“In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” Romans 12:6 NLT
Is it better to have had and lost than to never have had at all? While you ponder that, allow me to share something that used to be a major pet peeve.
I used to get highly offended when someone would complain to me about their car being in the shop, or having to lend it to someone else. How could they possibly get around for a week with no car?
Why did this bother me? I have a visual impairment, so I can’t drive. I get around with the help of my family, friends, public transportation, and most recently, Uber. I have always had to figure out how to get from place to place, so from my perspective, a week with no car is minor. I confess that my thinking was judgmental. I have also come to respect the significance of the inconvenience. It comes down to potential.
Potential consists of latent (existing, but not developed) qualities that have the capacity to be developed. I’ve never been able to legally drive, so while the desire is within me, the capacity to do so (legally) never has existed. The potential is not there. However, the quality has been developed in those who do drive, and therefore, when a car is in the shop, they are not able to use their full mobility potential.
My potential, on the other hand, lies in the ability to get around extremely well despite my inability to drive! I am known for adventures like getting to a friend’s concert 100 miles away and back in 16 hours. I have potential to ask for help and creatively coordinate plans and rides…because it’s what I’ve always done! I have the potential to build amazing relationships from the car rides.
Are you tapping into your full potential? The Journey Training can provide you with tools to explore your potential and act on it! Don’t sit at home and mope because you don’t have a car. Drive (or ride) on over and sign up for the next class!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, help me understand that my potential is not defined by my circumstances.
Journal: What potential do I have that I am not using to the fullest?
Post/Tweet Today: Tap into your full potential! #limitless #triumph #thejourneytraining
Would you rather have a cat or a dog? Be a race car or helicopter? Be in first grade or second grade? Be an animal or a fictional character? Give three reasons and examples, a good conclusion, check for capitalization and punctuation, and you have Writer’s Workshop in my 2nd Grade classroom the last couple of weeks.
As adults, our “Would You Rather?” questions are a bit harder and have more at stake. Would you rather rent or buy? Go back to school or get out of debt? Work outside the home or stay at home?
It’s all about priorities.
My biggest priorities right now are my health & fitness, my career & my finances. When faced with a “Would you rather?” moment, I weigh it in light of my priorities. Would I rather go on a day trip or save that money for a big trip later? Would I rather have that cake or see the scale go down? Go out to eat extra now or save the money and calories for this weekend? Sleep in or get to work early? On their own, I may want all of them. Putting them head to head, however, the higher priority is what should win out most of the time.
Instant Gratification vs. the Long Term Reward?
In the moment, I would rather have that Mexican food, but afterwards I feel sick. In the long run, I want to lose weight. When a friend invites me somewhere, of course I want to go; I’m a quality time person after all! Laying in my bed is super comfortable…until I’m panicked because I’m running late.
Planning Ahead
As I began to look at my priorities, I was talking with a friend who is a Catholic Priest about his priorities. While all of his duties as a Priest are important, sometimes they can compete with each other. He has already pre-planned the order of his priorities, so when faced with a dilemma of two priorities, he can confidently choose based on his pre-set list of priorities.
Likewise, when I have my meals planned ahead, it is easier to put off the Mexican food until I’m with friends on the weekend. When faced with a socio-financial temptation, I’ve already decided that I’m saving for a trip in April, and I can offer up a cheaper activity that still involves quality time.
Last May, while not phrased as “Would you rather”, I was faced with a choice; resign from my job without a job lined up or commit to another year at a job where I was miserable. My priority to leave meant that I also had to choose financial planning and action steps to find a new job. Believe it or not, this was one of the most peaceful “Would you rather” decisions of my life!
What would you rather do? Take a look at your priorities, make some plans, and in turn, help yourself get what you really want!
I am Alison, and I am a graduate of The Journey Training program, in which participants are equipped with the tools to make life-choices that pay the highest dividends. Would you rather be stuck where you are or find freedom and achieve your dreams? Make YOU a priority and enroll in the next Threshold class!
Oh, and by the way…the answers to the introductory questions are as follows: dog (if I MUST choose), helicopter (would make life way easier), second grade, and fictional character (opposite a dashing and handsome leading man).
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She said “Don’t get me anything for Valentine’s Day,” so I didn’t. Wrong move! After a conference I went up to one of the speakers and asked him, “What has made you so successful?” He looked toward me and after pausing for a moment said, “Two words: Good Judgement.” I was puzzled – I mean, how do I get this? So I asked him, “How do you get the wisdom to make good judgement?” He smiled and replied, “Bad judgement!”
The Journey Training is a program that excels in providing tools for people to look in the mirror of their life, evaluate their responses, and then take steps in the direction they truly want to go. Though we are not a seminar focused solely on marriage and relationships, we’ve found that when someone focuses on themselves and begins to make improvements, it always has a positive impact on their spouse or significant other.
