click here for instant access to FREE Training

Worry Steals Joy By: Sheila Dewald

Worry Steals Joy By: Sheila Dewald

I am so thankful for the times in life when the light bulb comes on – the champion moments that occur when we least expect them. I didn’t think visiting my lifelong “bestie” in Wichita would be one of those times. I was packing for the trip to meet her last Sunday and Monday – she was traveling from MN to Wichita to watch her son play in a college golf tournament. We hadn’t seen each other in a number of years due to busy lives and distance but we still keep in touch. I was stressed out about what to pack, what to wear, why had I not lost some weight, gotten my hair cut….Will she think I look good or have aged a lot…. completely forgetting that she has been my closet friend for 46 years and has seen the good and bad, all of it!

I have always loved being around her and we always seem to pick up where we left off. She is always smiling and when we were kids she was always up to something. I have always admired her love for life and outgoing personality. A few years ago she was diagnosed with MS. I wondered if she would be the same, surely that kind of diagnosis changes a person but not her. I wondered how she was still happy and encouraging to me and others. I was telling her what an inspiration she is to me and that her attitude, in the midst of adversity, is simply amazing. I told her I wanted to be like that but that is something I struggle with and maybe it’s a personality thing. She said you just worry way too much!! The choice comes in the surrender – true, 100% surrender to God and being who he created you to be.

I went back to my hotel room later that evening thinking about true surrender. I picked up a book I had taken along for the trip in case I had some time to read. “Confidence of a Champion” by Tim Marks. I started reading a section of the book which contains a passage from “The Greatest Miracle in the World” by Og Mandino.   The passage is amazing – it talks about the miracle of you and me.

  • Never, until the end of time will there be another such as YOU.
  • YOU are the rarest thing in the world
  • God brought forth a one of a kind, rarest of the rare – YOU!
  • YOU are a priceless treasure possessed of qualities in the mind and speech and movement and appearance and actions as NO other who has ever lived, lives or shall live.

Why have you valued yourself in pennies when you are worth a king’s ransom?

How can YOU – one of a kind you be anything less than invaluable? YOU are EXTRAORDINARY!

Why is it that we worry that we aren’t good enough? I began to realize like never before that a worried life is not a surrendered life.   Worry steals joy, peace and my greatnesss – the very greatness God created me for.   Sometimes it takes a special friend or mentor who is walking a truly surrendered life to remind us of who we really are and who we belong to – to remind us we were great all along.

 

FREE Mini Journey Training

Discover How To Find More Passion and Purpose In Your Life!

Click here for instant access to FREE Training