I see it every January. People set New Year’s resolutions, only to watch them go down in flames a few weeks later. It’s not January yet, but have you ever set a goal or had a desire that just kept getting sabotaged over and over again? I have! And in the end, we blame everything but ourselves, going victim to the things around us and taking little to no responsibility.
What if I were to tell you that it is most likely you that is responsible for sabotaging your dreams and goals. Yes, you! Not the lack of time, or any other excuse you can muster up! If you want it, there it is – GO AND GET IT! If it were only that simple, right?
Your agenda is all about your true intention
Intentions are just that – something you plan on doing – which means you probably aren’t doing much about it right now. If I told you I intended to write a word beginning with the letter “Z”, would you say it is my true intention? Well, you couldn’t yet. I haven’t written one! But when I tell you that a Zebra has stripes, then you know for sure. Yes, it was my true intention to write a word beginning with the letter “Z”, and I just proved it. People say they are going to do thing, but so many times nothing gets done. Why is that?
I believe it is because many times we want something, but it is not our true intention to have it. There is something in the way. We’ve all noticed it and said, “Why do I keep eating badly when I just want to lose weight?” Or it might be, “Why do I keep charging things on my card when I want to be debt free?”
Our agendas are made up of priorities
When we see someone achieve the goal they set out to achieve, we might ask, “How did you stay on track?”
When I lost 239 pounds in 6 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days, no one could believe it! The world was shocked when I burst through that paper. But I wasn’t! It was my true intention. Were there things that popped up and got in the way? Yes! But I stayed on track, and to this day Darci says it was the most amazing thing she has ever seen. Because I got rid of my hidden agendas. And losing as much weight as I could became the very top tier on my priority list! When I was faced with a decision, it was easy because I knew what I really wanted.
It’s our hidden agenda that keeps us in failure
If you state a goal or desire, but it just never seems to happen, it may be because you have a hidden agenda. Let’s say I am committed to losing 4 pounds this week, but I have a lunch date every day at places that have my favorite fried foods! I will either re-schedule those lunches or change the locations, or I will most probably not lose 4 pounds this week. And if I am more committed to eating those fried foods than I am to losing 4 pounds, the goal is crushed. You see, I wanted to eat those lunches more than I wanted success. And I think we all should find these hidden agendas and challenge them so we find the success we want and deserve!
When you state a goal or desire, there will be other things you are committed to that will challenge your every decision, so you have to challenge those hidden agendas and win. In the above example, challenging them consisted of a decision to change the locations or re-schedule the lunches. Getting rid of the secondary agenda that might sabotage the first one is key. Here is a real-life example that happened last week.
A friend asked to have breakfast with me, so we met at the bagel shop. I got my coffee and banana, skipping the bagel of course because I have goals to keep! We sat down and he told me the doctors said if he doesn’t lost weight, as early as two years from now he would probably lose his leg from complications of diabetes. They were presenting him with the option of surgery, and he wanted to ask my opinion. Here is what I told him: “You have got to make your decisions ahead of time, before you are faced with a temptation. You need to get on a plan and stick to it! Don’t put it off, pre-prepare your meals on Sunday for your lunches! I grill chicken, have my meals prepared, and take them to work so my decisions are already made for me. It’s the only way you will succeed without surgery.”
He answered with, “Danny, here’s the thing. I can’t eat left-overs. I don’t know what it is, but I hate them! I only like fresh food.”
My reply was, “Well, you have to choose between losing your leg, having a dangerous surgery that doesn’t solve the problem in the end, or eating left-overs. The choice is yours, but if you say you will lose weight and bring that hidden agenda along, you might as well go ahead and buy your wheelchair.”
I don’t know what he has decided to do, but I sincerely hope he can battle the hidden agenda of not eating left-overs and make it his true intention to lose the weight and save his life.
Each month, some of the hidden agendas or, as my old friend Brian Klemmer called them – competing commitments – that people walk into The Journey Training with become uncovered, challenged, and overcome! We’ve seen great goals and dreams be achieved, but the first step was identifying what it was that was keeping them from what they truly wanted. When you identify those hidden agendas that are there, the true intention becomes a little clearer; and the path to what you really want seems to be straightened out into a shorter distance!
One thing I have found is true in my own life is Newton’s first law of motion which simply says “An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by an unbalanced force. An object in motion continues in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” Let’s look at that law in some detail and Get it in Gear!