We polled several alumni from The Journey Training classes to help create the best Valentine’s Day yet. No. It’s not a “Top Ten Best Restaurants” or even the “Top Five Best Gifts,” it’s even better than that!
Here are the top 20 things NOT do in a relationship on Valentine’s Day… according to our real-life responses on Facebook for their most epic Valentine’s Day fail!
1. Okay, the worst present I ever got Holly was about 10 years ago. I got her a “gift certificate” to a nail salon. I was in a hurry that day so I printed it on the home printer – all official with the logo of the salon and I wrapped it. However, in my rush I actually forgot to “buy” the gift certificate at the salon. Not good – not good at all. She later took the fake certificate to the salon, proceeded to argue with the employee for almost an hour, demanding she redeem it for her Mani-Pedi. Really…not good at all.
2. I was given a nose hair trimmer, if that was not gross enough, I later found out he bought it for $1 at a garage sale.
3. My ex bought me a laser hair removal package for a gift once. I guess he thought he was married to a Sasquatch! It was extremely painful to redeem!
4. We had been married TEN years when my husband gave me pierced diamond earrings for Valentine’s Day. But my ears aren’t even pierced. We have now been married 40 years & he will always be the love of my life. He tries very hard to please me.
5. I once got Jeanette a strawberry margarita… in a can… from a gas station! She said it tasted like gasoline mixed with alcoholic Kool-Aid. I really thought I was winning when I bought it. I most definitely did not win.
6. Seriously, my brother-in-law got my sister a scale! Yes, you heard it right. He said, “Well I knew you wanted to lose weight, so I thought it might help.”
7. I got here a shotgun so “we” could go duck hunting. We’ve never been duck hunting together and the shotgun still hasn’t been fired. It was my gift to her on our 2nd wedding anniversary.
8. A Rice Steamer! Should have seen the look on her face.
9. Speaker stands for MY surround sound system, and a set of pots and pans.
10. A cordless lawn trimmer.
11. I bought her an elliptical machine. “Thanks… wait. What are you trying to say?”
12. I got her a box of Cascade and a $20 bill! Still not sure why she didn’t like it.
13. An ex-boyfriend gave me a picture of himself. No frame. Not even a nice picture. Just a photo printed from Walgreens.
14. We are always throwing out food from the refrigerator that had set too long without eating, SOOO… I thought, wah-lah! “A food preserver.” Yeah she’ll love it!! Vacuum sealed freshness. HA! We have never used the dang thing. Still have it though!
15. I am hoping this gives some guys some wisdom! I mixed up the Christmas presents once and took the wrong gift to my in-laws. You should have seen the look on my mother-in-law’s face when she received edible panties & hand cuffs from me!
16. I got nothing but a card and it was terrible, not even romantic at all and I told my husband I hated it. He gave me the EXACT same card 2 years later. What an insult!
17. A few years back, I was so busy at work that I worked right through Valentine’s Day… and on the 15th I gave my wife a card, flowers, and candy and was planning dinner thinking it was Valentine day.
18. My husband has always been a poor gift giver, even after I have told him “I would really like such-n-such,” he still gives me nothing. Zilch, nada, nothin! So when I came home to find a gift on his side of the dresser, I was excited to think that my man finally got me my first Valentine’s gift after 6 years of marriage! It was a beautiful, super soft, plush white Teddy Bear with a red bow. I was in love thinking about how much he loves me. I carried that bear around all day admiring it and thinking about him and searching the house for the chocolate I knew he had probably gotten me. He came home that evening, sees me holding the bear, smiles, and says, “Do you like what I got my mom for her birthday?” AGH! Her birthday is on the 16th and I can officially say 23 years going strong and still no Valentine’s Day gifts. So now I buy myself flowers, hand him the receipt, and say thank you.
19. My worst Valentine’s gift was… A box of chocolates… YES! My husband knew I was on a diet/no sugar and he ended up eating them. I’ve always wondered if he bought them for himself to enjoy.
20. One year I waited until the last minute, and I knew my wife loves coffee, so I went and bought her a coffee cup with her favorite saying on it. The gift looks sort of plain so I bought chocolates and candy to fill it up. One problem: I bought her all of the candy that I like, not that she likes. And then I ate the candy myself! (Well, it was just sitting there staring at me!) The second problem is every time she drank coffee in the morning she was reminded of that horrible gift I gave her…and ate myself.”
So what are the common threads? Guys want to purchase our gals things that WE want, not things that SHE wants. I know that we want to look cool – like we have it all together. The bottom line is if you don’t know what to get her, ASK her. Sometimes I am afraid of the reaction that says, “You should know me well enough that you don’t need to ask!” If that is what you’re afraid of, then I need to ask this. Is it worth your epic fail being on this page? ASK!! If you are looking for a group of guys to keep you out of the Doghouse, try one of our Guys Nights!
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I don’t think there is a more polarizing vegetable. At the mention of them the reactions are generally one of “Yuck!” Some people say just the name leaves a bad taste in their mouth. I, however, am one of the ones in the other camp; I happen to love them.