If your gear is stop, you remain stuck
If a bullet is in a gun, it is not in motion. In order for the bullet to begin to move, it needs to be put in gear. How does this happen? Well, it takes an unbalanced force, or a force that is greater than its current stuck situation to act against it. For a bullet, it’s gunpowder. Also, someone has to cock the hammer and pull the trigger, which is the most important part of the equation!
Many of us have a great deal of unbalanced force within us. The positive force is called potential. The gear we are in at the moment is a direct result of our choices; to change that gear, we have to decide we want change more than staying the same. If you don’t make the decision to pull the trigger, you will stay stuck. It’s when you pull the trigger that change begins.
High gear, low gear, granny gear – just choose a gear and begin!
In order for what you want to change, it’s going to take a decision. I call that granny gear. You begin to move and it is powerful, but usually at a fixed speed and not very fast – which is still okay! Remember the law? Once you begin, you will stay in motion – that is unless acted on by an unbalanced force. Believe me, once you make the decision, there will be many unbalanced forces that will come against you!
It seems when you start a diet, all of the sudden birthdays happen where there is cake and ice cream, the office decides to go to eat pizza, and you begin to see every drive-through that you pass! It never fails. It’s like the world shifts against you. If you decide to pay off debt, things suddenly break down! When you decide to start your business, there will automatically be nay-sayers who will bring a thousand reasons why you can’t! Because of this, you need a plan – goal statements and action steps to create the new reality you want.
Shift it into low gear
A plan consists of a long range goal and a series of short term goals to keep you on your path during your season of change. A long range goal might be to lose 30 pounds in 6-months, and action steps might be to join a boot camp and begin working out, to begin a meal plan and start eating healthy, and to increase my water intake. That’s a great long-term goal and action steps! Now, those action steps are shorter range goals that show you what to do now – tomorrow – next week?
Join a boot camp might have action steps like make a list of 10 boot camps in my area, call them and ask for a trial session, visit all 10 boot camps in the next 30 days. That takes the guesswork out and you now have a path. The same should be done with begin a meal plan and increase my water intake. The more you plan, the more you will thwart the unbalanced forces against what you desire – and increase the speed of your gear!
Kick it into high gear!
The third step in creating the change you want is to thwart as many of those unbalanced forces against you that you can. A key to this is your support network. People will come against you, including yourself at times. There will be nay-sayers, not who challenge your methods, but those who discount every one of them. I like challengers because they give me different perspectives as to what I might face or better ways to do things. When you think that your way is always best, you lose out on options. The nay-sayers I’m talking about are those who constantly tell you things aren’t possible.
There are also people who do not want you to change. Their co-dependency create fears that your change will separate you from them. And it very well might! If someone I know only eats out, I’ll probably not be eating with them much. You can’t let others’ decisions to stay stuck keep you stuck.
You need to surround yourself with people who want you to succeed. I have a coaching group online called SLI Society that has about 10 people in the group. The successes are incredible, because we lean on each other and hear the can do’s a lot more than the can’t do’s. It is imperative that to kick it into high gear, you find a support group to lean on, keep you accountable and keep you on track during your season of change. Their unbalanced force in the positive aspect will help thwart those unbalanced forces in the negative aspect and keep you moving forward with increasing momentum!
Gear up for change
Each month in The Journey Training, people find positive support groups, learn to set goals, and most importantly of all, find the decision to pull the trigger and begin the momentum of the change they desire! They also get a group of supporting people on a private page to give them the positive power they need. Most of all, they see the potential that they possess inside to make their dreams come true!
I hear it all the time: don’t sweat the small stuff. This can be true at times, such as someone leaving the cap off the toothpaste or other irritations such as not getting your way. However, if you live by this saying in other areas of your life, it can lead to disaster!
Small stuff becomes big stuff
I was mowing the lawn the other day, and when I was weed-eating the back corner of our yard, I saw it – my greatest enemy – POISON IVY! I am extremely allergic to poison ivy; so much so that I have been covered from head to toe, had in in my eyes and ears, and even in places I will not identify in this blog! Being a land surveyor since the age of 9, I’ve had the pleasure (actually the annoyance) of meeting this terrorizing plant on more occasions than the average Joe! Just take a hike with me at Turkey Mountain – you’ll hear me mention this plant at least 50 times during the hike – warning everyone that it is looming just beyond the boundary of the trail!
Poison Ivy has been in that area of my backyard for years, but I learned that if you remove it while it is small, it’s easy. Just a pair of gloves and pulling a few small plants and almost no chance of getting the rash if you’re careful. Obviously, that area of the yard hadn’t been tended in quite a long time, so that small stuff became big stuff and now it’s going to take much more effort to handle. The same can be said for other things in our lives, too.