I didn’t grow up eating Brussel sprouts; in fact, I didn’t even try them until I was in my twenties. I think that made the difference. Those who were forced to eat them before their palate was ready have rejected those poor little miniature cabbages for all eternity.
How often do we do the same thing with certain habits?
Experience changes things
Say you tried dieting before you were fully ready to commit. You wouldn’t have much success, right? Perhaps you thought to yourself, “I hate dieting! This isn’t for me,” and you just gave up and never tried to diet again because of that early failure.
Allow your palate to mature and give it a second (or third or fourth…) try. As we grow and change throughout our lives, we are more able to see connections that we couldn’t before. Our experiences in different parts of life are able to shape our thoughts and decisions in the rest of our life.
Take money for example. As an impulsive young woman, I had to have a tight grip on my finances. I had to know exactly what my bank balance was and what my upcoming bills were before I would allow myself to go to the mall.
I thought constantly about how much was ok to spend and where the line in the sand would be on my spending limit, whether it was for a new clothes or groceries. I couldn’t simply enjoy going out with friends, I obsessed over what I would allow myself to spend on dinner. I stopped eating out altogether at one point, choosing to eat at home and meet up with everyone else later. All of that worrying was what I thought budgeting was.
I told myself that worrying was the only way of being smart with money. In effect, I let my money control me. I hated it! When my husband and I first got engaged, I happily gave him pretty much total control of the money and budgeting. I gave away my power with it and for years, I would avoid any conversation that was centered around money.
Fear breeds avoidance
Being afraid of money isn’t healthy. I just wasn’t mature enough to learn how to budget properly and find a way that made me comfortable. This is still something that I struggle with, due to some deeper issues, but I’m slowly (very slowly!) finding ways to make my budget work for me and not the other way around.
Face your brussel sprouts!
Maybe you have been avoiding brussel sprouts for too long. Try them in a different way. Try them roasted instead of boiled. Or sautéed up with bacon and cranberries. Instead of counting calories and being afraid of food, find a different diet that works with how you are NOW. Instead of being afraid of money, find a budget plan that works with your lifestyle (and personality). Instead of forcing yourself to date the way everyone else does, find something that works for you.
So the next time you hear your friends talk about Brussel sprouts, don’t just shudder and say “Yuck!” Think about how you can see them in a different light.
Christina is a graduate of The Journey Training. The Journey Training is an experiential training that can help you see different perspectives, conquer your fears, and find different directions to success. Perhaps you’ve been struggling with something even though the answer has been right there in front of you. Maybe you just need to pause, take a breath, and step sideways so as to see things from a different perspective. The Journey Training can help you do that! Sign up for the next Threshold class today!
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Christmas! The most wonderful time of the year! A time filled with breaks from school, parties, shopping, pictures with Santa Claus, decorating the tree, hanging the stockings, family get-togethers, huge meals, cookies, and opening gifts. As children, we dream constantly about all the gifts we want and hope to get. As adults, we strive for finding the perfect gifts for everyone on our lists and the anticipation of watching the happy reactions of our loved ones and friends as the gifts are opened. What a wonderful time indeed!
The True Gift
The wonder of this holiday season and the gifts we give and receive can be so overwhelming that we often lose sight of the real reason for the season. God gave us the true gift of Christmas when He placed His love for all of us in the form of a baby named Jesus. “And when they came into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshipped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” (Matthew 2:11)
Our Gift to God
God came down to earth as a baby to ultimately show us how to love one another and to be in communion with Him. So what can we give God in return? I don’t think He’s looking for more gold, frankincense, or myrrh. It’s actually much simpler than that. We can give gifts back to God everyday by the way we live! When we choose to treat each other with kindness, mercy, grace, compassion, and love, God receives an incredible gift. That is what our Father would want more than anything and He gives us a way to do that in His word. It costs us nothing but our time and action. “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Giving Gifts
In The Journey Training, we teach a simple tool for following God’s word. We call it “Giving Gifts”. Gifts are all positive words used to affirm the best things about another person. All you have to do is go to the person you want to give the gifts to, look them in the eyes, and say “The gifts I see in you are…” If I were doing this with my beautiful wife, Lisa, it might sound something like this: “Lisa, the gifts I see in you are unconditional love, patience, courage, a sweet, sweet spirit, a great mom, and captivating beauty.” That’s really all there is to it! You can do this with anyone at any time. You will make the other person feel better about themselves and you will feel better about yourself. It can completely change the dynamics of the relationships in your life and even change you!
Merry Christmas!
I encourage you to try using this tool with your family and friends throughout this holiday season. You really have nothing to lose by trying, but you have everything to gain. The person receiving your gifts might just cherish your words more than any gift you could buy. Life is short and it is precious! How we live is our gift to God.
From the entire Journey Training team, we wish you a very
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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