Little Foxes seem small – but in the end they add up
Those peanut M&M’s in the breakroom… Oh how they call my name! Just one won’t hurt, right? Well, I can tell you that I didn’t make it onto the cast of The Biggest Loser by eating just one M&M.
I made it on by eating just one M&M over and over again! Yes, I see it all the time, and have even experienced it again myself this year! Those little snacks and treats add up to enough calories that all the weeks of working hard in the gym makes absolutely no difference! Those small things canceled out my work, and in turn became a big thing again.
Yes, there have been people in my boot camp that haven’t lost very much weight. They feel better and are more physically fit, but the pant size just isn’t getting smaller. It is usually a lazy diet that causes this. For the most part, they may be making good choices when choosing what to eat. And then there are those small things – the few chips as they walk by the table, the couple of drinks they had on Saturday night, or yes – the M&M as you walk by the break room – that add up over the week to be as big as that 3500 calories you burned. And that 3500 calories you burned would have been a pound you lost! But the scale doesn’t move. This is just one example, but it can be applied to many areas of your life – in your business, your family, your faith and in you.
Small steps over time add up to big results
Results can always happen in a positive or negative aspect! Just as the above example I gave you in my own life, small choices can add up to sabotaging what you really want for what you want in the moment. Those small decisions add up to bigger results. Brian Klemmer once told me, “Results – often harsh, but always fair.” The good news is that it works both ways! Lately, I’ve been walking into that break room to get coffee or water and I look straight at those M&M’s and say out loud, “Nope! Not today folks!” And the results I am getting are amazing. I have lost 15 pounds in the past 3 weeks! A combination of that decision with a few others have made my results move in a different direction. And this direction is the one I desire!
I want to ask you a question: are you getting the results you desire? If not, could it be a product of those small choices you are making? Taking an inventory of your life in the areas you want to change is a must to actually see that change come to pass. When you see those small things that are growing into big things, it’s easier to handle it now than after weeks, months, or perhaps years of “putting up with it” and seeing it grow into something huge!
My friend Arthur Greeno was talking to me about small stuff a few months back. He saw that his Chick-Fil-A store wasn’t getting the numbers at the drive-through they had been in the past. He investigated and found out that the automatic change machine wasn’t working. He told me that counting up the change not only added to mistakes that can be made, but added an average of 6-seconds per transaction.
Not really that much, right? Well, that small amount can add up and cause their service to suffer…and also the profits to dwindle! In fact, if 1,200 cars normally go through the drive-through on a good day, that 6-seconds per car adds up to 2-hours of transactions lost in a day! Yes, small stuff can really add up to a big result!
Sweat the small stuff before it’s too late!
I’ve seen marriages end because of a few small things that were never addressed. I’ve seen businesses fail because of small things that were never caught or changed. I’ve seen diets fail because of small bites and nibbles that went unnoticed. Maybe it’s time for you to sweat the small stuff! Maybe your dreams and goals have been sabotaged by the small stuff you are not tending to. Yes, some things may only be a distraction, but the only way to know is to take an inventory.
In The Journey Training, people become aware of some of that small stuff that they didn’t even know was there! Many choose to change some of those things, and we’ve seen BIG results from those small changes, including reconciled marriages, weight-loss, and even increased income! What small stuff are you not aware of that might be holding you back? Why not give The Journey Training a chance to help you begin to sweat the small stuff and keep you from having to sweat the big stuff?!
“What are you afraid of anyway? ”Let’s face it. We’re all afraid of something. Thunderstorms, snakes, heights, darkness, public speaking – or maybe being alone or taking on a new challenge; whatever it is, fear is fear and we all deal with it at one time or another. Whether we realize it or not, fear often times is a big factor in our lives.
But what exactly is fear? If you break it down, fear can be described simply as:
False
Education
Appearing
Real
Fear from perceptions
My fears may not necessarily be like your fears, but they are no less real. I personally find clowns to be delightful and funny, but have a friend who cowers in fear at even the mention of them. While I don’t believe she will ever encounter an evil clown who intends to do her harm, her perception of clowns prevents her from seeing them any other way.
Is her fear real? Yes, it certainly is.
Fear from experience
A person very close to me had an automobile accident recently and had to get past the fear of being behind the wheel again. The fear of having another accident was very real, but if they hadn’t worked through the fear, they would have been left with no way to get to work and provide for their family. Fear can be so powerful that it can impede your ability to even do some of life’s necessary functions. You can literally become a slave to fear.
Bondage from fear
It seems at times that there is no way to avoid becoming prey to the spirit of fear. Fear is a very powerful emotion and succumbing to it can be very easy. On the other hand, overcoming fear doesn’t seem to be as easy as falling victim to it. Sure, fear exists; otherwise, courage wouldn’t exist. But far too often our fear can be magnetized into something much bigger, causing us to hesitate, or even turn and run! The good news is that much of the time, a fear is a nothing more than a lie from the enemy. You can overcome it and you can break free from it.
“Feel the fear, move through it, do it anyway” – Jillian Michaels
The Journey Training can give you the tools you need to overcome fear that is hindering you from living the life you desire and deserve. Each person that has attended The Journey Training has had to overcome some fear that they had in their lives. Whether it was a fear in the past, a fear of the future, or even a fear of change. Signing up for the Training may have been the first step through fear for many.
Living a life free from fear is possible. How do I know? Because I was once wounded by fear and let it hinder me from living life fully. And sometimes, I just have to look in the mirror and say “What are you afraid of anyway?” Maybe you should let The Journey Training show you how to get the tools to identify and overcome fear. Life lived without being slave to the spirit of fear is a good life indeed.
For much of my life I thought to win I had to go wire to wire. What does that mean? I used to play the horses quite a bit before giving up gambling, and it simply means a horse takes the lead out of the gate and never loses it, winning the race and never being behind. I’ve learned throughout life that things often work out a little different than I thought. Hanging in there can pay off!
It’s a long road, so hang in there
In our book Losing Big, Darci and I revisit our relationship and its ups and downs from the start. So many who know us were surprised to read our book, finding out just how close we were to getting a divorce.
“I never knew anything was ever wrong!” I hear that a lot. Or “I can’t believe you guys went through so much!” Well, we did, and we both hung in there – and it paid off. In the book, I remember a few times when I sensed problems before our marriage, and I almost called the wedding off. Darci remembered the emotional abuse she endured, so much so that she almost left me. We both remembered our addictions and how they were what ran our lives for a number of years, causing us both to almost throw in the towel on each other. But we didn’t. We may have lost a few battles, but we refused to lose the war. We were hanging in there. And it paid off.
We hung in there, and we did the impossible
Before the Revolutionary War, the British Army was the most revered in the world. There was absolutely no way we could possibly win our independence from Britain. Yet we did. General George Washington was a great man, but few know that he lost many more battles than he won. While I read His Excellency by Joseph Ellis, I learned so much about George Washington, and so much about the revolutionary war. There was much that was left to chance, but for those chances to come around, the American Army had to hang in there.
It was by hanging in there and not giving up that we had a chance to win the war. George Washington pondered the choices he had often, and one was an all or nothing battle with Britain. He opted against that, a choice that led to hanging in there long enough to be able to take advantage of a harsh winter the British weren’t used to. We hung in there long enough to use warfare learned from the Indians that help us defeat the greatest army on earth. And we hung in there long enough for the French to finally show up and help turn the tide of the war for good, insuring the creation of this great nation!
When the going gets tough, the tough hang in there!
My mantra during The Biggest Loser was “Lose Your Quit!” It just means never give up. Hang in there until the end. And that’s what I did.
When we went to the Biggest Loser Ranch, Rudy weighed in at 442 and I weighed in at 430 pounds. At the week 4 weigh-in Rudy, Rudy weighed 5 pounds less than I did. In the past, I might have given up, but I hung in there. Rudy was the rabbit, and I was the tortoise. I was hanging in there!
So many times before in my life, I ran the 99-yard dash. Yes, I said the 99-yard dash – quitting when things got hard or seemed impossible, when in fact victory was just around the corner! So many times if I’d kept going, I would have realized my dreams; but I would give up. Well, at 39 years old, I decided to hang in there – and I eventually beat Rudy to set my own records on The Biggest Loser!
Just hang in there – opportunity will come, so be ready!
In The Journey Training, I often see people come in looking ready to give up. Maybe it was tough times or an illness or maybe simple frustration. By the end of the training, as long as they hang in there and finish, they are ready to run that 100-yard dash for the first time in years – or perhaps the first time ever! I’ve heard it said that you get what you prepare for. But I’ve also found that if you just hang on – even when you lose a few battles – opportunity will rear its head. And when it does, those that are hanging in there will cross the goal line and score the winning touchdown! Trust me – I know!
